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  1. Tags
    Summary

    This thing started 4 years ago as a crack fic to amuse myself because honestly, dwarves are just ridiculous. As I returned to it after a long pause and it took an entirely different spin, a summary rewrite is a necessity.

    Bilbo Baggins had been touched by black magic. Her idle life in the Shire without any need to use her dark powers was turned upside down when Gandalf appeared at her doorstep to drag her yet again into trouble. But who wouldn't want to see a dragon? And the crownless king of dwarves wasn't so bad himself too. In hindsight, she should have just told the wizard to sod off.

    Thorin was quite ready to despise the newly acquired Company burglar, he was. Instead, he fell head over heels for her. Courting on the way to Erebor proves to be rather tricky when you're a directionally challenged jealous idiot and pretty much everyone ends up smitten with your One while literally nothing goes as planned.

    Throw in some dragon sickness angst, One Ring troubles, unexpected friendships and a lot of elves. Chaos ensues.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    230,487
    Chapters:
    31/31
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    237
    Kudos:
    786
    Bookmarks:
    287
    Hits:
    35633
  2. Tags
    Summary

    In the wake of his brother's death, Bilbo learns how to deal with the biggest change in his life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,228
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    267
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Samwise Gamgee moves to Grey Haven with his family, and his life is never quite the same.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,028
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    158
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Thorin’s parents had always compared his eyes to storms, and lately, he’d begun to feel more and more like a storm himself. Not a violent one with winds knocking over cell towers and flipping ships upside down, he thought, kicking a small rock along the road. The stone skittered over cobblestones and landed in a crack. No, what boiled inside Thorin was more like the stuff you felt when you realized a storm was coming, or perhaps already here. It was the pregnant air, the stirring heat, the rumble of clouds at war with each other.

    A Folklore prequel to Evermore Bagginshield.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,328
    Chapters:
    1/5
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    52
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Dwarves are so secretive that they won't even tell someone when they've married them!
    Bella loves Dwalin with her whole heart but when it doesn't appear he's going to make a proper wife out of her Bella packs her broken heart up and goes back to the Shire.
    Dwalin thinks Bella has abandoned him, walked out on their marriage and him.
    Now he's in The Shire looking for his wife who might have a surprise of her own for him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,498
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    110
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    1125
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Thorin Oakenshiled is a mild-mannered, stubborn yet kind boy.

    Bilbo Baggins is a loud, violent and adventurous lad.

    They are unlikely friends. Could they be an even more unlikely couple?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,593
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    18
    Hits:
    101
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Briar Baggins hadn't meant to become a Burglar, it just happened. She never took anything that would be missed or wasn't hers to begin with. She's not sure she's up to stealing an entire Mountain from a DRAGON! That is until she meets a face from her past when he waltzes into her smial with the rest of the Company.
    Nori draws her like a moth to the flame and every time they come together they swear it's the last. When the others catch on they swear it's purely physical nothing more.
    Will they figure out they've stolen each other hearts before it's too late?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,557
    Chapters:
    8/12
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    275
    Bookmarks:
    106
    Hits:
    4366
  8. Tags
    Summary

    “You a’right there, Master Baggins?” Hamfast Gamgee called out, appearing out his own front door. The easygoing gardener looked mighty concerned for him – and what a sight he must make, sitting on his garden path in the wee morning hours, still clad in his nightclothes.

    “My head’s in a bit of a tizzy, I’m afraid!” Bilbo manages to call back, his voice a little thin and wavery. He picks himself up, and frowns at his front door. The bright yellow paint is cheery enough – but he thinks it would look better painted green.

    “Happens to the best of us, Master Baggins! Don’t you fret.” Hamfast laughs merrily. “A good proper breakfast should set you to rights!”

    “Yes, yes!” Bilbo nods agreeably, and scurries back into his house. The door shuts heavily, and he leans back against it. He stares at his mother’s glory box for a minute – pristine and free of scuff marks, and looks at an empty spot on the wall where he was sure a map had hung, shakes his head, and goes back to fixing his tea and breakfast.

    Hamfast was right, he’d be well to himself soon enough.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,465
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    126
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    835
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “I heard Lobelia screeching,” Primula said and giggled at the memory. “What happened over there?”

    “Oh, you know Lobelia,” Bella said and rolled her eyes. “But none of that now – I've done something, Prim. I'm going to have seven dwarves over for tea.”

    “...Did you say seven? For tea?

    “Oh, and Frodo if you don't mind. They were so kind to him, and they're going to tell me about how they've slain a dragon!” Bella bounced on the balls of her feet. “I'm crazy, aren't I?”

    ___

    Bella Baggins rarely had any excitement in her comfortable life, but when a company of dwarves comes to the Shire for a trade deal she takes the opportunity to get to know them - and their leader - quite well. An unexpected journey, indeed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,905
    Chapters:
    1/10
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    69
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    588
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Modern AU: Librarian Bilbo Baggins find his unwilling attempt at online dating has landed him with a stalker in the form of Smaug, a furious and very sinister mob boss. Enter the Company, Erebor Police’s top organised crime team. An unwilling mission of close protection takes to turn for the worse and suddenly the entire team are fighting for their lives.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,679
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    214
    Bookmarks:
    64
    Hits:
    4530
  11. Tags
    Summary

    The thing was, Bilbo Baggins was fine. He was good. His life was good. He was a professor at a prestigious university, teaching literature- the first love of his life. He was loved by a lot of his peers and had a good relationship with his students as well as the Professors. He had a quaint little home gifted to him by his parents Bungo and Belladonna, who lived just a few hours’ drive from the city. He had an elder sister Prim who adored him and her husband Drogo, a distant cousin from his father’s side who liked Bilbo well enough. He had a nephew named Frodo who was just the most delightful boy Bilbo had ever laid eyes upon.

