1 - 20 of 90 Works in Sassy Harry Potter

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Potter was not having a good day. Struck by lightning, chased by 'giants', becoming trapped in Devil's Snare and nearly ending up an Acromantula's pre-dinner appetiser, are all very bad things. And he is now living in the Slytherin dorms. It says something about his life that he isn't really all that surprised by the events of the last twenty-four hours. It's a wonder he hasn't gone barmy before now. It really is.

    It also should be taken under advisement, that Draco Malfoy should NOT be allowed to name things. EVER.

    And what is up with Nearly Headless Nick and the other ghosts? Why is someone going around polyjuiced as Harry? Why do they smell like radishes? And do they HAVE to suck on so many sugar quills?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,347
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    83
    Kudos:
    361
    Bookmarks:
    113
    Hits:
    3207
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Harry James Potter, Boy-Who-Lived, Chosen One, etc. is a squib with no knowledge of the magical world. By general consensus, he is most useful as potions ingredients.

    General consensus being unanimous agreement by everyone except one Harry James Potter. But who cares about his opinion anyway?

    (aka: Harry is having a good day, until the part where he gets teleported into a creepy graveyard with some even creepier... cult members?)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,455
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    73
    Kudos:
    208
    Bookmarks:
    48
    Hits:
    2318
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Just a bunch of Tomarry one-shots and...moreshots? I don't know, I just love this ship.

    Anyway, enjoy!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,201
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    145
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1816
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Loki saw him in Germany. Loki saw him take his last breath. Yet there he was walking like nothing ever happened.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,241
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    121
    Kudos:
    1547
    Bookmarks:
    437
    Hits:
    24763
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Iris Potter is young, small, but fierce and not easily controlled. A story of her mischief and troubles in her fourth year of Hogwarts. New tasks, humor, fem!Harry/Fleur.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    179,692
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    150
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    4963
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Harry has a dying wish, he would like the story of his life to be heard at least once, the whole truth. Not the one that was sugar-coated by the blasted headmaster. Right before his final day of living at the blasted muggles’ house Harry writes a letter, just one letter that was addressed to no one in particular. In this letter was information regarding the war, his time at Hogwarts, the manipulations of the headmaster and his friends, his home life, and last but not least where they could find his dead body. He gives the letter to Hedwig and sets off to live his last day to the fullest before he kills himself. He deserves at least one day of freedom, right? Who will get the letter, and is there hope that someone will stop Harry from committing suicide?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,318
    Chapters:
    9/10
    Comments:
    203
    Kudos:
    526
    Bookmarks:
    145
    Hits:
    7495
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Potter lives a fairly ordinary, if dull, existence. Ordinary, at least, until a demon appears in his office to make good on a deal with the Devil. The collateral? Harry's soul, of course.

     

    A Demon-AU that plays fast and loose with almost every mythology I could get my grubby little hands on.
    There is some violence, some mentions of depression and suicide (but only mentions!), a lot of snark, a lot of friendship, some breaking, some healing, and of course, some romance.

    Oh, and Kreacher is Harry's bastard cat.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,859
    Chapters:
    2/5
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    132
  8. Tags
    Summary

    It is 2019 and Harry Potter, Ex-Auror turned full-time dad and writer of magical children's books, finds himself making a startling discovery about none other than his former school rival Draco Malfoy. Just where will this relationship, rekindled over several cups of exquisite coffee, lead those two men?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    60,697
    Chapters:
    27/27
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    484
    Kudos:
    497
    Bookmarks:
    125
    Hits:
    6554
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Imagine John Constantine as a Hogwarts professor

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,457
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    259
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Albus had his plans perfectly laid out, he would use his perfectly molded hero to defeat his ultimate dark creation in a war of his design and he would be the leader of it all, cementing his position in charge of Wizarding Britain and giving him the power he needs to create a world of his design.

    He just needed The Boy Who Lived to complete them.

    What he didn't count on was the effect of the situation he put the boy in on the figure he wanted to mold his perfect hero out of and instead of a naive little boy who was eager to please and live up to expectations he got Harry Potter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,539
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    147
    Bookmarks:
    48
    Hits:
    2870
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “I bet that Harry James Potter, can reforge Tom Marvolo Riddle anew sane and whole; thus changing the course and the flow of time and outcome of the withering wizarding world so says I so mote it be.”

