1 - 20 of 77 Works in The Beast (Dirk Gently)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Thanksgiving dinner at Dirk and Todd's new apartment was an incredible success, with the exception of one tiny, unfortunate detail - which, according to Dirk, was actually very Big and Devastating and Not, In Any Way, His Fault. Todd begged to differ - gently, though, because obviously, something was upsetting Dirk. Figuring out what was just a matter of time, patience...and an unexpected heart-to-heart on the bathroom floor.

    (*Chapter 1 is puke-free and can be read on its own, if preferred*)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,774
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    92
  2. Tags
    Summary

    As requested, here is a collection of drabbles, all based on prompts I've gotten on tumblr (protecticarus, hence the title of this collection).
    Some are gen & some include a romantic relationship (Todd/Dirk mostly, but occasionally others too) which will be pretty clear from the prompt.
    Thank you so much for my tumblr followers for prompting, reading & liking these so far!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,796
    Chapters:
    45/?
    Comments:
    188
    Kudos:
    170
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    2245
  3. Tags
    Summary

    It's Halloween, the van just broke down, and the Rowdy 3 have a shitload of candy. It's time for some impromptu trick-or-treating.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,722
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    69
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Amanda's quiet afternoon at the agency is interrupted by the hasty return of the Rowdy 3, only one of them is now... a puppy?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,232
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    18
    Hits:
    95
  5. Tags
    Summary

    A series of promptfics for Whumptober

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,986
    Chapters:
    31/31
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    752
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Turns out there are some fundamental truths that no one can simply dismiss.

    1. Blackwing doesn't do Halloween. If something does happen and they end up celebrating, it's usually for a sick and twisted reason.

    2. Dirk Gently's plans always end up with someone bleeding and someone dying.

    3. Amanda Brotzman isn't a good driver.

    4. You never bring up the past.

    5. Farah Black should be the next James Bond.

    This is a story of how some people learn that there is always more to every truth. And to think that it all began with a simple trick-or-treating.

    Or,

    Todd can't say no to Dirk, Tina adores Farah, only Martin should drive the Oh no! van, Priest is a creepy dude and the Blackwing subjects never celebrate Halloween.

    (Oh and Ken is briefly one of the good guys.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,681
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    61
  7. Tags
    Summary

    When the reality is in danger, a message is spread all over the Universe: The promise of pain that will overcome everyone in the Cosmos. And on the verge of the end of the world, only one man can save us all. His name is Dirk Gently.

    A dysfunctional trio, a powerful pack, a missing girl, highly intelligent children, several people disappeared, a backwards clock, loads of ketchup and three words:

    Everything is connected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,560
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    293
  8. Tags
    Summary

    When vital documents are stolen from Blackwing, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency jump into action to get them before they can fall into the wrong...wronger hands.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,838
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    234
  9. Tags
    Summary

    The Rowdy 3 are taken by Blackwing once again and it's up to Amanda to find them. Without Wakti Wapnasi's help this time things go wrong and she finds herself in a strange place called Purgatory and the only person who can help her is a crazy demon with Martin's face who calls himself 'Bobo Del Rey' (Wynonna Earp x Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Crossover fic)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,263
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    146
    Kudos:
    102
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1619
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk decides it's time to go on a road trip

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,447
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    16
    Hits:
    210
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “I don’t know why I bother,” Farah offered, hoping Todd would join her in self-deprecation.

    “I’m starting to ask myself the same question,” he said slowly, flashing her a lopsided grin.

    Starting?” Dirk scoffed, punching Todd in the arm. “It’s about two months too late for that, and you sampled the goods. No take-backsies.”

    [Not related to my other fic 'verse—except that character backstories are the same, and that incidental details turn up in different configurations.]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,000
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    140
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    1014
  12. Tags
    Summary

    The sound of trouble was coming alright, but it wasn't the rumble of a gun or the click of a taser. The sound of trouble in this case was a soft giggle, followed by a whimpering noise from the front seat. Cross darted forwards into the gap between the two seats, returning after a moment holding a wriggling, small human wearing an oversized grey t-shirt.

    Dirk and Todd get visited by the Rowdies, who deposit a de-aged Martin and Amanda on their doorstep.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,633
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    377
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Best friends Bee & Amanda move into a house with three guys. They’re a little odd, but nice enough -- though they do seem rather haunted by the accident their mysterious fourth roommate was in. In fact, the entire house seems a little haunted, especially to Amanda, who keeps catching glimpses of the ghostly figure of a man with white hair.

