1 - 20 of 27 Works in Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster (Podcast)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    The year is 2019, and life has been quite dull for you since working in various jobs that you hate after graduating from university back in 2011. You used to do stand up comedy at uni and tried a few times after that, but you’ve been putting off pursuing it properly due to lack of confidence and motivation. Your best mates decide to encourage you to try a comedy mic night for the first time in years and there you incidentally run into an old mate of yours, comedian Rhys James. That’s when your life gets turned around as you dive into the world of the comedy circuit and become close with other famous British comedians. In the midst of it all, you end up meeting a particularly distinctive red headed fellow who could become the very thing that brings meaning to your life again.

    A/N: Had to update the timeline of this story for it to make sense to when Rhys James went to uni because otherwise the reader would not have met him there! Whoopsie.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,216
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    323
  2. Tags
    Summary

    You meet James Acaster at Ed Gamble's birthday party and the two of you hit it off. The story's a bit of a slow burner but after a while, you get closer and realise there's something more than just friendship. If you're just here for the smut skip straight to chapter 5 lmao

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,498
    Chapters:
    22/?
    Comments:
    84
    Kudos:
    216
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    4922
  3. Tags
    Summary

    During a recording of Off menu, James gets a little irate at some of the guest’s choices, completely ignoring Ed’s orders that he had in place from the beginning of the recording in the process. James knew the rules, and now, there were punishments to be dealt out…

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,945
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    516
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Moonlight streams in through the windows, gentle rays of soft, hazy, blue tinged light bathing pale skin in its cool hue as it enters through half closed blinds. All is quiet aside from delicate breaths, soft and relaxed limbs entwined together, half covered by crumpled, linen sheets.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    757
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    17
    Hits:
    196
  5. Tags
    Summary

    James has been struggling recently with his mental health, frequently becoming anxious, and overwhelmed at tasks he never used to stress over, whether it be trying to come up with new material for his shows, or even carrying out normal daily activities. Ed is beginning to notice James' change in wellbeing, picking up on how little James would engage in conversation while recording episodes of Off Menu, how he gets distracted too easily, picking up habits he never used to have such as; biting his nails, gnawing at his lip, he's also reduced his use of eye contact with Ed tenfold, where Ed had spent years prompting James to maintain it when in conversation. Ed was also picking up on how James wasn't eating all that much lately either, and whenever Ed would offer for James to accompany him for lunch after recordings, James would stutter up a poor excuse that he had things to do at home. Ed was worried to say the least.

    It was obvious that James had some issues, and Ed wanted to help him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,842
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    359
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Thoughts on an evening.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    253
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    16
    Hits:
    203
  7. Tags
    Summary

    James woke up. He didn't mean to.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,573
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    68
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    1261
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Ed and James enjoy a quiet night in together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    862
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    491
  9. Tags
    Summary

    A oneshot that went way too long, based on the song 'Cliche' by mxmtoon. There are minimal James Acaster fics online, and although I'm not much of a writer (especially when it comes to romance) I thought I'd throw my hat into the ring (I really hope that's the right context).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,527
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    47
    Hits:
    1155
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Ed loves James's hands

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    419
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    807
  11. Tags
    Summary

    AKA Five Times James And Ed Touched And One Time It Really, Really Mattered.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,743
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    86
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1093
  12. Tags
    Summary

    The lockdown is finally over, and Ed and James are reunited.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,389
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1205
  13. Tags
    Summary

    From the dialogue prompts:
    "We're not friends and you fuckin know it"
    "You look at me and my heart skips a beat"
    .
    .
    “I believe I was promised he would be on the other end of the table” You tried to project as much annoyance as possible at her.
    “Opposite sides. I said opposite sides, not opposite ends.” she says with a touch of laughter.
    “You’re lucky you’re my best friend because otherwise I would throw hands right here in the middle of your dining room.”
    “I love you too.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,697
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1231
  14. Tags
    Summary

    As the lockdown continues, Ed has a genius idea to expand his sex life with James. He just hopes that James is on board with it too.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,298
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    855
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Ed's in lockdown for 12 weeks during the COVID-19 outbreak. How will he keep his brand new relationship with James going?

    Phone sex, naturally.

    (Because someone had to do it!)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,305
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    47
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    937
  16. Tags
    Summary

    In which Ed becomes attracted to a genie, and is reluctant to use up all three of his wishes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,354
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    23
    Hits:
    248
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Dec 3: Shackles

    A genie should only ever have one master, and that master is Lord Greg.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    498
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    361
  18. Tags
    Summary

    A two-person private food tour of downtown Manhattan, I guess?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,485
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    730
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Five times James and Ed met up throughout history and once in the present-day. Very much inspired by the Good Omens characters as James Acaster quotes making the Tumblr rounds. Welcome to the show, fuck you, & et cetera.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,721
    Chapters:
    4/6
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    515
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Golf shoes are only good for rough sex, so James heard. So he took a pair to Victoria to find out just how much pain they could give him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,318
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    775

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