1 - 20 of 322 Works in Suicidal Dean Winchester

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    "Truth is, he’s winging it and faking it and hoping he makes it. If there was anything he could do to take back everything that culminated in the most important person in his life feeling like he’s not even on a "loved ones" list, he would, in a heartbeat. But they haven’t exactly made a card that read “Sorry I repeatedly left you and betrayed you and mistreated you, I do totally love you tho”. Distantly, Sam wonders if he’s the only human being on the planet to have fucked up this badly this way before, and sincerely hopes so."

    Dean gets hit with a truth spell, at a moment where both lies and honesty have shaken his and Sam's relationship to the point neither feels safe and secure in their bond as brothers, let alone lovers. Will a dead witch with a chip on her shoulder succeed in breaking apart what neither heaven nor hell could separate?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,546
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    8
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Dean Winchester is a known and feared serial killer on a self-destructive mission of revenge, seeking the murderers of his younger brother. While tracking down his brother's killers, he meets Agent Castiel Novak, a renowned private investigator sent to investigate and hunt down the Righteous man. But as soon as the two get to know each other, a profound bond begins to spark…

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,814
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    200
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Dean faces the terrible memories of all that he did while he had the mark. And he feels regret, so much of it that he can’t take it anymore and tries to commit. Can Sam and Cas save him?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    479
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    59
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Dean Winchesters attempts suicide on a dirty motel bathtub, ending brain dead on a hospital. A trickster promises John and Sam that he will save him for “free”, as long as they both get through watching a series of Dean´s memories, good and bad. The twist is that they will feel everything Dean did at the time and they can stop it at any time, but then Dean will die. They both accept thinking it cant be that bad. Spoiler: it is worse.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    60,232
    Chapters:
    25/?
    Comments:
    476
    Kudos:
    939
    Bookmarks:
    138
    Hits:
    26171
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Dean takes another slow drag, then passes the cigarette to John. John hasn’t smoked in years, but damn if he didn’t miss the heat in his throat.
    Dean lays his head on John’s shoulder, leaning into him. His hand clutches at John’s shirt, like a lost child.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    990
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    185
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Stanford Era - Six Months Before Canon - Alternate Universe....

    Dean felt pretty empty inside these days, going through the motions, killing monster after monster, and getting what in return? Nothing. Yeah, he gets that satisfaction of saving lives, but that satisfaction always disappears after awhile. Loneliness seeps in from time to time, but he tries to ignore it, and tries to ignore the fact that his little brother has gotten out of this hunter lifestyle, and he's still stuck in it where there's no light at the end of the tunnel for him... or so he thought.

    He's found a simple ghost case in a town called Smallville, Kansas, so he goes through the motions... again to go there and get rid of it. One night at a restaurant, he meets these gorgeous blue, vivid eyes, and his body reacts inappropriately - luckily, his dark jeans cover it up. No woman has ever made him feel like his body's been set ablaze, let alone... a man. Yet, this one did. They keep eye contact until two women and a man at his table grab his reluctant attention next to him, releasing the hold that he had on Dean. Dean didn't know at that moment, his fate was sealed and the whole world's fate was sealed, too.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,464
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    2291
  7. Tags
    Summary

    “Cas- please turn on your ears, please my angel- please listen... You know I’m not one for praying, ‘cuz in my book it’s the same as begging, but- I can’t keep going on like this, it’s too damn hard. Sammy- Sammy’s worried, but he shouldn’t be. I haven’t even told him about what happened yet, I just can’t. It can’t be real… you can’t be gone.”

    Following Castiel’s death, Dean reacts in a way that not only puts his life on the line but brings back a certain someone.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,391
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    65
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    726
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Dean has decided he’s had enough. Can Castiel help him find the good things in life or will Dean decide that not even Cas can keep him here?

     

    Probably gonna write a better summary later.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,892
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    171
  9. Tags
    Summary

    In which Amara doesn't bring back Mary, she brings back John Winchester.

    Dean is uncertain what Amara's meaning is when she brings John back, and struggles with coming to terms with the new family dynamic. Sam tries harder to keep the peace than he used to, and Cas does not get along with John at all- though he tries. Testosterone is at an all-time high as these four men struggle to coexist in the hunting world with very different ideologies.

    We explore just how much the brothers have changed in the ten years without their father's guidance, the trauma they still haven't resolved, and the feelings that Dean and Cas hold for one another despite the very real and new barrier that is John.

