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Summary
Famous Director David Strider finds out his estranged brother, Dietrich Strider, has a couple of kids he told nobody about, and he rightfully wants to meet them. So he drops everything and flies to Houston, like any reasonable person would.
Unfortunately for David, Dietrich is not a reasonable person.
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Dave is home alone playing on his computer when he gets a random message from a name he doesn't recognise, and they claim to be his uncle. Dirk and Dave decide to meet him.
It's the best decision they ever made.
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The Good, The Bad, and The Alternative by Madam_Melon_Meow, sarcasticcelery
Fandoms: Homestuck
18 Mar 2024
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Three years ago, on John Egbert's birthday, the world ended. Three years ago, Jade Harley and Vriska Serket vanished alongside billions of others. Three years ago, the apocalypse arrived, transforming everything and revealing much that was hidden to those who remained.
Three years ago, the meteors (mostly!) missed Houston, and that's where John's headed today. In Houston, Rose Lalonde searches for washed-up traces of magic, warily overseen by Kanaya and her old friend Dave. In Texas, the newly dubbed "alternatives" maintain a newfound alliance with the humans they saved--and a wary truce with the Hunter forces that once kept all these creatures of fable and fairytale a secret from the world of man.
And here, in Houston, the world is about to change once again.
An urban fantasy monsterstuck AU featuring the beta kids, beta trolls, and their guardians. Updates every other Saturday!
Series
- Part 1 of Monsterstuck: Suburban Catastrophe
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Your name is Dirk Strider, and you think you're going insane. You say this, because you're only about 80% sure that vampires aren't real. That's insane.
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When a young and parentless boy gets adopted into a troll friend group, he unknowingly starts a rivalry between himself and the short, shouty leader of the group. Completely unaware that this is the beginning of the end of his normal, totally cool, and completely trauma-free teenage life.
A Davekat Lilo and Stitch au
Don't worry, it isn't a direct copy and paste of the movie, but you'll notice some similarities here and there! -
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You skipped three classes. He emailed “checking in” on you. You ghosted all four emails and showed up only for the next exam. He graded it within three days and passed it back to you with, as mentioned, his number scrawled on the last page.
Green ink. Pretentious handwriting. A *heart* next to the last digit, and a cheeky little “call me.” You took a picture, sent it to Roxy, and burnt the test off the roof of your apartment complex in a barrel you picked up from the nearby scrapyard.
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You knew going out without that stupid mask would bite you in the ass soon.
And of course your dumbass forgot your inhaler, so your chest feels tight, and you’re silently freaking out while you finish some spam you made for lunch, flashing Dave a little smile when you meet his gaze. You’re back inside and bathed now (thank God), sitting on stools at a fancy little counter behind the kitchen sink, technically in the dining room.
You try to keep your breaths silent and slow, you don’t want him to hear that disgusting wheeze from your swollen lungs, but your rapid heartbeat is demanding otherwise. I need air, asshole, your body is screaming, so you breathe faster and louder so as not to faint. You stare off into the kitchen, concentrating. Chewing your food slowly. Trying to breathe.
Of course you notice John’s acting weird. Of course. He’s the only other person around, he’s perhaps the biggest part of your life.
He’s very obviously trying to hide whatever it is, flashing you quick smiles whenever your eyes meet over the counter, so you say nothing. Until his breathing starts picking up noticeably.
“Are you... okay, dude?”
Series
- Part 2 of Apocalypsestuck
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Nepeta and Terezi are matesprits and it's cute. Not much more to say.
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Dave hates holiday shopping, but if he never went shopping he would've never met Karkat at the bookstore he worked at. The two quickly hit it off and we get to read about them working through and figuring out their relationship.
(Tags are under construction and will be updated periodically)
((Smut will likely occur in later chapters, but sexual content is sorta discussed throughout parts of the story)) -
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or, "Subtitle: Just So You Know, It's A Story About Christmas"
With a pending divorce hanging over his head, Jake travels from the city to visit his family in the country for the Christmas holiday, during which he encounters the new ranch hand, Dirk. Will Jake be charmed by this flannel-wearing man who moved to his hometown while he was away? Will they manage to overcome several ridiculous miscommunications that could have been solved with a simple question, and fall in love just in time to kiss under the mistletoe?
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Dirk Strider is a frazzled detective working on Skaia to catch a notorious criminal mastermind, Jake English. English is notorious for his mastery of disguises and his paradoxically philanthropic pursuits. When Dirk thinks he uncovers English's next big plot to destroy the city, he soon learns that there's more to the scheme-- and to English-- than he thought.
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You wake up, and it’s like any other time you wake up. You wake up, and it feels like you're falling through water.
Three years ago a game should've started.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 453
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 6
- Hits:
- 26
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Rose Lalonde, devoted housewife, except when she decides she isn't. Rose Lalonde, cruel goddess, wreathed in metal she tasked someone else to forge. Rose Lalonde, a nexus of contradictions.
Aradia Megido, recent resident of the Candy timeline's Earth C, decides to take it upon herself to investigate.
(UltRose <3< UltAradia.)
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What happens when a daughter, fighting a resistance all her life, becomes the thing she swore she wouldn't?
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You can’t bring yourself to turn away from the window. There’s an unbearably long moment of silence while you beckon Dave over with a wave of your hand, and Houston is bathed in white light from a horrific sunrise. Only it’s not the sun, and the light gives way to a silent mushroom cloud, blasting debris up into the atmosphere. It looks like shooting stars.
You don’t hear the impact until eleven seconds later.
And you don’t feel it for another two seconds, but oh, it’s great. The entire city shakes as the Earth is split and forced to crumble into itself, knocking you off Dave’s desk. The building seems to sway. You can hear it, a long, deep, loud groan that shakes you to your core. The light dies down, and all that’s in the distance is fire.
Series
- Part 1 of Apocalypsestuck
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Just your average secret identity vigilante-style Homestuck fic, featuring heroes and villains and vigilantes and absolutely nothing else unexpected at all.
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College freshman Jake English is doing fiiiine. Sure, his high school friends don’t talk to him anymore, and maybe he hasn’t gotten around to making new ones, but surely getting laid at frat parties is a viable alternative?
There’s no way one night can change his life, even if it features a strange allegorical trip courtesy of a certain drug- and hope- (and love?-) fueled hallucination of his ex-boyfriend.
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Karkat is working at his brother's stupid coffeeshop, when a douchebag walks in, refusing to give a name for his order. When the jackass decides to go with the name of an asshole movie director who Karkat was forced to study in his Contemporary Film class, he can't really be blamed for not believing him, right?
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Aradia finds herself alone at homecoming and through some odd shenanigans and cat girls she now has to pretend to be filling a quadrant with some blue and red glasses nerd she found. How could this ever go wrong?
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john brings roxy to a cat coffee shop for her birthday
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 382
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 14
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john and dave go on a cute themepark date and have an awkward first kiss.
based off of when i had my first kiss.
also keep in mind i havent written fanfic since grade 6 there is 3 years worth of rust on my fanfic writing bones i need more practice to fully excavate myself from this disgusting tomb my years of laziness has buried me in- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 424
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 10
- Hits:
- 99