1 - 20 of 268 Works in Suicidal Dean Winchester

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    At nearly 40, Dean is ready to die in peace.
    Well, not so much peace as pleasure. He's on a mission to find his last great lay.

    Through an undesirable turn of events, he meets a gorgeous kindergarten teacher, but is Sam Campbell saint enough to fulfill a man's dying wish?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,976
    Chapters:
    51/?
    Comments:
    106
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1835
  2. Tags
    Summary

    READ THE NOTES AT THE BEGINNING OF THE STORY
    "His life always seemed quite normal. There never was anything happening that people would describe as exciting or something close. He was a stoner and friends with a punk but that didn’t change the fact that his life always had something boring to it. And there were days he wished something exiting would happen, no matter what but at the same time he hoped for his life to stay the way it was because it seemed quite perfect.
    What didn’t fit his life where the sounds and smells of the emergency room of the hospital he was currently in."

    [They more or less were like on of the typical gay couples you could see in college. The ones that didn't follow clichès but nevertheless still did. Life seemed perfect until one action and it's resulting phone call took all of it away with one sentence, "Cas, he attempted suicide."]

    The title is from the song "I Miss you" by "Blink-182":
    ""I Miss You” is one of Blink-182’s most iconic tracks, it serves as a haunting depiction of the effect depression can have on a relationship and its subsequent fallout."

    ((slow updates cause I'll uploade every chapter right after writing. But writing takes its time))

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,022
    Chapters:
    2/30
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    306
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Dean doesn’t believe in happy endings. But he comes to accept that good things do happen.

     

     

    So begins his secret ritual.
    Every night, he goes into Cas’s bedroom. He does this, he thinks, to torture himself.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,386
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    65
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    545
  4. Tags
    Summary

    How far would you go to protect the one you love most?

    For Dean Winchester, it's no question.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,430
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    141
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Sam tries to get Dean to talk.

    ***

    Over the years, Sam had witnessed things. Things he knew that Dean wouldn’t want him to see, so he’d never remarked on them before. But maybe Dean needed to talk about it. Needed to talk about the way he would caress Cas’s face before a battle. To talk about the way he would tilt his head down for Cas to lay the benediction of his lips on his forehead.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,050
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    170
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    907
  6. Tags
    Summary

    6 months after their so called "victory", Dean takes the ultimate decision.
    It's time for the last hunt of his life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    541
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    16
    Hits:
    215
  7. Tags
    Summary

    After returning from The Empty, Castiel is unable to reach Dean, so he calls Sam and asks to be picked up by the brothers.

    He knows Sam well enough to know that something is very wrong.

    In which Dean manages to actually kill himself in 13x05 Advanced Thanatology. Please mind the tags.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,923
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    429
  8. Tags
    Summary

    What started as a collection of drabbles exploring the idea that Dean and Cas had a sexual relationship prior to 15x18. Now has a plot of its own. Very angsty due to canon-compliance.

    Not every chapter is explicit; they are tagged individually. Each chapter is around 2k words.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,523
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    106
    Kudos:
    255
    Bookmarks:
    58
    Hits:
    4221
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Dean reminisces about the complicated relationship he had with his father. The good, the bad, and everything in between about how John shaped his eldest son to become what he is. Set sometime in Season 7.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    956
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    14
    Hits:
    69
  10. Tags
    Summary

    What if no crossroads demon had made a deal with Dean after Sam died in Season 2? Under the orders of Azazel, who decided he wanted to have some fun by torturing Dean in a really twisted and fucked-up way, a witch approaches Dean and offers him a spell that can make his deepest desires come true. He only has to die for it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,500
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    94
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Slow burn. Much angst. Much fluff. Original Canon Universe. Season 15 fix-it-fic.

    WARNING: do not read in public, unless you are okay with sobbing around other people.

    Sam is tired of it. Tired of the staring contests and the eye-sex and the 'standing two inches apart' thing. With a little help from Rowena and Heller-Queen-Charlie, Sam becomes the matchmaker: and tries to make his ship canon.

    Meanwhile, Cas is hiding a secret, and Dean is hiding his feelings. Until one night, when their long-awaited happiness becomes their greatest sorrow.

    Written in the original canon universe, this fic uses many canon scenes from the series to show that Destiel doesn't need fanfiction to be real. It has always been there, it will always be there, and it is REAL.

    Charlie:
    tumblr: charlies-secret-closet
    twitter: @peaceoutHELLERS

    Jupiticas:
    tumblr: jupiticas
    twitter: @jupiticas

    Extra Note from Blu: I didn't start writing/beta'ing until Chapter 22, so this fic is, for the most part, Charlie's. Thanks!!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    96,466
    Chapters:
    29/29
    Collections:
    8
    Comments:
    633
    Kudos:
    460
    Bookmarks:
    107
    Hits:
    11113
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Dean Winchester has hit rock bottom and can only see one end to his story. Cameron is driving down the road late at night when they see a man on the side of the road. They pull over to see if the man is okay and that choice will change everything. They're just two damaged strangers trying everything to keep each other alive.

    If you're wondering whether or not to make that final choice, just wait one more hour.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,676
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    258
  13. Tags
    Summary

    in which dean and sam go to church and recite prayers.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    592
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    34
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Dean learned his lesson early on:

    “If you want to survive, keep it down. Whatever you do, whatever you are, just make sure nobody has to see it. If nobody knows, you’ll be safe. If nobody sees, you’ll be fine.”

    And so he lived. Even if he wasn’t honest or free or happy, at least he could be fine. At least he survived.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    630
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    51
    Hits:
    366
  15. Tags
    Summary

    While torturing Alastair for the angels, the demon flips the script and Dean finds himself tied up at Alastairs mercy again which causes flashbacks of his time in hell. As always his angel swoops in and saves the day, but recovery is harder than Dean thought it would be, not that he would ever admit that. Luckily he has a very patient Cas by his side, until he doesn’t.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,568
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1075
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Sam dies. Dean does not deal.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,100
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    143
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    747
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Sam tells Dean that he’s glad that he didn’t go through with the plan to spend eternity in the Ma’lak box on the bottom of the ocean. Dean confesses that Michael was not the only reason for him to take himself off the board.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,960
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    396
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “Maybe I can bring him back.”

    “You can what?” Dean couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Those words had starred in every dream of his that wasn’t a nightmare since Cas died.

    “If Chuck could get Lucifer out of The Empty, I should be able to get Cas out.”

    “Well, why haven’t you!”

    “I'm not sure how to. I woke Cas up in The Empty, before, but he got himself kicked out. And I was only a baby then. I don’t remember how I did it. This is more difficult. Let me focus.”

    ***

    Post-canon fix-it, divergent from 15x19 where Jack stays and Dean doesn't die and Cas comes back and everyone is happy. Take a shot every time I'm salty about the finale. If you spot any errors, or want me to add any tags, let me know and I'll fix them. I'll add content warnings in the end notes of any chapters that contain them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,742
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    248
    Bookmarks:
    53
    Hits:
    3921
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Dean's fine. Sam's half out of his mind with Lucifer hallucinations, everyone else he's ever cared about is dead. But really, he's fine, so stop asking.
    -or-
    Dean hits his breaking point after Sam kills Emma.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,312
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    336
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Dean Winchester could not believe that his best friend, Castiel was confessing his feelings of love towards him.
    But the message does settle in by the 4th or so time that he hears it.
    15x18 time loop.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,379
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    84
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1105

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