1 - 20 of 81 Works in Roach Has the Brain Cell (The Witcher)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    In which the boys have to use words. Mostly buildup to the actual kissing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,250
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    329
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt and Jaskier travel to Kaer Morhen for the winter. But things are never that easy, and after an encounter with a mage they are suddenly faced with a new problem.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,128
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    119
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    1374
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Five times Geralt and Jaskier shared sleeping space out of necessity (with mixed results) and one time they did it for enjoyment.

    First five chapters will be pre-slash. Now with 20% more fart jokes!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,958
    Chapters:
    5/6
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    217
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    1817
  4. Tags
    Summary

    After the disastrous Dragon Hunt, Tony decides to grant Steve his blessing and fuck off from the Witcher’s life.
    Destiny, however, plants Tony in the path of another Witcher

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,344
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    71
    Kudos:
    274
    Bookmarks:
    57
    Hits:
    3592
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt can't seem to work up the courage to ask Jaskier to join him at Kaer Morhen, so Roach does it instead.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,182
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    844
    Bookmarks:
    82
    Hits:
    4172
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt doesn’t want to think about the fact that he still hoped of meeting him at some point. That sometimes when he hears a lute strumming in his proximity he jumps out of his skin, eager to see him wearing his bright colored doublets like a peacock. That when he turns on the road, he half expects him to groan a complaint about how long they’ll finally set their camp. That more often than not he still talks to him, something he didn’t do enough when he had the chance.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,281
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    47
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    354
  7. Tags
    Summary

    “The caravan to Oxenfurt left yesterday morning there isn’t another one this year” Jaskier said looking to the floor. Then why wasn’t Jaskier on it? Geralt thought frustrated. They brought the tickets together. Geralt made sure Jaskier had enough coins and food for the trip.

    “Why aren’t you on it” Geralt asked angrily. He hoped for Jaskier sake it wasn’t because of some kind of woman he spent the night with. If that was the case Geralt would leave him right here in the stables.

    “Because somebody hurt me,” Jaskier said. That got Geralt’s attention.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,323
    Chapters:
    12/15
    Comments:
    72
    Kudos:
    442
    Bookmarks:
    40
    Hits:
    9394
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Even if Roach would be able to speak in a way that human ears could understand, she doubts anyone would be paying her much mind. Lights on, no one home, etcetera.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,062
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    118
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    526
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “For fucks sake, Jaskier!” The Witcher stood up so quickly that the chair he sat on fell backwards. Geralt stomped over to Jaskier, grabbing his arm and pulling the bard to face him. “What the fuck is with you?!”

    Jaskier blinked in shock at Geralt’s sudden outburst, thinking that Geralt would have preferred not to listen to his usual flitting about and just wished for the silence he so desired.

    “You’re not playing your lute, you’re not talking, you’re not--!” Geralt’s lips pulled back into a snarl, glaring at Jaskier, his grip tightening on Jaskier’s arm. Suddenly, Geralt slumped forward, closing his eyes as his head hung low.

    “Not what, Geralt?”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,703
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    436
    Bookmarks:
    79
    Hits:
    5674
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Después de la montaña Jaskier decide irse, las cosas no salen como lo planean nunca.

    Geralt se arrepiente de gritarle pero no logra encontrar a su bardo, después de meses de búsqueda parece ser que... ¿lo encuentra?

    Geraskier
    Geralt Top
    Jaskier Bottom
    Un poco de Fem Jaskier no sera mujer todo el fic.

    Language:
    Español
    Words:
    2,212
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    210
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Twinkstober 2020
    Prompt: drip

    Geralt meets a merman, and things go differently than he expects.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,883
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    692
    Bookmarks:
    102
    Hits:
    5842
  12. Tags
    Summary

    "I'm Geralt by the way." Seeing Geralt so calm and used to his life at the keep made him think that maybe, it wouldn't be so bad after all.

    "I'm Eskel."

    "Eskel." Geralt smiled brightly. Eskel had never liked the sound of his name in somebody else's mouth before.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,929
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    183
  13. Tags
    Summary

    It’s been six months since the end of their supposed friendship, and Jaskier is in a tavern when he hears it. The song. A song about Geralt that he hasn’t written – that someone else wrote for the White Wolf.
    Turns out Valdo Marx himself wrote it and – well. At least Geralt isn’t alone. It doesn’t matter if the one person that replaced Jaskier is the man he hates the most.
    Meanwhile, Geralt hears the song and believes Jaskier gave permission to his students to write songs about him. That means that Jaskier has given up on him – and even though it’s only fair, the thought hurts.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,546
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    421
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    2568
  14. Tags
    Summary

    A contract leaves Lambert with several extra feline appendages. It's far from the worse curse he's suffered, and he'd hardly be complaining if it weren't for their incredibly inconvenient habit of broadcasting his every emotion to anyone paying attention, rendering his usual defensive snark fairly useless. Unfortunately for all of them, his brothers never knew when to leave well enough alone, and it seems more than a few secrets and old wounds will be brought to light before this nightmare is over.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,063
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    62
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    572
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Listen, it's really obvious from "The Last Wish" that Geralt already likes and trusts Dandelion by the time they get to Posada. They're bantering, Geralt's laughing at his jokes, asking him for his opinion on things, and willingly letting him come to watch the fight with the "devil." They're philosophizing together, for crying aloud. And canonically, it's only been a few days since Geralt met him in Gulet. He warmed up to him so damn fast. This is how I imagine Geralt and Dandelion's meet cute in Gulet went, and their subsequent trip to Posada.

    If I ever post smut for Geralt/Dandelion, it will be such a slow burn that it's a separate story. This is just longing so gentle that Geralt doesn't even notice he's feeling it. Rated Teen for cannon typical threats of violence (but no one gets hurt) and off screen sex.

    Comments are appreciated, but I wasn't sure I ever wanted this to see the light of day, so please be nice.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,262
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    101
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    745
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Travelling the path is as long as it is arduous. With Nilfgaard at their heels, Jaskier and Geralt are in a constant and vigilant caution to protect their young charge, but even in times of struggle, secrets, and dark tidings, songs can spark joy and strengthen the bonds we hold dear.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    825
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    371
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier and Geralt part ways for the winter…or do they?

    Roach has the brain cell and is done with their shit :D

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    708
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    205
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    999
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier has tried many things in bed, and in life in general, but never in his life has he wanted to be on the receiving end of a blade. That is, until he kind of does, and kind of hates himself for it.

    Geralt couldn't be more thrilled to figure it out, even if he is incredibly dense and it takes him a while (and some close calls)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,640
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    169
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    2762
  19. Tags
    Summary

    This sort of thing would make and excellent ballad about unrequited love. It's really too bad that he can't stop coughing long enough to sing, and maybe just slightly worse that he may keel over before he could write it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,685
    Chapters:
    10/11
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    238
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    3568
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Twinkstober 2020
    Prompt: improvement

    Geralt is given an omega instead of coin as payment. Neither of them is particularly happy about it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,741
    Chapters:
    28/28
    Comments:
    1276
    Kudos:
    2513
    Bookmarks:
    511
    Hits:
    52858

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