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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Tailhunting: a time honored tradition, born when an ancient human looked at an ancient monster and said, "Yeah, I'd fuck that." Jake English and his best friend Roxy, long time devotees to this discipline, have hunted and fucked through dozens of mystical, strange, dangerous, and beautiful creatures. But there's one that every tailhunter longs to smash: the elusive, reticient, and infamously romantic centaur.

    Now, Jake has a lead, a plan, a will, and a hard-on. As long as he doesn't fall madly, desperately, and pathetically in love, he's pretty sure he can nail this.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,208
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    16
  2. Tags
    Summary

    In which Dave goes in to kill a demon for his bro, and things...don't exactly go as planned. Really, absolutely nothing goes as planned, but that's...somehow okay. Mostly.

    Please check the tags before you read. List of characters and explanation of talents is in the end notes.

    art by olivetheowl

    art by thedoublepp

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    84,335
    Chapters:
    28/28
    Comments:
    629
    Kudos:
    408
    Bookmarks:
    60
    Hits:
    5601
  3. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of very short stories from the Kingdom of Kingsman.
    All our favourites are here, so come on in and enjoy the ride!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,322
    Chapters:
    26/30
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1097
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Inspired by this post on tumblr: http://merwin-me.tumblr.com/post/171196864432/incorrect-drarry-quotes-agrestenoir

    When you spend a lot of time with small children, you tend to pick up on certain phrases and habits that people don't generally use with adults. Eggsy spent a lot of time raising Daisy: he knows all the tricks. From giving stickers for good behavior to adopting a certain tone of voice when he really means it, Eggsy knows the "dad" playbook by heart. The problem is that that's not exactly something you turn off.

    Or: The story where Eggsy talks to the other candidates and knights the same way he does to Daisy and they respond surprisingly well.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    950
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    100
  5. Tags
    Summary
      
    Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Old Time is still a-flying; And this same flower that smiles today Tomorrow will be dying. Robert Herrick
      
    This is a love story. How it happens, how it's lost; and most especially how it's found again. Sometimes, that's really all you need.
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,761
    Chapters:
    15/23
    Comments:
    69
    Kudos:
    113
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1133
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Five gods rent a flat in Manhattan. That sounded like the start of a bad joke.

    In which Loki Silvertongue is not the only lost god who falls to a world that isn’t his own.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    189,029
    Chapters:
    34/?
    Comments:
    762
    Kudos:
    1290
    Bookmarks:
    247
    Hits:
    20630
  7. Tags
    Summary

    You're known by many names, outside of the confines of your own rooms.

    The Dragon King of Derse. King Dirk. The son of the late King David and Queen Rosaline. The prince who became a king too soon, the ugly dark crown atop your head sat there too early. The last hope your kingdom has left to push back against the apparently unstoppable force of an invasion that's lasted for too long.

    It's with the weight of your very identity, of your ancestors and their accomplishments, of your land and position, that you asked for help.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,699
    Chapters:
    2/30
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    218
  8. Tags
    Summary

    It is a lot of work being in love with a man half his age who wouldn’t give him a second glance. But we can’t all dictate our heart to function like we wish to, can we?

    (In which Harry details his "business trips", his colleagues' unnecessary shenanigans, his deep-rooted love for cardigans and baking, and how he gets through a day with a constant, metaphorical heartache for a certain you-know-who.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,269
    Chapters:
    19/?
    Comments:
    112
    Kudos:
    112
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    2435
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Why couldn't these hunters give Karkat and his hive a break? Ah, yes, because nice things are for other people. How could he forget.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,244
    Chapters:
    19/?
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    162
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1642
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Other wise known as a place holder title because seriously I don't know what I'm doing.
    Some astronouats crash land on a whole new planet and they fall in love with the life there.

    This is all place holder until I come up with something better.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    467
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    22
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Everyone had expected for them to win.

    No one had really been anticipating waking up in their houses, almost like nothing had ever happened.

