1 - 20 of 106 Works in Osmund Priest

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    "Priest leaned in close to me, his breath hot and moist against my ear.

    'We are going to have so much fun.'"

    Todd and Dirk are captured by Blackwing

    This is my first fic so it's probably horrible but you won't know unless you try, right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,345
    Chapters:
    6/10
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    151
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Sam and Dean investigate a series of weird murders involving evisceration and fish. However, the murders are just the beginning, and they are not prepared for what accompanies a certain holistic detective.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,183
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    93
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    701
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Martin's PTSD acts up during a day out with his brothers.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,019
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    32
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Agent Cjelli (C.J. to his friends) has been a member of Blackwing for eighteen years, and working cases for the past four. He mainly wants to visit Project Lamia and go outside, but has found himself increasingly drawn to his coworker, Lieutenant Assistent. When Agent Black is assigned to their team, his life changes more than he ever could have imagined.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,077
    Chapters:
    2/9
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    42
  5. Tags
    Summary

    On the run from what's left of Torchwood, Norton Folgate accidentally spatially dislocates himself into Blackwing's compound in 2017.

    Just his luck, he looks exactly like someone they're looking for, and ends up getting involved in their holistic mess. Also his luck that he has a thing for sociopathic psychos with a penchant for violence. And the apparently 'not-psychic' man with two names that Blackwing is after. At the same bloody time.

    Norton supposes it's still better than living through the 50's.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    141,976
    Chapters:
    18/18
    Comments:
    102
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    390
  6. Tags
    Summary

    As requested, here is a collection of drabbles, all based on prompts I've gotten on tumblr (protecticarus, hence the title of this collection).
    Some are gen & some include a romantic relationship (Todd/Dirk mostly, but occasionally others too) which will be pretty clear from the prompt.
    Thank you so much for my tumblr followers for prompting, reading & liking these so far!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,796
    Chapters:
    45/?
    Comments:
    189
    Kudos:
    172
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    2258
  7. Tags
    Summary

    He has to admit, the boy is getting better at this.

    Not great, not even good, really. You’d think with all the run-ins they’d had he’d have picked up at least some useful ways of evading him by now, but he’s getting better, and that’s something he supposes. Maybe one day it’ll actually be a challenge. He doubts it.

    ***
    Prompt fill for: Osmund Priest, 37. “Wanna dance?” & 48. "Boo." ?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,060
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    56
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Sent out on a hunt Osmund Priest finds himself in a life or death situation and decides to take help that is offered to him by a man he thought was dead. He ends up in the “raw end” of a deal and now has to work for Hugo Friedkin who is laying out a path which leads to him being a man wanted for Treason and the unwanted but very much needed, body guard for Dirk, Todd, and Farah.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    127,686
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    406
  9. Tags
    Summary

    As the hunt for Adrien Greyback continues, the pack falls into hard times after Amanda has a devastating vision. As the clock ticks on, and time runs out, everyone grows increasingly more desperate. With gods on their tails, traumatized werewolves, and Osmund Priest on the loose once again, everything they have built to protect starts to fall apart at the seams.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    102,122
    Chapters:
    42/42
    Comments:
    103
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    433
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Ken sits up properly against the door and runs his hands down his face. "You scare the shit out of me." He moans.

    "It's my job, Kenny Boy." Bart tuts and kicks her gun towards him, almost a sign of peace.

     
    (Or, the one where Bart is a trained assassin and Ken is the FBI agent assigned to catch her.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,552
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    61
  11. Tags
    Summary

    A series of promptfics for Whumptober

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,986
    Chapters:
    31/31
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    761
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Todd is hunting with his sister when he meets Holistic Detective, Dirk Gently.

    He never imagined he would ever turn out to be anyone's knight in shining flannel, but it didn't really matter if they're both saving each other, anyway.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,573
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    145
  13. Tags
    Summary

    People's nightmares are manifesting in the middle of the day, and Dirk's delighted to be investigating. But the cause of the nightmares is a blast from the past, another Blackwing subject that hasn't been seen since Dirk and the Rowdies escaped.

    And they're being hunted.

    (Based on prompt 33 of the DGHDA SpookFest, thank you so much for organising, Kieren!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,537
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    14
    Hits:
    116
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Turns out there are some fundamental truths that no one can simply dismiss.

    1. Blackwing doesn't do Halloween. If something does happen and they end up celebrating, it's usually for a sick and twisted reason.

    2. Dirk Gently's plans always end up with someone bleeding and someone dying.

    3. Amanda Brotzman isn't a good driver.

    4. You never bring up the past.

    5. Farah Black should be the next James Bond.

    This is a story of how some people learn that there is always more to every truth. And to think that it all began with a simple trick-or-treating.

    Or,

    Todd can't say no to Dirk, Tina adores Farah, only Martin should drive the Oh no! van, Priest is a creepy dude and the Blackwing subjects never celebrate Halloween.

    (Oh and Ken is briefly one of the good guys.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,681
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    68
  15. Tags
    Summary

    When the reality is in danger, a message is spread all over the Universe: The promise of pain that will overcome everyone in the Cosmos. And on the verge of the end of the world, only one man can save us all. His name is Dirk Gently.

    A dysfunctional trio, a powerful pack, a missing girl, highly intelligent children, several people disappeared, a backwards clock, loads of ketchup and three words:

    Everything is connected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,560
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    300
  16. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of Drabbles for Whump-Tober.

    Day 1; Priest is trying to keep Dirk safe for their current mission.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,859
    Chapters:
    19/30
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    110
  17. Tags
    Summary

    As they made their escape in the Kellum truck, Beast insinuated herself between Dirk and Todd.

    “Beauty-beauty boyfriends brave,” she crooned, directing her singsong at anyone who’d listen.

    Amanda, processing that on top of the kiss, abruptly punched Todd in the shoulder. “You slut!”

    “Hey, ow,” Todd said, shoving her halfheartedly in return. “We don’t get a thank-you?”

    “I assure you there’s plenty of wantonness on both sides,” Dirk protested. “Mutual sluttery.”

    [COMPLETED 10/14/18, in continued response to kelspots's request for a transition into S2 events. For anon, who wanted a S1 fix-it.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,000
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    174
    Kudos:
    254
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1883
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “I’m going to kill them. I’m going to take my time with it, and you’re going to watch. You will watch them suffer and die in my hands, and do you know why they’re going to die?” Svlad was crying harder and Priest was slowly standing up, watching him with heavy eyes as he began pleading him not to. His voice already going hoarse from the tears he was choking on. He just kept smiling at him, hands sliding up to pet his hair. Running his gloved fingers through it before pulling his hand back to take the gloves off. “They’re going to die, because you don’t need them anymore. You have me now, and I’m all you’re ever going to have.” Svald was shaking his head while watching his face, a look of uncertainty in his eyes.

    “Wh-what does that mean?”

    “Oh, Svlad, this is the best part.” He was laughing while moving his hands to rest them on the boy’s arms, leaning on them and feeling them twitch and tense under his hands. “You’re mine now."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    379,256
    Chapters:
    39/?
    Comments:
    76
    Kudos:
    85
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    2143
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Despite Priest abusing him in Blackwing, Dirk has a hard time saying no when they meet again years later.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,553
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    98
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk Gently dropped out of university to become a Holistic Masseuse. Together with his odd-ball group of friends slash employees, he saves lives and cures obscure diseases, one selective client at a time. This time, he also happens to fall in love, unearth family secrets, get kidnapped by a madman with a fake moustache, and also play matchmaker to his aforementioned friends. Not necessarily in that order.

    Aka, the Holistic Massage Parlour AU literally no one asked for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,277
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    74

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