1 - 20 of 33 Works in Sarcastic Remus Lupin

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Remus Lupin was proud to say that he was very normal, thank you very much.

    He was a shy ten-year-old with brown hair, hazel eyes, and a very skinny frame. He liked to read and memorize 19th-century poetry, even though he wasn't very good at memorizing things. He owned exactly seventeen socks—yes, he had counted. Frequently.

    Oh, who was he kidding? Remus Lupin was not normal whatsoever, even by wizarding standards. In fact, he was probably the most abnormal child in the area—in the country—on the continent—in the world? He wouldn't be surprised.

    Normal, his mum always said, was overrated.

    Normal, his dad always said, was a myth.

    It didn't matter what normal was, though; not really. Whatever is was, Remus Lupin wasn't it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    228,592
    Chapters:
    62/99
    Comments:
    309
    Kudos:
    227
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    6340
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Sirius get's given a wrong number, Remus definitely isn't being sarcastic, and they should probably agree to stay strangers...

    *

    Rated M for a lot of language, some sexual content but nothing too explicit, mainly jokes/flirting.
    Any TWs should be listed at the start of chapter notes, please let me know if I ever miss anything, but this is a safe fic, bar some minor Walburga angst.
    Fuck JKR <3

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    75,649
    Chapters:
    26/?
    Comments:
    367
    Kudos:
    588
    Bookmarks:
    108
    Hits:
    17165
  3. Tags
    Summary

    неизвестный номер: раз ты не гид, тогда кто?

    неизвестный номер: чувак, сделай одолжение, просто удали и заблокируй мой номер

    ИЛИ

    Сириус Блэка отшивают и дают неправильный номер, и он пишет Римусу Люпину, который на самом деле ненавидит его в реальной жизни. Или думает, что ненавидит.

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    2,855
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    10
  4. Tags
    Summary

    “Oh,” Sirius pouted. “So you haven’t dreamt about a prince on a white horse? You haven’t watched Disney as a child, have you?”

    “I don’t even know where to start describing what is wrong with what you said”, Remus chuckled quietly. “First of all, life is not a Disney movie where you sing to the birds and whooop you are in a castle, you know."
    “Second of all, all those movies are so toxic. I mean… Belle, you know what Stockholm syndrome is? That's what you have. Aurora, have you heard about active consent? Jasmine, he’s been lying to you this whole time. Mulan,”, Remus stopped for a couple of seconds, “ok, Shang wasn’t that bad and was hot as fuck and definitely pan, but that’s not actually the point.”

    “And the point is?”

    “The point is that princes are overrated and even if they were not, you being a prince is… just no.”

     
    Or

    Wolfstar Band Au-ish fic. Remus is sarcastic and just wants his embarassment to end, Sirius is smitten and just wants the curly-haired angel next to him to stay forever.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,311
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    382
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Book One of Legends Never Die

    - the risk of life -

    "In the end, we'll only regret the chances we didn't take."
    Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry.
    Children plunged into a world of prejudice and mystery.
    Loving, laughing, dying.
    Welcome to 1971, Europe.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,060
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    120
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Ремус Люпин - всемирно известный музыкант-сердцеед, а Сириус Блэк - успешный татуировщик. Судьба сводит их вместе из за неверного номера

    Я не поддерживаю Джоан Роулинг

    - рейтинг из-за явных формулировок и наводящих на размышления комментариев

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    91,068
    Chapters:
    30/32
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    97
    Hits:
    1417
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Remus Lupin is a world famous heart throb musician and Sirius Black is a successful tattoo artist. Fate brings them together by a wrong number text - texting fic

    I do not support JK Rowling

    - rated mature due to explicit language and suggestive comments

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    96,522
    Chapters:
    30/32
    Comments:
    1672
    Kudos:
    3527
    Bookmarks:
    684
    Hits:
    121834
  8. Tags
    Summary

    “Isn’t it just great to be back lads!” James declared with way too much enthusiasm for 8 am in the morning, “This year’s gonna be great I can smell it in the air!”

    “I think that’s just the rotten panini over there mate,” Sirius added cheerily, “but I’m sure I read somewhere that panini's are good omens.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,163
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    63
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1649
  9. Tags
    Summary

    "Welcome to venus cafe, what would you like to order?"

    "What's your name" that was not what he was trying to ask..

    "You could call me, John" No matter how beautiful this person was he had been rude earlier and he would not get his actual name

    "Wow you're not even gonna give him your real name? Low blow John"

    or
    Tattoo Artist Sirius (Not that it's relavant or anything but he would very much like to meet his soulmate as quickly as possible) is in a rush and needs a coffe
    Barista Remus is not up for annoying customers who claims they're i a rush and needs to be served first.
    Or another soulmate au where your soulmates name appears on your wrist and all you have to do is 1, meet them. 2, introduce yourself. Two gay idiots somehow fails with the easier step

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,040
    Chapters:
    2/5
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    630
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “In music legato means to connect each note smoothly without much articulation between notes.”
    A story of two silly boys falling in love during University through the method of drunk karaoke, just dance and friendship

    WOLFSTAR FIC (background Jily and Dorlene)

    Rated M for language and possible scenes in future.

