1 - 20 of 124 Works in Snarky Draco Malfoy

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    All it takes is one look in a mirror and an ill-advised attempt to shatter it, before an embittered Draco Malfoy fresh out of Azkaban is sent back into his body on the day he gets his Hogwarts letter.

    Suddenly, Draco has an unwanted second chance, with a Sorting Hat that doesn't know what to do with him, a certain Muggleborn who won't leave his study table alone, and green eyes he just can't get out of his head. And then there's his new wand, whose choice of him could just mark him as every bit as dark a wizard as his name means he should be.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    79,204
    Chapters:
    16/18
    Comments:
    213
    Kudos:
    577
    Bookmarks:
    127
    Hits:
    9297
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Adventure in the dramatic, tragic and probably fun journey Harry and Ron experienced in 1991. It was their first year at Hogwarts, however, the safest place may not be as safe as it's thought. Moreover, Draco has his own journey too!

    Or, AU where the Death Eaters are almost everywhere around the Wizarding World and our main characters have to live between the chaos of it. Harry and Ron go to Slytherin. Lucius is actually a good father and Draco goes to Durmstrang.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,041
    Chapters:
    7/30
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1167
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Draco was raised on a farm in the small country of Witshire; his favourite pastimes were flying on his broom and tormenting the hired farm boy. Though his name was Harry, Draco never called him that. On Harry's forehead there was a scar shaped like a lightning bolt, so Draco called him Scarhead.

    Nothing gave Draco as much pleasure as ordering Harry around

    Or a story about fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, True Love, and miracles.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,917
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    829
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Draco was lying still, and pale, on a bed in a private room in St Mungo’s. The sheets were white, clean, enchanted against stains, vanishing the blood that kept spilling out of him. He hadn’t moved in two days. Not a twitch of his elegant fingers. Not a blink of his fierce eyes. Harry couldn’t even see the faint flutter of his pulse in his throat from where he stood at the foot of the bed, helpless, impotent, furious.

     

    ---

    There is nothing Harry wouldn’t do for the people he cares about. As it turns out, that might bring him everything he’s ever wanted.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    1055
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Hermione just wants to relax in her favorite armchair in the library after a long day but Draco Malfoy has other plans. Fluffy, smutty oneshot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,281
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    109
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    2118
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Harry has decided to show Draco the Star Wars movies. Draco of course is typical Draco and very unsure of this business.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    867
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    327
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Hermione Granger has been in love with Theodore Nott for years with no reciprocation so she reluctantly enlists Draco Malfoy for help seducing him and, naturally, chaos ensues. Never trust a Gryffindor with a Slytherin plan. Oneshot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,675
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    77
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    987
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Harry's absolutely sure it's Malfoy's fault that they are stuck reliving the same day over and over.

    Harry is good at his job. He's professional, has an excellent closure rate, and is a well-respected Auror. Malfoy's the unprofessional one with his snark and his judgemental eyebrows and his far too-posh-for-work robes. If Malfoy could have managed to refrain from being a pain in the arse, everything would have been just fine. They wouldn’t have gotten in yet another argument, Harry wouldn’t have been distracted, and Harry certainly wouldn’t have accidentally set off a powerful artifact at their crime scene.

    And if Malfoy would just get out of his way now, Harry's sure he can quickly fix this so they can get back to their comfortable professional dislike of one another.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    68,967
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    130
    Kudos:
    668
    Bookmarks:
    132
    Hits:
    7917
  9. Tags
    Summary

    "Once upon a midnight Drarry, while I penned some snark from Harry..."

    Yeah, I'm not kidding. I rewrote all 18 stanzas into a Drarry short - come read some meter and boys kissing!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,155
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    105
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Harry's been taking some time off after the war to find himself, but when McGonagall offers him a position as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, he decides it's time to reenter society. He just doesn't expect that his reentry will involve Draco Malfoy - the new flight instructor at Hogwarts!