    This story begins 12x01 and ends around 13x06

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    412,214
    Chapters:
    21/26
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    408
    Kudos:
    726
    Bookmarks:
    239
    Hits:
    33027
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Cas is dead, Chuck is defeated and Jack has gone off to do whatever it is new Gods do.

    Devoid of purpose and having lost all hope, Dean spirals until a cast-off case perks his interest. Cult activity isn't usually their kind of thing but when said cult insists that God wears a trenchcoat, Dean can't help himself. Ditching Sam to go check it out alone isn't his best idea but what else is he supposed to do?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,878
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    114
    Kudos:
    195
    Bookmarks:
    59
    Hits:
    2617
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Prince Dean Winchester of Denmark is grieving. His brother, Sam, died a mere month before he was due to take the throne from his father. When his best friend Charlie tells him that Sam's ghost is wandering the ramparts of the castle, Dean decides to see for himself. What will he do when he discovers the true nature of his brother's demise?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,554
    Chapters:
    10/17
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    283
  12. Tags
    Summary

    [Season 15 Spoilers]

    Cas dies, Dean is not okay with that, sadness ensues.

    Content warning: Suicidal ideation (sort of)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    763
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    105
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Dean can’t deal with his baby brother, Sammy, dying. So he doesn’t.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    297
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    135
  14. Tags
    Summary

    (I sadly deleted the prompt by accident, also didn't memorize the prompt-giver, because I am nutty like that).

    PROMPT:
    ... was something including Sam suffering under domestic abuse by Nick/Lucifer and Dean to the rescue-sort of.

    Well, I turned Dean into a Demon, who is on the hunt for the Colt, so he is able to lay his weary head to rest, by putting a bullet in it.
    But before this can happen, Alistair must die.
    His plans get screwed up, when Sam steps into his life and turns it upside down - not only with Pie.

    Sam's in a relationship with Nick since a couple of years - It’s been nice at the beginning, but then they moved in together and Nick started to become abusive.
    They run a small diner.
    His life gets screwed up, when -one day - Dean turns up at the diner and starts eye-fucking Sam.

    There is going to be some Castiel, Bobby and sprinkles of Alistair.
    A clusterfuck of emotions for Dean.
    Quite some hurt for Sam.
    And a whole lot of swearwords, because Dean's got a filthy mouth.

    Oh, maybe I should mention the wicked spell/curse too ...

    yup, guess, I STILL SUCK AT SUMMARIES.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    227,616
    Chapters:
    78/78
    Comments:
    487
    Kudos:
    269
    Bookmarks:
    40
    Hits:
    9911
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Dean finds himself getting lonely and missing Sam. So, he goes to visit. But as soon as he shows up, he realizes that Sam isn't excited to see him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,956
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    75
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    1628
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Nobody could bring Cas back, Dean was told.
    But when he lost all hope, someone showed him a way out of misery.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,929
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    280
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Dean Winchester was raised to be a soldier. He had to be a father, a mother, and a brother to Sammy. With no time to himself, Dean is forced to resort to *other* methods of coping. These habits, starting from his childhood, leak into his future, impacting his relationship with a specific angel who wants nothing more than to save the wayward son. - the last chapter is a finale fix-it!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,631
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    118
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    2791
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “And his moment of happiness was telling you that he loves you,” Charlie said, the puzzle clicking into place.
    “Yeah.”
    “I’m sorry, so how we gonna get him back?” Charlie asked seeing that as the next logical step.
    “What!” he said slamming on the brakes so hard, out of shock, that if they weren’t in heaven, they both would have cracked their heads open on the dash. In heaven though they barely went forward.

    ***

    Heaven is bland and depressing, when people are missing. Dean dies and goes to heaven, reunites with Charlie, who wants to save Cas even though he knows it isn't possible... She recruits Ash, who in turn recruits Jo, together they convince Dean to come with them. Sending them on the journey of a life time through the afterlives, interacting with past faces... facing their worst fears, and "dying" a few times along the way.

    Or the one where, Dean is sad in denial, Charlie is bored and still wants her adventure, there is a reason Ash stays back and does research, and Jo is just along for the ride.

    Basically Dean still dies and it all goes haywire from there...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,924
    Chapters:
    2/20
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    126
  19. Tags
    Summary

    He really didn't want to die. His mind did though. Dean just wanted the voice echoing in his head to shut up but, of course, he can't get that wish. So, he learns to live with it. Sam drags him to therapy, he takes his meds, he does whatever he can to help himself.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,185
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    737
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Day 15 - Hidden Scars

    Mac finds a healed scar that brings forward concerns.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,822
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    474

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