    Remus' POV

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    93,373
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    104
    Kudos:
    96
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    3234
  11. Tags
    Summary

    texting fic where the marauders go to a performing arts high school and sirius is a ballet dancer and remus is a musician.

    oh also wrong # ig.

    oh! and they hate each other in real life.

    no sexual content just mature for swearing and stuff

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,175
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    84
    Kudos:
    186
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    5415
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Moving into the Potters house was the best decision Sirius had ever made. Summer break coming to an end, new changes are being made and new people coming into others lives. In this case, a very tall, pale, sweater wearing, welsh, boy. Communicating through signs balanced on windows, and notes, while boarder-line stalking the boy- they become close, and look forward to the casual conversations.

    or

    Sirius gay panics over his hot neighbour

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,188
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    81
    Kudos:
    290
    Bookmarks:
    44
    Hits:
    4719
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Remus is a new kid, 5th year at Hogwarts. Sirius cannot stop himself from being intrigued. Canon-divergence in a couple of ways.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,581
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    334
  14. Tags
    Summary

    One day Sirius decides to go shopping at the campus' record store. He sees a very pretty guy standing behind the counter cashing someone out. He texts James, his best friend, as he's in urgent need of calming down..

    padfoot: JAMES

    prongs: Sirius, my love?

    padfoot: THERE IS THIS REALLY *HOT* WORKER AT THE RECORD STORE ON CAMPUS. DO YOU KNOW HIM BY ANY CHANCE?

    prongs: Can you describe him to me?

    padfoot: tall, lanky, brown hair, green sparkling eyes that you can get lost in, did i mention REALLY hot?!

    prongs: Mate, that could be any guy on campus.
    prongs: Does he have a name tag?

    padfoot: great thinking prongs!! Let me get a closer look.
    padfoot: OKAY I GOT HIS NAME. HIS NAME IS REMUS LUPIN. RING ANY BELLS?

    prongs: Remus Lupin? Yeah he's been best friends with Lily since they were kids.

    (Wolfstar Record Store AU - mostly wolfstar but also dorlene and jily!!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,954
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    949
  15. Tags
    Summary

    lily evans is a professional tennis player, and remus is her coach. remus bumps into sirius (who coaches james) in a starbucks, and accidentally signs lily up to be james' doubles partner. both parties end up accidentally falling head over heels whilst in the run up to wimbledon.
    not really that much angst, just fairly dry humour, fluffy things and lily being a hardcore swiftie + tennis references and tea/coffee addictions (i also couldnt not give you dorlene!!)
    bi, trans, lesbian, pan, gay and poc reps will be in this fic so if you arent okay with any of that leave rn pls <3

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,625
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    166
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Sirius Black did what no one else dared. He glanced twice.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,297
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    94
  17. Tags
    Summary

    When Remus texts a wrong number, he shocked and confused as to why the percistent pestering and questioning from an incredibly dramatic boy (who he should be finding annoying) brings him so much joy.

    When Sirius revives a text from a snarky, stubborn and closed off boy (the kind of person who he'd normally get fed up with quickly), he sees an opportunity to make a friend. But little does he know that this boy has the power to be so much more than that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,544
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    907
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Sirius confronts Remus about Remus believing that Sirius and James will end their friendship eventually.

     

    “No, it’s your turn to listen,” Sirius spoke harshly before shaking his head and glaring softly at Remus. “Are you ready to listen?”
    “Is that rhetorical?”
    “Yes.”
    “Fine,” Remus whispered. “I’m listening.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,545
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    57
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    656
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Sirius talks in his sleep and Remus uses it for his own entertainment.

     

    “You okay, Sirius?” Remus casually asked the sleeping man when he moved.
    “Ohana.”
    “Is that right?” Remus retorts with an amused smile. “What does ‘Ohana’ mean?”
    “Murder.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,811
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    96
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    787
  20. Tags
    Summary

    A French Sirius is visiting Hogwarts for the Triwizard Tournament, but w h o the fuck is that dirty blonde Gryffindor boy!?

    A short lil wolfstar fic

    Update: I changed my mind, this is going to be on the longer side :P, but if you're a Wattpad comment enthusiast like myself, I've uploaded it there (same username ofc). I feel like Wattpad is seriously lacking in Wolfstar fics, or I'm just shocking at finding them.

    Anyways, I will stop rambling now.

    ENJOY!!!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,019
    Chapters:
    24/?
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    150
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    3915

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