    As the girls settle in, the five housemates get to know each other, growing ever closer. Meanwhile, they’re dealing with a mysterious break-in; living in a haunted house; not one, but two surprise pets; and the guys’ grief over the loss of their friend. And Martin? Martin’s dealing with being a ghost, a ghost who can see and hear what goes on in the house, but who can’t do anything to help at all... or can he?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,779
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    90
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    184
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Jaws chirped and dashed out of the kitchenette just as Todd finished tying his belt. She snagged the hem of his robe and climbed, dead-weight at intervals, until Todd could stick the bulb in his sole remaining empty pocket and sling her over his shoulder. Jaws hung there, purring.

    “Baby girl,” he whispered into her fur, horrified at how contagious Dirk’s epithets had proved. “Wanna help me find something? I probably lost it, and Dirk will never forgive me.”

    Mrrr, Jaws trilled, which was her standard response to anything out of Todd’s mouth.

    “Yeah, okay,” Todd sighed, offloading her on his desk once they’d reached it. “Thought not.”

    [Anons and commenters keep prompting additions to this. These are a string of outtakes off the end of Home Is Where It Starts.]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,000
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    64
    Kudos:
    113
    Hits:
    638
  15. Tags
    Summary

    It’s a rare, quiet morning at the Agency, and Farah is enjoying it immensely when the door opens and in come two of the Rowdy 3. The others, including their van, have disappeared in a flash of blue light and now Gripps and Cross are turning to the only holistic detective they know to help find their family and bring them back.

    Meanwhile, it seems like the whole area has gone Area 51, because there’s strange lights in the sky, lightbulbs that won’t stop flickering, mysterious disappearances, and a sudden resurgence of crop circles. Tina & Hobbs investigate a missing cow while communicating with the Agency through Snapchat, Friedkin is up to something, Assistent is an alien conspiracist and he’s been talking to some ex-cop about soul-swapping..?

    My contribution to the DGHDA Big Bang!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,236
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    81
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    258
  16. Tags
    Summary

    “While I’m not entirely down with the Grease reference, I appreciate the sentiment,” Dirk told Amanda. He tilted his chin up against Todd’s shoulder, looking Todd in the eye as best he could from such an awkward angle. “I’ve cracked what’s happening case-wise.”

    “You mean not happening case-wise?” Todd asked, worming his hand behind Dirk so he could put his arm around him. “None of these leads are viable. Even the realtor’s pest-control thing was a first-three-months standard courtesy. I checked with other clients of theirs.”

    “We’re trying too hard,” Dirk said. “We had two major cases come so fast and furious that we’re expecting the next one to behave the same way. What if it doesn’t? What if the most pressing concern is the one we’ve stumbled into by accident, but nonetheless agreed upon unanimously?”

    “I didn’t agree to you nerds putting a ring on it,” said Amanda, but in jest. “I have concerns.”

    “Yeah, well,” said Todd, sticking the correct earbud in his left ear, “unanimous means two.”

    *
    ...or: Todd gets no fewer than four different versions of one shovel talk, and he's fucking sick of it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    100
    Hits:
    577
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk pushed past [Farah], taking the remaining stairs two at a time. He opened the front door and stepped onto the porch, only to halt in his tracks at the sight of a familiar van.

    Amanda stood with her elbow propped on the mailbox, leisurely smoking. She saluted him.

    “Hey, so,” she said, taking a final drag before pitching the joint, “congrats on accomplishing what every horny, stoned groupie between here and Chicago used to dream of.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,200
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    128
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    821
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Vogel finds a file while runmaging through the van, and learns he has a living relative. The only course of action he can think of is to visit her and learn the truth about his past.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,075
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    100
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Role-swap AU - Martin has pararibulitus, Amanda is a very rowdy energy vampire.

    Martin goes to stay at the Ridgley and takes a ride in the Oh No Van.

    “We are Chaos,” her fey smile glittered. “We break things.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,132
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    31
    Hits:
    228
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Role-swap AU where Amanda Brotzman is an energy vampire and Martin is a shut-in with a nerve disease.

    When Amanda and her Rowdy Boys save him from a public pararibulitus attack, Martin’s life is doomed to get a lot more interesting.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,817
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    249

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