1 - 20 of 45 Works in No Ecto-Penis (Undertale)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    The barrier of underfell is broken. It's been a month, and monsters are finally allowed to move into the city. You're staying in a small cheap apartment waiting for your newest property to finish, when you get a rude noisy neighbor. Does he really have to play his music so loudly. It's not even good music. You're sick of this. You're not listening to him stomping around, yelling or… playing video games. Oh wait, you know that video game . Time to put special plan "get back at your jerk neighbor" into action. Just because your a vampire and stay up all night, doesn't mean he can be a jerk.

    A story about developing friendship, good laughs, and teaching Sans the meaning of friendship and love, when all he's known is the horrible world of Underfell.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    248,361
    Chapters:
    51/?
    Comments:
    3668
    Kudos:
    4542
    Bookmarks:
    513
    Hits:
    59772
  2. Tags
    Summary

    The kid has wiped the world clean, you've forgotten your past life with Sans and the monsters. You can't explain the sudden attraction and trust you feel when you meet him in Grillby's bar. Vivid visions of the skeleton start to invade your thoughts, and you can't shake the familiarity of his presence. You're also inexplicably haunted by nightmares and have a deep-rooted fear of cats...

    Can you convince Sans you belong together, or will this be the reset where he doesn't fall for you?

     

    *Us In Motion Playlist, any song mentioned specifically and played will be added to playlist as it appears in the updates. : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlsnUBc5D3oZbaPY1zncoBNkr-b3EKlC5

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,071
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    229
  3. Tags
    Summary

    "Oh now you're just being hurtful." His bony hand rests against the freezer door.

    You chuckle as you stand upright. You manage to turn before he slams the fridge door shut and shoves you against it. You smile lustfully up at him as he bares his teeth in a hungry leer. His hand pins you by your collar bone, just inches from your neck.

    "Maybe I want to try the hurting for a change?" You ask as he leans closer.

    He freezes. "What?" He asks in disbelief.

    You shrug as he steps back. "I mean, I'm constantly covered in bruises, bites and blood. Not that I mind. But I wonder sometimes..." His face falls as you push against his chest until he takes another step back. You blink and look up at him. "What you would look like tied up, bruised, begging for release?"

     

     

    *playlist of the chapter titles: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlsnUBc5D3oaVUyGPmqhkf-qQ5oey4Icf

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    77,354
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    268
    Kudos:
    497
    Bookmarks:
    62
    Hits:
    9370
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Sans comes up with a once-in-a-lifetime prank, specially-made for Papyrus. Said skeleton is woefully under prepared to thwart it, but does he even want to?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,052
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    415
  5. Tags
    Summary

    You work at a small coffee shop in the city filled with monsters, and it seems your boss just hired a monster to work with you. The monster is quite rude, annoying, and oddly sounds like your online friend?? Maybe they’re the same person? But that can’t be possible, your friend is much nicer than him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,833
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    606
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Mettaton is enjoying life in his new body. He takes his time getting ready for his day, reveling in the feel of things touching his newly-sensitive skin. As he gets ready though, something feels different emotionally....

    There is a woman who has come into his life, and decisions that would have been simple before are suddenly complicated by his feelings. When the woman appears before him, will she help him to find the answer to his question?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,056
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    42
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Due to complications and burning buildings, Red's out of work until his work office can be restored. At first, Red was ecstatic; he could finally just chill at home and do whatever he wanted!
    However, early on, he realizes his biggest problem: Sans is at work while Red's home.
    So, with boredom eating at him, and his desperate desire to see Sans more... Red begins to fantasize.
    About Sans.
    Fucking him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,500
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    491
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Welp... you fell down. Into a cave. With monsters. Mean monsters. The all want to kill you, but the problem is... they can't. Being a vampire does have it's perks, but it can also be a problem when you need to bite someone with blood and everyone around you is made of magic. Hopefully you'll get out in time, or those monsters will finally get that final soul. Not to mention, the monster you currently have captured and strapped to your back has been threatening to murder you from the get go and hasn't proved helpful at all... Well... maybe he can be helpful... actually... hes kinda cute... in his own way

    And his neck is looking tastier by the day...

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,894
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    258
    Kudos:
    848
    Bookmarks:
    153
    Hits:
    7900
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Flowey captures Sans and decides to have some fun.

    It's torture porn, yo.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,833
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    899
  10. Tags
    Summary

    When you fell into the Underground, you were only 13.

    Found by Toriel, you didn't hesitate to go with her. You lived with the goat monster who had taken you in and, though you knew that there was more to be explored, you never wished to leave the place you resided in. For 8 years, everything was perfect. You finally found a place that you called home.

    Then someone else fell down - Frisk.

