1 - 20 of 186 Works in Nook Eating (Homestuck)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    She was going for his waistband.
    What was she doing? What did she want with his… pants? He knew they were comfy but damn, what did she…? She couldn’t be... No. That was ridiculous. Out of the question.
    “Fine, don’t talk. That makes this easier. I refuse to take on a matesprit and I’m horny as all hell. I can’t make Terezi deal with it, she’s my moirail and I can’t make anyone else deal with it, so… You’ll have to do.”
    Oh.
    Oh no he was right.
    He didn’t like the sound of that.

    In which "the most important character in Homestuck" is bitched during the tine on the meteor in those three years after John did the time travel not time travel thing.

    I'd also like to mention that I do not condone ANY of this.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,530
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    30
    Hits:
    501
  2. Tags
    Summary


    June is not looking forward to sharing a room now that she is in college.
    But her roommate will soon change her mind.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,009
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    594
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Kinktober 2020!

    1. Bro/Eridan (TW: BDSM without a safeword)
    2. Condesce/Alpha Dave (TW: Noncon, sex slavery)
    3. Davesprite/John Egbert
    4. Cronus/Psiioniic
    5. Dave Strider/Equius (TW: mild body horror, picking)
    6. Feferi Peixes/Equius
    7. Darkleer/GHB (TW: dubcon, violence)
    8. Chixie Roixmr/Marvus Xoloto
    9. Davepetasprite/ARquisprite
    10. Dualscar/Condesce/GHB
    11. Dualscar/Cronus
    12. Latula Pyrope/Porrim Maryam
    13. Equius Zahhak/GHB/Condesce
    14. Diamonds Droog/Spades Slick
    15. Meulin Leijon/Kurloz Makara
    16. Bro/GHB
    17. Beforus Karkat/Cronus Ampora
    18. Aradia Megido/Tavros Nitram
    19. Dave Strider/Jane Crocker
    20. Gamzee Makara/Equius Zahhak
    21. Rose Lalonde/Eridan Ampora
    22. Signless/Dualscar
    23. Cronus Ampora/Damara Megido/Eridan Ampora
    24. Gamzee Makara/Nepeta Leijon
    25. Summoner/Darkleer
    26. Equius Zahhak/Vriska Serket
    27. Chahut Maenad/Skylla Koriga
    28. GHB/Condesce/Karkat Vantas (TW: noncon, mind control)
    29. Jade Harley/Sollux Captor/Mituna Captor
    30. Dave Strider/Momlonde (TW: mommy kink, age gap)
    31. Dirk/Rose/Gamzee

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,667
    Chapters:
    31/31
    Comments:
    78
    Kudos:
    137
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    4122
  4. Tags
    Summary

    If you asked Kankri Vantas how he had ended up here, his answer would be: G99d questi9n.
    Yes, he would absolutely love to explore this train of thought with you later in great detail until you two can figure it out together, but at the moment, he was a bit busy.
    Someone had taken his whistle, and there were a few trolls advancing on him.

    This is... purely a guilty pleasure story that I thought up at w o r k .

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,910
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    880
  5. Tags
    Summary

    It wasn’t your first kiss with Karkat.

    No, that came not long after the birth of Circlejerk. You were hanging out in his backyard, both of you red faced and practically ready to throw up. You were talking about girls you liked, and kisses, of course, came up. Then you found out he hadn’t had his first kiss, you hadn’t either, though you tried to play it off. It was lame. Stupid.

    Karkat kissed you right on your mouth at 6pm on the 18th of May eight years ago. Then, for a few months, things were weird between you, more intimate. You told each other so many secrets, gave up so many fears. You let him see you without your shades. You didn’t kiss again after that, but you didn’t need to. It was after that kiss that Karkat really, truly became your best friend-something more. You want your kisses with Jade to feel like that, like they complete you. The two times you’ve kissed Karkat are seared hot and bright into your memory. They brand you and bind you to him eternally.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,861
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    58
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    504
  6. Tags
    Summary

    ”Dave, I’m saying this because I know you’re not enough of a buldgesucking nooksniffer to tell anyone about this, okay? If you do tell anyone please expect to have your grub chute swiftly detached from your cranium as swiftly as I can put together a 6” cold cut combo.”

