Tattoos as a Form of Self Harm
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Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Deadpool - All Media Types, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
11 Nov 2018
Peter Parker got his first tattoo after Uncle Ben died, a spider inked over the bite mark that had ruined his life. It was an admission of guilt, something permanent to remind him of what he'd done, what he'd never forgive himself for.
It is his first tattoo, but it isn't his last.
Everyone that he didn't save is tattooed on Peter's skin from his ankles to his waist. A big one for Gwen, a tiny for a security guard that maybe hadn't been Peter's fault but he felt guilty anyway. Over and over, dozens and dozens of spiders until Peter is almost covered, drowning in guilt and the anger of not being good enough to save them all.
Then he meets Deadpool, and the mercenary shows him that for every life he couldn't save, there are more that he did. Busloads of kids. A mom snatched away from a runaway taxi. A store saved from a gunman.
Now Peter gets tattoos for another reason, each spider proof of the lives he's saved, something permanent so he won't forget all the good he's done, black ink to remind him on the dark days that he's enough.
And as Peter heals, as he learns to cope with Wade at his side, he finally starts to believe it.
- Part 32 of Short Stories!