1 - 20 of 114 Works in The Homestuck Epilogues

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    And so the Machine did observe the people before him, and he scoffed, thinking that they could ever possibly defeat him and his armies. "The idiots. The fools. Bugs to be swatted and Squashed."

    And thus did the Machine declare them obsolete, and deserving of death. And he raised his arm and thus did he spread his influence towards them- a sickening gleaming red light falling down from the heavens upon which he sat.

    Doom and Death, he decreed.

    Doom and Death, for his Kingdom would be of Machines ruling a dead land and a dead land only.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    204,175
    Chapters:
    67/?
    Comments:
    127
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    807
  2. Tags
    Summary

    i kill dirk strider in this one

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    343
  3. Tags
    Summary

    (Originally posted to a server in the Furthest Ring and recovered by yours truly.)

    A story about Dave Elizabeth Ludacris Snoop Dogg Strider who lives in Texas. To say any more would spoil the story.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,822
    Chapters:
    25/44
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    164
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    1803
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Two omniscient bros with debilitating depression, sitting between realities, five feet apart because we haven't reached that part of the narrative yet. Keep a tight grip on the bridles of your metaphorical horses. I'm working up to it.

    (Dirk is tired. Haven't you ever wanted to let someone make the tough choices for you?)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,000
    Chapters:
    1/5
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    54
  5. Tags
    Summary

    You love your alien wife, love how deceptively fragile she seems, love her sharp words and even sharper mind. Yes, you love everything about Rose Lalonde.
    You especially love it when she calls you beautiful.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,206
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    117
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The documentation of the splintering psyche of a splintered man.

    Formatted for both mobile and desktop, but desktop provides a slightly more immersive experience.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,130
    Chapters:
    47/?
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    184
    Bookmarks:
    33
    Hits:
    2861
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Alternatively: Of Dirk Strider and the philosophical dilemma of his person.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,892
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    57
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is JAKE ENGLISH and gosh! Have things gone awry for you!

    Whether you've forced down gritty, raw meat first or stomached through sweet, terrible indulgence, neither outcome has been kind to you.

    Not to worry though! In this vast space, anything is possible, including a happy ending for someone like you.

    The question is, are you willing to work for it?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    60,517
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    378
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “So we answer the time-honored question by taking a third option,” she says, with a ghost of a smile. “When confronted by our clone, we neither fight nor fuck. We monologue.”

    “Dialogue,” you parry. “For all we’re being mindful of our prefixes.”

    Rose attempts a thought experiment. Some Strilondes are gentler with their splinter-selves than others. Spoiler alert: they fuck.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,186
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    194
  10. Tags
    Summary

    this is the homestuck epilogues, but instead of Dirk being completely chill and coy with his new powers, he just goes batshit insane and makes reality crumble around him, the protagonists of this story (every single homestuck character except dirk) now have to somehow save themselves and the whole universe from destruction by going through increasingly stupid and increasingly hilarious situations, a good time for all. (except Dirk)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,272
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    68
  11. Tags
    Summary

    You have spent years vilifying your mother. A figure once so big, she held your world in her tiny martini glass. And now, you find yourself staring face to face with her again. That same languid smile that ignored you all your youth, stuck on a teenager. For a moment, you fear that she will walk up to you and be thirty feet tall again. You approach her like a frightened gazelle might approach a lion's corpse, a small anger in your heart alight once more, to find that she is your same height.

    How do you begin to repair yourself, when you are broken at the roots?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,732
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    121
  12. Tags
    Summary

    In a spaceship hurtling to an M-Class planet to do hell knows what, a troll girl falls asleep.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,044
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    567
  13. Tags
    Summary

    "All endings are merely beginnings, waiting to be born."

    Words which had once echoed the rebirth of Mata Nui now promise a dying John Egbert a fate worse than death. Meanwhile, the people of the Matoran Universe continue their search for the Great Beings, but will soon find the ancient scientists have plans far greater than they could have imagined.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,002
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    157
  14. Tags
    Summary

    You are Rose Lalonde. You are a freedom fighter. You are a lover.

    You are not afraid.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    833
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    67
  15. Tags
    Summary

    ”could've been one lonely night
    just like the others
    but you lit up my life
    this is what it's like to be lovers“
     

    jade thinks about what she had, and what she’s left with. slightly compliant with the canon of the homestuck meat epilogue.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    828
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    67
  16. Tags
    Summary

    A look at the events surrounding the Candy Timeline from Roxy's perspective.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,273
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    251
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk knows what he's doing. When his fingers first touch narrative strings, he experiments with the unimportant. The NPCs. People who never played and won't matter before or after John makes his choice. People nobody wants to read about.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,609
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    39
  18. Tags
    Summary

    you:
    1.
    occupying a position at, or on both sides of, a boundary or threshold.
    2.
    completely empty.

    OR,
    Roxy has a midlife crisis.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,014
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    74
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Four friends refuse to answer the final curtain call and find themselves in a place where they are forced to look at the worst parts of who they are.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,749
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    76
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    553
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Jake was polishing his guns when there was a knock on the door. It was an odd time to have any visitors, at exactly midnight. Jane would most assuredly be asleep, unless there some emergency conference she needed to attend with some of the more nocturnal species. Roxy might have come over? Jake had been awoken on occasion by them when they were unable to sleep, but usually that was only if Calliope was unavailable. There was only one person who would regularly knock on his door at exactly midnight.
    “Dirk.” Jake said by way of greeting, opening the door to reveal his tall toned form.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,324
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Kudos:
    18
    Hits:
    183

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