1 - 20 of 237 Works in Rachel (Schitt's Creek)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    David’s eyes flick between Jocelyn and the stocky man in a blue button-up who is currently browsing his store. David prides himself on knowing every single one of his customers, which is why this man stands out—David has never seen him before.
    He does his best to focus his attention on Jocelyn—she’s one of his best customers, or rather, one of his most frequent. She comes in about once a week, looking for a potion or spell to undo yet another curse that has befallen Roland. David had thought—or hoped—that after the fourth time, Roland would learn to stop pissing off the wrong people, but there’s been no such development. Though it aggravates David, he has to admit that Roland’s stupidity turns a decent profit.

    -

    Or: David is a witch. Patrick is in the market for a love potion.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,818
    Chapters:
    3/5
    Comments:
    80
    Kudos:
    104
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    797
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Alexis overhears a FaceTime call between Rachel and Patrick.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    771
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    27
    Hits:
    266
  3. Tags
    Summary

    “Ugh!” David shouts, trying to figure out how to explain how utterly maddening this man was. “Yes, he was polite, I guess, but the way he said it was like—" he lets out a noise of frustration “—you know that fucking emoji of the moon?”

    “The one with that condescending smile that looks like it probably just did a really bad fart and is proud of it?”

    “Yes!” David points so forcefully at Stevie that he almost falls off the couch. “He may have said polite words but his expression was pure stinky-fart-moon-face!”

    Stevie makes a noise of disgust. “I hate that fucking emoji.”


    David meets Patrick Brewer, a glassblower, at the Elmington Craft Fair and loves his work, but wishes it didn’t come attached to someone so condescending. Not that it matters, because apparently Patrick has no interest in becoming part of the Rose Apothecary brand. It wouldn’t be nearly so annoying if Patrick’s best friend wasn’t about to be David’s newest vendor.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    66,893
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    402
    Kudos:
    320
    Bookmarks:
    80
    Hits:
    6087
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Twyla had never seen herself as someone who could catch the eye of someone like Mutt, let alone someone who would be interesting enough to watch on national television. But what was fate if not a series of lucky decisions and choices, aligning together to create something wonderful?
     
    -

    In truth, Alexis doesn’t know a ton about Mutt, aside from the fact that he’s hot - those abs - and that something about his reticence is charming. Her friend Jitney encouraged her to apply for the show, and fresh off her third break-up with Stavros, she figured, why not?

    -

    Twyla Sands and Alexis Rose meet on Mutt’s season of The Bachelor.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,416
    Chapters:
    2/11
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    300
  5. Tags
    Summary

    “I’m really glad you stole my boss’s dinner, David.”

    “Me too.”

    “‘And I’m so glad you came up with the plan to set our bosses up, Patrick and given me copious amounts of free time.’”

    “Mm, a bold claim.”

    David and Patrick are assistants who just want a moment that isn't consumed by their workaholic bosses, so they decide the best way to do that is to set them up. It goes about as well as you'd think it would.

    Or, the Set it Up AU.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,786
    Chapters:
    2/5
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    407
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Welcome to Big Brother! 16 contestants must compete against each other for a chance to win $500,000 in a house wired with cameras and microphones, capturing their every move for a TV and Internet audience. The twist? They all already know someone else in the house; exes, family members, old friends, enemies. Who will make it to the end?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    123,832
    Chapters:
    21/?
    Comments:
    169
    Kudos:
    127
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    4397
  7. Tags
    Summary

    High school junior Patrick Brewer never dreamed he’d have a sexual awakening from an employee orientation video.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,174
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    657
  8. Tags
    Summary

    a collection of drabbles for each time patrick and rachel got back together. tags will be added as needed and i'm making the overall rating t, but i'll put content warnings in the notes if/when it's needed. chapter postings are non-linear, so the timeline bounces around a bit.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    700
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    465
  9. Tags
    Summary

    After 20 years in Schitt’s Creek, David Rose is practically native. The Roses had long ago lost hope that anyone vaguely resembling themselves would ever come to town…cue Patrick Brewer. Overachiever, Harvard MBA graduate, and one of the youngest business moguls Wall Street has ever seen. Well, before everything came crashing down.

