14 Works in Sarcastic Harry Potter

Listing Works

  1. Tags
    Summary

    Nothing ever changes, nothing except him. The ancient halls, he can almost hear the footsteps and laughter of students from years passed walking through them.

    However long ago that time was...

    He wouldn't know, that was a past he was trying to piece together. Why has he been alone all his life and raised by an empty castle that looks like a war hit it? Why does the castle seem to be in a stasis while he continues to grow? Why do all the newspapers talk of a Dark Lord? And who is the man, the first man, to enter his unchanging world of questions and seems to hold all the answers?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,180
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    69
    Kudos:
    222
    Bookmarks:
    58
    Hits:
    3862
  2. Tags
    Summary

    A surprise for everyone: THE Harry Potter (Savior of the Wizarding World, Boy-Who-Lived, yada yada yada) was sorted into Hufflepuff. The audacity of that Sorting Hat! The entire world filled with witches and wizards had demanded a resort! Well, the ones in Britain did. Especially those that went to Hogwarts themselves, sorted into the best house: Slyth-- GRYFFINDOR!

    Harry Potter, a poor boy left to defend himself from the wilds of crazy people expecting too much from him, is left to show the world how dangerous it is to poke a badger.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,459
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    251
    Bookmarks:
    54
    Hits:
    4202
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Harry likes to chase and Malfoy, it seems, likes to be chased.

    “You know, Potter,” Draco said, and Harry gritted his teeth as he felt Draco’s breath near his ear. He was going to catch the bastard and tie him up in these very ropes that Harry just couldn’t seem to get out of. He froze as he felt Malfoy pulling at his ropes, bringing him to his knees. “Ever since we shared a drunken kiss in that isolated alleyway, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”
    Draco’s fingers curled beneath Harry’s chin, tilting it upwards so that Harry could see him better. Harry’s hands still wouldn’t come free. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Harry muttered resolutely and looked away to the side.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,376
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    114
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    2333
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Harry was just enjoying the concept of a sabbatical. A little bit of time off, connect with Defense Masters, learn some new tactics, and enjoying other countries.
    He did not intend on tripping head first into the Mafia. Which apparently has Rainbow Flames.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,269
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    356
    Bookmarks:
    138
    Hits:
    4855
  5. Tags
    Summary

    When Harry left the Wizarding world, he had no intention to return. However, two years after the war, a Hogwarts owl with a letter finds Harry in muggle Barcelona.
    Hogwarts is ready to open it's doors again, with a new plan for students who want to finish their education.
    An apprehensive Harry accepts but soon learns Hogwarts, under Headmistress McGonagall, is nothing like he expected it to be. Harry and the other eight years wonder, why is there suddenly a pet dragon called Mushu and when did McGonagall become so positively Slytherin?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,349
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    386
  6. Tags
    Summary

    You don't have to tell Harry Potter about wounds. He's seen them all: new ones, scars, festering and infected, and the ones that heal jagged. But look: he's either The-Boy-Who-Lived or The-Boy-Who-Can't-Manage-To-Die.

    Ask anyone who knows him and they'll give you a very interesting answer.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,543
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    306
    Bookmarks:
    85
    Hits:
    10323
  7. Tags
    Summary

    "This article is intended as a commentary and companion to Newt Scamander's 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them', annotating a selection of the entries contained therein. Personal experience has shown me that amateurs attempting to work with such creatures are often lacking in common sense and require more specific instructions." As written by Harry Potter.

    Harry reflects on the many creatures he has encountered over his years at Hogwarts, most of them outside of the official class...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,666
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    492
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Harry realizes just how unhelpful Dumbledore is at the end of his Third-Year and comes to remember a quote, "If you want something done right - Do it yourself." (Previously having a long ass title.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,431
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    168
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    4991
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Raised in an orphanage near Mt. Ebott, Potter twins Francesca and Hadrian are complete opposites; Ches is popular, reckless and fiercely loyal, while Harry is...just Harry.

    At the age of ten, a single dare leads Ches and Harry on a fool-hardy trek up Mt. Ebott during a thunderstorm. As Fate would have it, the two - naturally - fall into Mt. Ebott and journey their way through a hidden world where flowers are evil, monsters are (mostly) good, LOVE is bad, and determination can be wielded as a weapon.

    Armed with their own form of love, can the dysfunctional Potter twins find a way to break the barrier without loosing their Souls, and perhaps gain a few (more than) friends in the progress?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,905
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    123
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    1492
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Where Plotbunnies go to *die!*

    (Kidding!)

    Just a place for me to post plotbunnies, fic outlines, story excerpts, bits of dialogue, pieces of narration, or random chapters to go with plot bunnies that I haven't worked on otherwise.

    Most are HP fandom, some are Merlin, and a lot are x-overs with HP - Merlin, LotR, Avengers, Sherlock, Supernatural; even a couple of Percy Jackson, Doctor Who, a True Blood a 1/2 Prince, and some multi-fandoms. There are also a few that have elements of other, non-crossover fandoms not listed; such as the Star Trek universe, the Star Wars universe, or the Stargate Universe.

    Mostly slash or gen, and most (if not all) het pairings are genderbenders.

    ***Please remember that the tags encompass ALL of the plotbunnies I will be posting; they do not all reference the same fic.***

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,452
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    7733
  11. Tags
    Summary

    During fourth year both of Harry's best friends abandon him to prepare for a life-threatening tournament by himself, because they don't believe him about not putting his name in the goblet, and during his studies Harry comes across some fascinating information that changes everything. Everyone better watch out because Harry Potter isn't going to sit back and be a perfect little light wizard. These days he's feeling a bit... well... wicked.

    Adopted By VultureLovesong

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,782
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    872
    Bookmarks:
    227
    Hits:
    12565
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Amaryllis Potter is sick of faking her way through life. Sick of acting weak. The Triwizard Tournament was confusing enough as it was but this summer she is going to show her true self and go the the right side of the war.

    What if Amaryllis encountered a magical before her eleventh birthday? What if she wasn't even completely human even before her first trip to Hogwarts? What if she hid that fact until the most opportune moment?

    She's going to take the world by storm, and she's going to do it her way. Everyone else be damned

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,869
    Chapters:
    5/27
    Comments:
    54
    Kudos:
    460
    Bookmarks:
    147
    Hits:
    10036
  13. Tags
    Summary

    God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages. -Jacques Deval

    Harry's summer before fourth year brings forth a lot of change, in him and everyone around him. He heads back with a new attitude, only to find himself in a sticky situation with a deadly tournament, detention with his least favorite teacher for the end of all time, and a prank war that has gone far to out of hand to be stopped. Oh well, at least he's got amazing friends. There really never is a dull moment in the life of out fave three and their companions.

    (Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. J. K. Rowling does. If I did own Harry Potter, it probably would not have turned out nearly as awesome, so I suppose you should all be damn grateful I Don't own The Harry Potter Saga. No Money is being made. Entertainment values only. Thank you Dearies! ~ P. G. "Red" Wolfe)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,866
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    483
    Bookmarks:
    115
    Hits:
    5731
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Potter is abruptly thrown into a different world upon receiving his letter from Hogwarts. Danger stalks him at every turn, light and dark are locked in a constant, eternal battle, and weaving it all together is this substance called magic...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    104,791
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    117
    Kudos:
    1312
    Bookmarks:
    531
    Hits:
    20611

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