    Letting out a choked noise of shock the male snorts, “And if he does not you wager too much.”

    “Then I give you both Tom Marvolo Riddle and Harry James Potter to reap for your own benefits, consuming their souls would bring you joy would it not brother?”

    “Gaia you are too generous, you know not what you offer.” He frowned.

    “Or perhaps I know what you do not know, and will not see hmm?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,087
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    168
    Kudos:
    1369
    Bookmarks:
    387
    Hits:
    22372
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Harry and Draco's friends seem to know much more than them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,692
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    62
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    2031
  13. Tags
    Summary


    "What do you mean I am pregnant?" Harry asked Death "You said vampire couldn't get people pregnant and that I didn't have to look for that when you asked me for help on this mission." He glared at Death. "I clearly remember you telling me I did not need to check that Elena chick for pregnancy because she only slept with her vampire boyfriend and vampires can not procreate. And now you are saying I am pregnant even though I am a male and I slept with a vampire?"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,453
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    176
    Bookmarks:
    74
    Hits:
    2276
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Potter grew up at Number Four Privet Drive. Harry Potter has never known his parents. Harry Potter is a wizard.

    Harry Potter is not the Boy Who Lived.

    --

    The Thrown Pebble is Book One of a whole-canon reimagining wherein Neville Longbottom, not Harry Potter, was the one targeted by Voldemort. This changes many things, and other things not at all.

    (TTP is complete; the series is a WIP. Tags will be updated as chapters are posted. See series notes for more details.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    68,061
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    175
    Kudos:
    476
    Bookmarks:
    120
    Hits:
    6753
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Death warned them the dead would walk and now they were ready 17 year old Harrison Prince-Black was heading towards their summer home surrounded by wards in his way from medical school when he just had to stop and help a little boy who's mother left him. Even in another world Harry Potter has saving people issues. He meets his soul-mates and tried to get home to his parents and brothers.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,353
    Chapters:
    29/29
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    114
    Kudos:
    414
    Bookmarks:
    132
    Hits:
    8864
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Marvolo finds that cooking isn't his forte when he struggles to help Mrs Gregson. Canon Divergence. Fem Harry/Voldemort. This is a side fic to my previous one-shot 'New Beginnings.'

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    948
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    223
  17. Tags
    Summary

    George Weasley is ready for his third year his brother by his side when he runs into a little red head,Amethyst Potter is ready for her first year when she meets a red haired boy. he claims love at first sight she claims annoyance. FemHarry all 7 years

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,880
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Kudos:
    59
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    1379
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Marvolo Slytherin is the British Minister of Magic and Harriet Peverell is the mysterious woman, who had captured his heart and curiosity. Maybe, Marvolo's Fate wasn't as bad as he had initially thought. Fem Harry/Voldemort pairing. Soulmate AU. Canon Divergence.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,991
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    113
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1150
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Harry is in the wrong place at the wrong time. And so is his large group of misfits who fall into the vanishing cabinet with him.

    Turns out the vanishing cabinet is more than what its name lets on - he and his friends somehow end up in the 1940's.

    "Time travel. How bullshitingly wonderful"

    Hermione has a fit.

    "Awful things happen to Wizards who meddle with time, Harry"

    OR: Harry and Co. along with Draco and a older Slytherin male by the name of Max all hide into the vanishing cabinet to not get caught by McGonagall and Snape. It's a horrendously tight fit - but they manage. Through some sort of magic and because obviously Harry was involved and his bad luck was apparently spreading, they all get sent into the past 50 odd years or so.

    Cue the "we can all be ourselves now" theme.

    S!Harry // R!Hermione // H!Ronald // G!Neville // R!Luna // S!Draco // S!Fred // S!George // S!Max // H!Cedric

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,080
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    111
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    1018
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Harry is left to his own devices when the apocalypse hits, and he begins to talk to the animated corpses. And, no, he wasn't broken like the shattered shards of glass and bone littering the streets. Okay, maybe he was nearing that stage, but that's because surviving this madness alone was a bitch.

    Or the one in which Harry survives the apocalypse because of sheer, dumb luck.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,306
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    112
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    1993

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