    A role reversal AU, of sorts.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,875
    Chapters:
    6/12
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    100
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    2277
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “Hey,” he offers David a smile. “Same as yesterday?”

    He gets a pressed smile in return, like he wasn’t expecting Patrick to remember him. “Yeah, it’s—”

    “Caramel macchiato, skim, two sweeteners and a sprinkle of cocoa powder,” Patrick recites as he makes his way behind the counter. He picks up a paper cup. “It’s not that complicated.”

    David gives him an unamused look. “My accommodations don’t have a coffee maker,” he offers. “Or an espresso machine. Just a plug-in kettle.”

    Patrick gives a low whistle as he preps an espresso shot. “Must be rough.”

    --

    A story about sweet caffeine, starting new, and falling in love slowly.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,911
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    100
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    777
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Patrick Brewer has had two first kisses in his life. The second one changed everything. This is the story of each of them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,077
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    475
  12. Tags
    Summary

    The notebook that turns up at David’s door isn’t at all what he was told to expect from the artist who had forewarned David of a gift the morning after the last night of the show at his gallery. Apparently, David and Othello (God, that’s his actual name, David kept reminding himself with a poorly hidden smirk) had very different definitions of what constituted “a little thank you”.

     

    Sometimes, David thinks so much that he can't talk. And when he can't talk, he writes.

    OR, the story of David's little black notebook, and a processing of David's life & emotions through it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    752
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    263
  13. Tags
    Summary

    On the eve of their first anniversary Patrick and David receive news that could change their future.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,094
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    80
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    2407
  14. Tags
    Summary

    What if Patrick ran away to LA and met David?

    Or, David and Patrick reimagined through the album Fine Line by Harry Styles.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,301
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    79
    Kudos:
    125
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    1048
  15. Tags
    Summary

    New York, 1895, and David Rose is at his wit’s end. Struggling as the reluctant director of the Opera Rouge, the finest of the Rose Collaboration theatres, David is running out of options to keep his career alive and his doors open. But when a chance encounter with an aspiring ballet dancer flips his world upside down, David learns that there’s so much more in store for him than he could ever have imagined.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,480
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    248
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Rachel checked her phone again.

     

    Nothing.

    She sighed, resigned. I am not spending the whole evening moping in this dingy motel room, she told herself. She dug some coins from her purse and went out in search of that soda machine she thought she'd seen earlier.
    ‐------------------------
    Rachel came to Schitt's Creek to reconnect with her (former) fiancé and rekindle their relationship. When he doesn't respond to her messages, she decides to spend the evening with her new friend Alexis and her family.

     

    Rachel and Patrick talk during The Barbecue.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,432
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    84
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    539
  17. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,403
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    117
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    522
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Years ago, Patrick made an impulsive decision that flipped his life upside down and sent him running five hundred miles away. Three years later, he’s home, with history aiming to repeat itself again. Will he make the same decision and risk losing the one thing he wants more than anything in the world? More importantly, how can he even choose now that he truly knows how he feels? 

     

    I made a list of what I love
    To make a document that shows what I think I'm made of
    To tell me what I should do
    And hope it turns me in the direction of you
    - Coming Back to You - Sara Bareilles

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,569
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Comments:
    638
    Kudos:
    426
    Bookmarks:
    128
    Hits:
    8841
  19. Tags
    Summary

    “David, the wife.” David stuck a hand out towards Jenna.

    “You’re a man,” Jenna replied dumbly. David dropped his hand and looked down at himself as if to confirm that fact.

    “I am,” he nodded.
    _____

    Patrick finally takes David home with him and there seems to be some miscommunication.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,685
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    228
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1540
  20. Tags
    Summary

    "Did I see you giving out your card? Another young maiden being sold off to a man from a neighboring village in exchange for a herd of cows?” Stevie asks. “Did you meet him? Is it a him?”

    “No idea,” David replies. “All I know is that her name is Rachel and she’s newly engaged. And she appreciates my good taste, so honestly, as long as they don’t pay me in cows, I truly couldn’t care less who her fiancé is.”

    It turns out, he does care.

    An AU based on the 2001 movie The Wedding Planner.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,824
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    82
    Kudos:
    140
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1863

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