    Bilbo had his tea, his books, his everything. Yet, on a rather cloudy day, as he sat on the terrace of some building, he couldn’t help but imagine how bad would it be if he just...jumped.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,939
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    102
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    1622
  12. Tags
    Summary

    After a good deal of timeline fudging, Frodo Baggins is born to Drogo and Primula Baggins (née Brandybuck) before a certain Thirteen Dwarves and One Wizard set in motion a quest to reclaim Erebor. Needless to say, they are not pleased with the events cherry-picked from canon or the ones that are completely AU.

    A tongue-in-cheek summary for a seriously-treated AU where Bilbo and Frodo Baggins find themselves tagging along on the road to the Lonely Mountain. Includes plenty of fluff, h/c, and Angst But In A General Audiences Way. Draws from the book and the movie adaptation(s).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,559
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    61
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1518
  13. Tags
    Summary

    The Battle has been won and what Violet Baggins had thought would be a lovely reunion ended up being a nightmare that ended with her being banished from Erebor! The Burglar for the Company of Thorin Oakenshield fled the Lonely Mountain with her heart in pieces and a bit more treasure than anyone thought possible.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,584
    Chapters:
    6/10
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    523
    Bookmarks:
    227
    Hits:
    10164
  14. Tags
    Summary

    After living in Erebor for many years, Bilbo decides to bring Frodo home to the Shire to celebrate their birthday.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,148
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    228
    Bookmarks:
    38
    Hits:
    4362
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Commander Thorin Oakenshield is the leader of the first Mars mission, Project Golden Eagle, with twelve crewmen. Back on Earth, Specialist Bilbo Baggins is their communications specialist. Making history is easy; it's much harder to deal with falling in love with the person on the other end of the signal.

    EDIT 5/27/2021: Now with a new coat of shiny, immersive HTML!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,971
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    392
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Hobbiton, Shire Reckoning 1341.

    My dear readers, the time has now come to place our bets for the upcoming Shire social season. As ever, this curious period from the end of Winter to the beginning of Summer is an excellent time for the marriageable young men and women of the Kingdom of Arnor to meet one another and make advantageous matches.

    This year there is all reason to believe that King Thorin II of Erebor, who is planning to tour Eriador on a goodwill trip this spring, will also be participating in the merriment. But the most notable attendee for the past seven years has, indeed, been Bilbo Baggins, the Golden Hare of the Shire. None who have made offers to him over these past few years have been accepted, but that does not seem to stop the relentless hunt for his hand.

    Will King Thorin find his match in the Shire this season? Will we finally see the Golden Hare ensnared? Only time will tell.

    Or: five social events where Bilbo Baggins and King Thorin II of Erebor were pretending to court, and one where they weren’t. (A Bagginshield Bridgerton AU)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,220
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    200
    Bookmarks:
    48
    Hits:
    3239
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Primula Baggins comforts her tiny son when he falls ill. As Frodo goes through life, some things never change.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,399
    Chapters:
    2/4
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    77
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Fifty years have passed since the Mad King Thror of Erebor ordered the capture of the Hobbits living peacefully beside every Dwarven settlement. The Hobbits' beloved Thain-Heir, Bilbo Baggins, grew up hearing stories of the Crazed King, but she never had cause to share the hatred her mother had for the Dwarrow until the Stone Folk raided her caravan to capture her people. She doesn't know why the Children of Mahal are marching them back towards the mountain they fled from, but Bilbo certainly won't be making it easy for them. Mistaken for a simple guard of no importance, Bilbo will protect her kin and take the first chance at freedom she can grasp for them. Until then, she will hide her true identity and her Lady's Gift.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    169,729
    Chapters:
    25/?
    Comments:
    261
    Kudos:
    524
    Bookmarks:
    220
    Hits:
    17372
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Hobbit Modern AU: Two women arrive in Frogmorton Maternity Unit, neither accompanied by their husband. Can two rather uncertain Uncles-to-be survive labour?

    Disclaimer: The Hobbit was written by J R R Tolkien. Film rights belong to MGM, New Line Cinema and Warner Brothers.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,061
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    116
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    651
  20. Tags
    Summary

    El destino da muchas vueltas por lo que nadie sabe que ocurrirá, ¿Quién diría que un encuentro ocurrido hace 7 años haría latir su corazón por un enano?, ¿y quien diría que ese enano era el legitimo Rey de Erebor?.

    Bilba Bolsón ha tratado de ser una respetable Hobbit desde la muerte de su padre hace 5 años, sin embargo tanto sus primos Drogo y Prímula, como su madre Belladona y un entrometido Mago, la obligaran a viajar en contra de su voluntad por la mitad de la tierra media, en una peligrosa Búsqueda con 13 Enanos, dicho mago y su madre, haciéndola experimentar emociones que creyó olvidadas y enfrentar la difícil decisión de elegir quien realmente quiere ser, si dejar que su lado Bolsón o Tuk ganen la batalla en su interior, el deber contra el querer, ¿pero por que no puede ser ambas?, y mientras lo descubre deberá lidiar con sus sentimientos hacia cierto Enano que no deja de hacer que su corazón se brinque varios latidos desde el día en que lo conoció.

    Language:
    Español
    Words:
    51,309
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    354

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