1 - 20 of 91 Works in Richie Tozier Being a Dumbass

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    who thought privacy would be such a rare commodity in the apocalypse?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,684
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    75
  2. Tags
    Summary

    when richie figures out stan has a crush on eddie, an unspoken rivalry begins.

    with that, comes new feelings and complications.

    ( prequel to “just right” )

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,204
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    266
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Eddie and Richie really should have learnt what it meant to have personal space.

    Maybe things would have been less confusing if they had just given each other a little space.

    Instead, Richie and Eddie are taught a valuable lesson about playing games they don’t have a rule book for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    55,534
    Chapters:
    10/11
    Comments:
    89
    Kudos:
    645
    Bookmarks:
    79
    Hits:
    10753
  4. Tags
    Summary

    When Richie overhears Eddie telling Mike about his crush on some mystery man, he decides to repress his own feelings and help him woo the guy. Richie is not the sharpest tool in the shed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,036
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    103
    Kudos:
    934
    Bookmarks:
    98
    Hits:
    8354
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Eddie is Dead. The words aren’t allowed to be spoken inside of Richie’s head until he’s trying to wipe Eddie’s blood off of his cracked glasses in water that’s no cleaner than he is. Once they are though, they don’t stop. Eddie is dead, Eddie is dead, Eddie is dead.

     

    Former Title: "Eddie is Dead" but this new one fits a whole lot better

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,671
    Chapters:
    19/?
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    995
  6. Tags
    Summary

    derry high school offers a fall trip to Washington, D.C., and of course, the losers are going.

    *note: everything is the same except richie & eddie are girls, and it’s november of 2016

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,937
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    587
  7. Tags
    Summary

    It's 1992 and junior year is still fresh and new to the few kids in Derry High School.

    In which Eddie Kaspbrak is new to the theatre department, and Richie Tozier is eager to teach him his ways.

    Or

    Richie and Eddie get off on the wrong foot and are forced to work together in Richie’s theatre class.

    Or

    Derry High’s production of Romeo and Juliet goes fucking haywire.
     

     

    °

     

    "Truly wounded that it won't be me you'll be kissing tonight, Eds".

    "Shut the fuck up, asshole. You're being dramatic. It's just pretend, remember?".

    "Right. Just pretend" he reminds himself.

     

     

    i swear this is much more interesting than it sounds LMAO

    (originally published on Wattpad)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    118,198
    Chapters:
    27/27
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1391
  8. Tags
    Summary

    It was no surprise to hear how shocked Richie was when Eddie actually called his house tonight. Like no time had passed at all, like they weren’t just complete dicks to each other over the last few months, they were back to their usual banter within seconds. And Eddie got Richie laughing, really hollering over something stupid he said. His laughter was pure sunshine to Eddie’s ears.

    It was only fitting that this time — the last time Eddie would hear it — would be the loudest it had ever been.

    **************************

    A story of self-discovery, abuse recovery, pining idiots in love, and oh yeah Eddie becomes a vampire.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,331
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    113
    Kudos:
    101
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    2451
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Richie falls for one of those “grow a bigger penis” pills from a porn pop-up. They work, and Eddie finds him hiding in his apartment, painfully hard and almost crazy horny. He offers to help...you know, as bros.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,064
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    352
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    5787
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Sometimes you have to let good things happen to you.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    63,778
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    48
    Kudos:
    184
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    5577
  11. Tags
    Summary

    After senior prom, Richie Tozier gave his boyfriend of seven months his first blowjob

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,069
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    340
  12. Tags
    Summary

    “Aud come on. He’s my best friend.”

    “Best friend! Bill he’s a freeloading asshole. All he does I smoke weed, get us in trouble with the neighbors, and eat everything in our fridge. He doesn’t even pay rent!”

    Ah there it was. Richie had been wondering when she was gonna pull that out. He strained to hear Bill’s response. Freeloading asshole was new though. Last week he was a parasitic dirtbag. Little improvements.

    “You know he’s just going through a hard time right now.”

    Richie huffed softly. Yeah 23 years of hard fucking times. Although Bill was probably referring to his band breaking up."

    Richie is a struggling artist and he's really sucking at this "being a grown-up thing." So he does what any idiot stoner would do.

    He pretends to be his best friend to steal his job.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,033
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    929
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Eddie’s phone began to buzz, but he ignored it. He opted out for placing his hand on Richie’s thigh, resulting in a sharp inhale from the other man. Richie’s jaw dropped lower, and he knew that he looked stupidly awestruck at this point, but he couldn’t control it. He had fallen under Eddie’s spell.

    “Eds,” Richie whispered, “You’re drunk. What do you want from me?”

    Eddie chuckled lightly in response. “Nothing.”

    Nothing. Despite Eddie’s hand on his thigh, for some reason, he wanted nothing from Richie. As peculiar as it was, it was slightly fitting for Eddie’s character; right as he drew you in, he let you go, dropping you into the abyss.

    “That’s bullshit,” Richie stuttered, his adrenaline spiking. “Whatever it is you want, you can have it.”

    “Anything?”

    “Anything.”

    ----

    Everybody makes mistakes. For Richie and Eddie, they come in the form of excessive drinking and regrets.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,359
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    1023
  14. Tags
    Summary

    karen and ted wheeler being good parents to their daughter nancy, twins mike and richie, and later holly :)
    or
    the healthy family dynamics between the wheeler family

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,945
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    109
    Kudos:
    89
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1811
  15. Tags
    Summary

    richie and eddie are stupid, in love, and chaotic

    there's truly nothing else to say

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,685
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    131
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    933
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Eddie lets go of his straw with an exaggerated pop, leans back, and asks, “Is this a fun summer pastime of yours? Stalking unsuspecting lifeguards?”

    “Is this—fun summer—“ Richie chokes around the words, voice strangled, mangled, ruined. He clears his throat, trying to dislodge the frog in it, and slurps messily at his water, all but drenching his chin. He feels like he’s drowning now. “I don’t stalk lifeguards,” he says. 

    Eddie tilts his head, almost a challenge, and says, tone unreadable, “Really.”

    /

    Eddie and Richie go on that pizza date.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,294
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    133
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    747
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Chloe’s One-Shot Contest.

     

     

    in which eddie gets jealous.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,194
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    48
    Hits:
    477
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Eddie Kaspbrak is 16 when his therapist suggests that he write to his future self as an outlet. Chaos and self-recognition ensue.

    CURRENTLY ON (PERMANENT?) HAITUS AS OF 1/26/21

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,087
    Chapters:
    12/20
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    751
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Eddie Kaspbrak is afraid of being sick; Richie Tozier is afraid of giving his parents and the bullies another thing to beat him for.
    But if it feels so good, can it really be bad?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    62,449
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    125
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    3181
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Eddie is terrified of the water. Which is kind of ironic considering that he lives by the ocean. He says that he'd need a miracle to be able to go back into the water. Little did he expect his miracle to be a dark scaly creature that washed up into his pool after an intense tropical storm.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,618
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    156
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    2036

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