    And seeing Malfoy as a glorified "gym teacher" is hilarious...until it's not. Harry's starting to feel weird, his heart is racing, and he's not quite sure he can figure out what it all means while keeping his students in line.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    143,381
    Chapters:
    38/38
    Comments:
    509
    Kudos:
    539
    Bookmarks:
    96
    Hits:
    8287
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Sick of surreptitiously snogging Malfoy in the Ministry of Magic’s storage cupboards, Harry accidentally opens Pandora’s box on pureblood succession planning, home ownership and hands of glory.

    A one shot based on the Draco/Harry in "Christmas Party Confessional" featuring snarky Draco, hopelessly addicted Harry and everyone's favourite screaming portrait.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,022
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    73
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    640
  12. Tags
    Summary

    It was ridiculous. It was pathetic. And he was sure that it shouldn’t bother him as much.
    But it did.
    And it was getting worse.
    As Malfoy smirked, Harry felt his final nerve snap.
    "How's the boy who—"
    “—DON’T CALL ME THAT!” Then, as Draco blinked in surprise, he continued. "It’s just not me!”
    Malfoy frowned.
    "So what are you, Potter?
    And wasn't that the question...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,045
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    293
    Bookmarks:
    54
    Hits:
    2228
  13. Tags
    Summary

    "How is it Potter can manage to drive me crazy and yet make me want to help him? I have to have lost my mind to even consider this insanity."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,966
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    68
    Kudos:
    907
    Bookmarks:
    191
    Hits:
    6039
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Draco malfoy is alone and on his first train ride to Hogwarts. He is looking for someone to share his macarons with but no one seems worthy of his precious confection, that is, until a bossy little girl (a riot, he’ll tell you!) comes banging into his compartment.

    *DRAMIONE FIRST MEETING*

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,119
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    418
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Harry is tired of walking in on Ron and Hermione in various states of undress. But since Pansy recently moved in with Ginny there’s another room available. The fact that the room in question is in the same flat where Malfoy lives shouldn’t cause any problems. Right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,057
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    172
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1130
  16. Tags
    Summary

    After a mistake in Potions leaves Malfoy stuck as a female, Harry tries his best not to let Malfoy or his poncy skirt distract him. It shouldn't be too challenging... but first he has to make it through breakfast.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,352
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    350
    Bookmarks:
    76
    Hits:
    3567
  17. Tags
    Summary

    A birth, a death, and a former friend's fate. Harry Potter has an eventful few weeks, to say the least.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,790
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    2086
  18. Tags
    Summary

    For 200 Chocolate Frogs, the Slytherins can arrange for magical nudes that move to be smuggled into the castle.

     

    Ron Weasley wanted some. By Godric, he wanted one in particular. And he was going to get it, Slytherins be damned.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,236
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    132
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Draco Malfoy lives a simple life. Go to college, throw some snark at resident golden boy Harry Potter and his homophobic posse, judge the remainder of the living population with Pansy, go home, jack off to aforementioned golden boy in the shower, crawl into bed with a book and a cup of tea. Rinse and repeat.

    Until he and Potter get stuck in a closet together, and things get a whole lot less simple.

    Really quickly.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,569
    Chapters:
    16/21
    Comments:
    708
    Kudos:
    3870
    Bookmarks:
    765
    Hits:
    69583
  20. Tags
    Summary

    It started with a spider.
    In the middle of a supposedly normal Tuesday afternoon, with nothing but studying with Ron in the Library ahead of him, Harry was making his way back to the Eighth Year dorm to grab some extra parchment and a book he knew they’d need, perfectly relaxed and happy. Of course, he wasn’t particularly looking forward to the 12-inch essay he had to write for potions, but he was happy enough. But of course, that was all about to change. Why did nothing ever happen the way it was supposed to when it involved Draco Malfoy?!

     

    It's Eighth Year and Harry is perfectly enjoying just focusing on his work and recovering from years of trauma, thank you very much. But a spider in the dorm (which is quickly removed) prompts an unlikely encounter with none other than Draco Malfoy, and from that day on, nothing is quite the same...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,008
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    81
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    953

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