    It's April of 2009, and the game is over. What may be even harder than the game is reintegrating back into normal society. After all, how do a bunch of traumatized teenagers reintegrate back into society? Especially when two of them had grown up without seeing another human being for the first fifteen years of their lives?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    73,560
    Chapters:
    76/?
    Comments:
    415
    Kudos:
    708
    Bookmarks:
    83
    Hits:
    10291
  12. Tags
    Summary

    I've written in various fandoms for about 20 years, but this is my first foray into the Kingsman. Be gentle...Eggsy and Harry have already forgiven me in advance. :)

    A mission that could have gone terribly wrong leaves Harry with impaired hearing. He also has impaired vision when it comes to Eggsy.

    In this universe, Harry is shot by Valentine but not fatally.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    89,018
    Chapters:
    29/?
    Comments:
    57
    Kudos:
    102
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1776
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Eggsy Unwin, son of British ex-patriot Lee Unwin and his French-Swiss wife Michelle Unwin is a grad student working on an arduous thesis when he's invited to the prestigious Cambridge University for a year abroad. A young grad named Roxy Morton invites him to stay with her and they get on like a house on fire.

    Only one problem.

    Her two gorgeous uncles, professors at the University, live right next door. Her two gorgeous - completely unavailable - married uncles.

    Even if he could manage more than three words in English or French every time he stumbled into them, they wouldn't be interested... right?

    Written because starbucks has a thing for foreign languages and sexy sexy voices. This is the hell we descended into together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,183
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    108
    Kudos:
    125
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    1703
  14. Tags
    Summary

    When Prince Jake died, the first person who suggested Prince Dirk remarry was left on display for two months until the King forced Dirk to return the body to his family. But it's been a year now, so surely Dirk won't actually hurt the troll who he's being forced to marry.
    After all, the peace is fragile and both sides need to learn to see each other as people, not aliens. As allies. What better way than a marriage? What better ambassador than Karkat Vantas, war hero turned romance author?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,819
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    214
  15. Tags
    Summary

    We all write Merlin as a workaholic. But what if he wasn't? What if he had a good support staff and word hard but fast, and only kept the long hours when agents were on very specific missions or something went wrong. His personality is such that people always feel he is around more than he actually is. The older agents are well used to this and know why, but Eggsy doesn't. And then he learns that Merlin has 5 very good reasons not to be a workaholic:
    Audra 23
    Gretchen 19
    Bethany 11
    Clara 8
    Lacey 6
    And oh god, finding out BAMF Merlin is the softest guy ever? Eggsy's heart is completely doomed. Doomed. DOOMED.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,627
    Chapters:
    18/18
    Comments:
    915
    Kudos:
    323
    Bookmarks:
    48
    Hits:
    5481
  16. Tags
    Summary

    After a string of unfortunate happenings to his poor robot, Dirk Strider decides that enough is enough. Descending into the deep sea, where little to no light can reach, he finds himself in way over his head.
    Approximately 3,281 feet above his head.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,404
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    49
  17. Tags
    Summary

    the worst smut you'll ever read, by far

    now with extra angst

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,965
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Collections:
    5
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    374
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Dave and co. figure life out, one quiet moment at a time.

    or

    A story about some kids who find their place.

     

    Cause I know a place we could go
    No one has been there, and no one will know
    There it is quiet, forget the violence
    You've tried so hard to ignore

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,960
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    80
    Kudos:
    115
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    1202
  19. Tags
    Summary

    The shittiest dive bar in the best part of town. Totally your style.

    One, two steps up some rickety well-worn wooden stairs, and you’re standing on stage, shades reflecting the obnoxious multicolored lights. You walk all of three steps to get to the center of the tiny stage. Three short bursts of sound echo throughout the mostly-empty bar as you check the mic, and you give the DJ to your right a short nod to let him know you’re ready.

    Your attention finally turns to the crowd as the beat drops, faces painted hues of pink, purple, and green by the shitty strobing lights. There are a few regulars lapping up drinks, and a few faces you don’t know—a couple of girls stick out because they’re about 20 years younger than anyone else in the bar—roughly your age.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    58,289
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    376
  20. Tags
    Summary

    The players of sburb/sgrub get reincarnated as harry potter characters.
    I plan on doing all the books but idk. I also need help with which character gets reincarnated as who.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    322
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    149

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