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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Whenever I see DJ being so carefree around food, a pit in my own stomach forms.  Part of me wishes that I could be like that again, but it seems like it’s impossible.  DJ’s just sitting here, shoving down whatever food the caterers set out for us, and then there’s me... Feeling internally stoic, tense, and uncomfortable.  Just being in the presence of food is enough to give me the nervous jitters.

    **Follow the ups and downs of recovery through this collection of one-offs from the "Relief" AU... including "deleted" scenes from "Relief" & "You Have Come To The Right Place" or drabbles I've come up with that are are not in the exact timeframe of either. They are NOT in any particular order! Timelines will be signified in the author's notes.***

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    66,828
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    66
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    148
  2. Tags
    Summary

    "You feelin' comfy, buddy?"

    I can hear DJ's soothing, yet goofy voice from next to me.  I smirk, as I curl myself tighter into the ball I'm in.  

    "I'm fuckin' fried, dude."

    It hurts to talk a little because of how much talking I've done today, and also because of how raw my throat feels from the chronic purging, but I really want to try to cherish the time I have with these two before they're kicked outta here.

    I can hear a light laugh coming from DJ, as he pats my back.  "That's why you're here."  He smirks playfully.  "Everyone's gonna help ya, James.  You won't feel so fried from small things forever, I promise."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    116,260
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    93
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    291
  3. Tags
    Summary

    So we're in the middle of the dare or truth game.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,330
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    79
  4. Tags
    Summary

    If DJ views the world through brightness and vibrancy, I do the opposite. My body can’t hold onto happiness or pleasure. My brain can’t latch onto that. I’m weaved into a knot of desensitization; numbness.

    I don’t feel anything. Yet, I feel everything.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,649
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    16
  5. Tags
    Summary

    A special day.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,215
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    88
  6. Tags
    Summary

    There’s rare moments where I can actually see what Nikki and DJ see... That I look sick. Right now is one of those times.

    My skin has no color to it and my hair has thinned a ridiculous amount. Since I’m only wearing my white ribbed undershirt, I can see how much I’ve actually deteriorated. My ribs poke out, my chest bones are showing. Bones are popping out where they shouldn’t be. My eyes are sunken and it’s obvious that I don’t sleep because I have the worst dark circles I’ve ever seen on anybody.

    I look like absolute hell.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    178,518
    Chapters:
    38/38
    Comments:
    156
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    951
  7. Tags
    Summary

    James goes to Las Vegas to see his DJ

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    673
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    22
  8. Tags
    Summary

    There’s a part of me, deep down, that longs for human connection and comfort from other people.  That part of me is dug so deep into the depths of my soul, so I hardly hear it come out.  When it does decide to come out, it sounds soft and fragile; almost child-like.  It sounds like an innocent, lost, broken, confused person; someone who just wants guidance and direction in their life.

    Someone who just wants answers.

    Usually, I feel the most comfortable when I’m alone, but right now I don’t.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,032
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    21
  9. Tags
    Summary

    DJ and James and a night in the hotel.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    960
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    86
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “Seriously... That’s the reason why you want to celebrate Mardi Gras?”

    Nikki is rolling his eyes at DJ like a wise father who’s had to put up with his child’s antics for way too long. The relationship between those two just never gets old. They’ll always be heckle and jeckle.

    “To see topless women?!”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,335
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    23
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Underneath my skin
    Holding on to
    The sweet escape
    Is always laced with a
    Familiar taste
    Of poison

    Inspired by "Familiar Taste of Poison" by Halestorm

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,153
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    15
  12. Tags
    Summary

    DJ’s voice is playing in the back of my head. His concerned, sad, child-like tone of voice... The voice that sends me into a guilt-ridden tornado of inner turmoil and desperation.

    “Why does your mind hate your body so much? Did your body ever hurt you?”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,496
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    41
  13. Tags
    Summary

    "It hurts so bad that the only time you allow yourself to be comforted and loved is when you’re not aware of anything... You weren’t there, and you couldn’t feel me... But I felt you... I felt your weak pulse, and I felt your bones... Fuck.

    All I felt were your bones."

    **Watching someone struggle with their demons hurts... Sometimes releasing the baggage through writing is a cathartic way to get it out***

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,475
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    57
  14. Tags
    Summary

    You know what it feels like to be out of your body?

    Everything happens so fast and you’re not even fully aware of what you’re doing until it’s too late... It doesn’t hit you until after the fact... You’re just frozen in shock and slight terror, until everything comes crashing down and you’re back to reality.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,995
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    45
  15. Tags
    Summary

    “He has a problem, DJ.”

    I feel like i just got stabbed with a dagger right into my heart. It’s not like I didn’t know he had a problem, but just hearing it said out loud just makes it r e a l. I can’t push it away any-more. It’s out in the open now. It’s revealed. It’s a fact, and I don’t like that because that means I can’t run away from it.

    That’s all I want to fuckin’ do right now.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,649
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    50
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Papa Roach, Mötley Crüe and Sixx: A.M are touring together when their bus breaks down. Looking for some help, they find an old warehouse that's not at friendly as it seems. Let's just say their lives go downhill very, very quickly ...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,255
    Chapters:
    9/26
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    428
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Just outside from Los Angeles is the "Youngblood Hospital - Psychiatric Institution for Adolescents".

    When Frank comes there after a suicide attempt, he's not impressed by the pure thought of being surrounded by teenagers, after his experiences in any school, in life. But the doctors don't see a better way to help him.

    The patients (especially Gerard) try to get Frank to open up more, to feel safer and to get through. The same they want for any other kid there. And the doctors wanna help as well though sometimes you might doubt that they really are professionals ...

    Throughout the story, many different band members will come in the psychiatry that is very empty in the beginning due to just being opened. The point of view will change every chapter, but the main person is Frank Iero throughout the whole plot.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,083
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    78
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    1903
  18. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,322
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    238
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Eve is your typical 16 year old girl except for the fact that she lives in an orphanage. One day something amazing happens, what is it that could potentially change her life forever? Read and find out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,499
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    589
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Kaz has a bet for Hyde, on he can't ignore. Can he bed Nikki before the tours over or not?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,347
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    852

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