    You swallow, nodding slowly. He’s gonna ask you to go on a mission to kill this guy, real John Tucker Must Die shit, maybe you’ll have to seduce him with your charm and sick raps, or maybe Karkat will just make you play watchdog while he does the deed. Karkat looks at you funny, and you realize that you’ve been mumbling to yourself without noticing. He disregards you, again.

    ”Would you……..like to come over...and engage in your human version of fast paced quadrant replacement? Not permanently, of course, but just for tonight?” His voice is shaky and hesitant, like he fully expects you to say no and make fun of him like that isn’t the hottest offer you’ve been given.

    Karkat wants to have rebound sex with you. Yeah, of course you’d much prefer to take him on some bitching date where you show him how smooth and totally better than some stoner clown you can be, but beggars can’t be choosers.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,168
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    565
  7. Tags
    Summary

    the nasty parts of ch 35

    can be read standalone

    Exposition for standalone reading: Sollux has recently been released from the psychiatric hospital but is still having a tough time and seeks out Gamzee to help him take his mind off things for a while. Note that Sollux is recovering from mobility and speech issues as a result of a mental breakdown, but it is only a minor detail and won't distract from the work if you're reading this out of context from the main story.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,628
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    412
  8. Tags
    Summary

    What's hotter than lingerie? The punchline is that this time, you're not the one wearing it.

    Quick smut fic from my tumblr.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,597
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    614
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Feferi keeps a shrunken-down Karkat as a pet, and doesn't quite grasp that just because he's in a tank doesn't mean he likes it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,126
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    1267
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is Karkat Vantas and your life is a really depressing joke.

    Or, a mutant and a reject helmsman meet up in a bar.

     

    (NaNoWriMo 2019)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,951
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    125
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    4248
  11. Tags
    Summary

    While exploring her new universe, Terezi stumbles upon the Land of Passion and Sanguine, a realm inhabited by zealots that worship her and her friends like gods. Their main way of celebrating is with temple-wide orgies and banquets, both things that Terezi can definitely get behind. Commissioned by anonymous.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,273
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    1061
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Dave and Karkat are trapped in a room on the meteor that gets smaller every time they lie. ;)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,591
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    188
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    2937
  13. Tags
    Summary

    your name is KARKAT VANTAS and you have a big problem.

    It started a few days ago. You thought it was nothing to be worried about but it has only gotten worse. Eventually, you decided to go ask your most trusted friend, Dave Strider.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,799
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    33
    Hits:
    548
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Gamzee and Equius have some maid RP funtimes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,874
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    736
  15. Tags
    Summary

    "I'M SO ABSOLUTELY BLISSED THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR STUPID IMMORTALLY SMOOTH HUMAN FACE SKIN EVERY DAY AND NOT HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT."

    alt. Title: How I learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Recent Homestuck^2 Update

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    613
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    107
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    1232
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat discovers a hitch in his otherwise perfect relationships with his red quads. Spreadsheets aren't going to solve it, but by god he tries. Eridan and Sollux take a more direct approach.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,882
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    100
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    930
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Dave comes home with a surprise for Karkat, and one thing leads to another. Leading to their couch getting ruined, leading to both of them needing a shower.

    An RP turned into a fic for your reading pleasures.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,344
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    128
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1875
  18. Tags
    Summary

    The old joke goes "A cannoneer, a helmsman, and a threshecutioner walk into a bar. The cannoneer orders himself a drink because he's lost his job, the helmsman orders himself two drinks because he's lost his ship, and the threshie orders the rest of the bar because he's only blown up one freighter."

    It's kind of like that, except Karkat doesn't have that kind of alcohol tolerance and you still have a job.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,344
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    66
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    421
  19. Tags
    Summary

    When someone asks for Sollux getting his nook eaten in a pale way, I feel honour bound to deliver.

    Why do you assume you're the smartest in the room?
    Soon that attitude may be your doom
    Why do you write like you're running out of time?
    Write day and night like you're running out of time?
    Every day you fight, like you're running out of time
    - Troll Charlotte Brontë

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,221
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    268
  20. Tags
    Summary

    After a delightful first date (Second Base Desserts), the plan had been made for a movie night. Though now that the movie is playing and the scene is set, it's not nearly as important as the attractive sprite that's already got a plan of their own in mind!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,647
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    230

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