    When they fell down, you watched as the world around you seemingly became a game. It started with the odd sense of deja vu that seemed to become a regular occurrence in your life. Once you watched the child murder Toriel in cold blood for the first time only for the loving monster to reappear with no recollection of what had happened, you knew something was wrong.

    You began to lock yourself in your room whenever everything restarted and, once the child left, you would reappear to discover what had happened in your absence. After this constant pattern, it seemed as if Frisk had finally forgotten your existence in the flood of resets and timelines.

    Time forgot your existence and that was fine with you.

    However, everything changed once again when you were the one to answer the knocking on the old ruin doors.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    71,891
    Chapters:
    21/?
    Comments:
    756
    Kudos:
    1003
    Bookmarks:
    218
    Hits:
    15602
  11. Tags
    Summary

    (Based off poetax's story The skeleton games, I love the concept of a vampire reader.)
    Have you ever wondered what kind of trouble sans and his stinky 'human' neighbor get up to?
    well you've come to the right place! see as this snarky duo get up to some fun scenarios.

    (Oneshots based off of The Skeleton Games, this happens after sans finds out she's a vampire--unless stated otherwise in the notes of the chapter)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    829
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    236
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Living together was calm and comfortable.

    But even in a warm relationship, that just feels like home, you can‘t help but have your own little secrets, your own problems. Your own things that make your insides shiver and that you hid from the others, even if they didn‘t let you sleep at night.

    Where you and some skeletons discover that it's not ok to bottle everything up.
    One day, you just can't do that anymore.
    One day you break down.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,277
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    86
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    955
  13. Tags
    Summary

    You didn't think you would be able to take the sight and sound of a vibrator taped to your skeleton boyfriend's crotch seriously.

    You were wrong.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,168
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    144
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    3460
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Sans has his way with you on the couch.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,590
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    287
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    5159
  15. Tags
    Summary

    You were a fence, selling illegal goods brought to you to turn up a quick profit. It was when the infamous W.D., who ran one of the biggest monster gangs around, contacted you that you knew things were about to change.

    (A Sans/Reader Mobster AU)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,005
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    403
    Bookmarks:
    50
    Hits:
    4477
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Mettaton has never been with a skeleton before.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,601
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    145
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1539
  17. Tags
    Summary

    The barrier is broken, and the monsters of Underswap now live in Ebott city. You need a new maid for your house. The last one quit, just like every other one has before. It's not your fault... Ok so maybe it kinda is. Your house is really messy and, more importantly, you're a succubus and you drive all your maids crazy. The last one tried to murder their entire family in hopes of getting with you.... Still not your fault. Hopefully they send someone better next time. Someone who can withstand your natural allure. There's a ring at the door and you answer it to someone unexpected. Isn't this... the little monster you met the other day?

    How do you teach a succubus about love when she lives in a world where she's always had everything she's ever wanted? How will Blue be able to handle someone as inappropriate and slothful as our reader?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,436
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    111
    Kudos:
    318
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    2131
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Grillby has endured Sans' tab for a long time without a single word of protest.
    That's about to change.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,428
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    90
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    943
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Every single living being - human or monster - has a distinct soul song.

    Since you were young, you have always been able to hear these songs. As you grew up, you built your life around your ability. Building yourself a career in music, you soon became well known due to your ability to 'create' music that perfectly fits the person the song is based off of. While you listened to these songs that seemed to flow out of the people around you, you were unaware of just what you were hearing until monsters came to the surface.

    Once the existence of souls was announced, you were forced to realize you were turning the entirety of a person's soul into music. Learning that souls were seen as something personal to monsters, you became fearful of playing your music around monsters. You didn't want to accidentally insult an entire species by turning their souls into music. Once you accidentally play a monster's soul song for the first time, you end up with a gig at Grillby's.

    It's at that bar that you meet a wonderful gang of monsters as well as a particular skeleton who seems pretty curious about your abilities.

    Of course, there's a chance that some may plan to abuse your talent for their own personal gain...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,811
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    231
    Kudos:
    419
    Bookmarks:
    80
    Hits:
    4435
  20. Tags
    Summary

    The barrier under Mt. Ebott broke over a week ago. Monsters poured from the enterance settling in a run down resort at the base of the mountain. Government officials, military, and regular citizens are confused how to handle these new people. After years of exile underground can humans and monsters really work together.

     

    There is one faction that has been left out from this story. One that has been living quietly among the humans for years. No, not mages silly, witches.
    How can people who are so different, learn to see the similarities in each other. How are you gonna convince Papyrus you aren’t a magical girl.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,905
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    104
    Kudos:
    380
    Bookmarks:
    65
    Hits:
    3892

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