1 - 20 of 51 Works in No Ecto-Penis (Undertale)

Pages Navigation

Listing Works

  1. Tags
    Summary

    Your friends had been trying to convince you to get out and meet somebody for a while. After waking up one day and realizing you were twenty seven, hadn’t gotten laid in five years, and were considering buying a cat so your apartment didn’t feel so empty all the time, you realized they might be right. So, you sign up for a blind dating service, absentmindedly shrugging and clicking yes when it asked if you would consider matching with monsters.

    You couldn’t have expected your blind date to be a skeleton. Or that he’d actually be very pleasant company. In fact, you liked him enough to keep seeing him, but… even as you start to feel interested, he kinda creeps you out?

    You’re caught up in a weird frightened romance, but thankfully Sans is a patient guy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    99,964
    Chapters:
    29/?
    Comments:
    1030
    Kudos:
    1087
    Bookmarks:
    158
    Hits:
    13504
  2. Tags
    Summary

    When you fell into the Underground, you were only 13.

    Found by Toriel, you didn't hesitate to go with her. You lived with the goat monster who had taken you in and, though you knew that there was more to be explored, you never wished to leave the place you resided in. For 8 years, everything was perfect. You finally found a place that you called home.

    Then someone else fell down - Frisk.

    When they fell down, you watched as the world around you seemingly became a game. It started with the odd sense of deja vu that seemed to become a regular occurrence in your life. Once you watched the child murder Toriel in cold blood for the first time only for the loving monster to reappear with no recollection of what had happened, you knew something was wrong.

    You began to lock yourself in your room whenever everything restarted and, once the child left, you would reappear to discover what had happened in your absence. After this constant pattern, it seemed as if Frisk had finally forgotten your existence in the flood of resets and timelines.

    Time forgot your existence and that was fine with you.

    However, everything changed once again when you were the one to answer the knocking on the old ruin doors.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    79,185
    Chapters:
    24/?
    Comments:
    880
    Kudos:
    1278
    Bookmarks:
    274
    Hits:
    18530
  3. Tags
    Summary

    A centuries old vampire is dealing with another life she’s created while she struggles with Philophobia. While she deals with her most recent obstacle, she somehow can’t seem to get enough of the monsters that recently resurfaced just two years ago; Nor of the skeletons that learn about her secret. How will they react when she takes on her job with it all on her shoulders?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,736
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    45
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Applying kegels to souls is generally not Sans' idea of a good time. Red convinces him otherwise.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,772
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    168
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1754
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Welp... you fell down. Into a cave. With monsters. Mean monsters. The all want to kill you, but the problem is... they can't. Being a vampire does have it's perks, but it can also be a problem when you need to bite someone with blood and everyone around you is made of magic. Hopefully you'll get out in time, or those monsters will finally get that final soul. Not to mention, the monster you currently have captured and strapped to your back has been threatening to murder you from the get go and hasn't proved helpful at all... Well... maybe he can be helpful... actually... hes kinda cute... in his own way

    And his neck is looking tastier by the day...

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,627
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    425
    Kudos:
    1532
    Bookmarks:
    243
    Hits:
    15772
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The barrier of underfell is broken. It's been a month, and monsters are finally allowed to move into the city. You're staying in a small cheap apartment waiting for your newest property to finish, when you get a rude noisy neighbor. Does he really have to play his music so loudly. It's not even good music. You're sick of this. You're not listening to him stomping around, yelling or… playing video games. Oh wait, you know that video game . Time to put special plan "get back at your jerk neighbor" into action. Just because your a vampire and stay up all night, doesn't mean he can be a jerk.

    A story about developing friendship, good laughs, and teaching Sans the meaning of friendship and love, when all he's known is the horrible world of Underfell.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    270,669
    Chapters:
    55/?
    Comments:
    4420
    Kudos:
    6238
    Bookmarks:
    758
    Hits:
    86964
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Sans helps Red whenever he struggles with allowing himself to be vulnerable. Chapter two involves Red showing his gratitude to Sans for all of the love.

    Read tags and additional notes for warnings!!!!

    Honestly? Please help me come up with a good title for this i CAN'T DECIDE and i am horrible with titles >:(

    *changes the title a g a i n* whoopsie ok i think this one is here to stay ??? but i can't be sure

    Fic is marked as complete since the first two chapters can be considered a two-shot, but I may or may not add future chapters to go along with the idea I've set up. (I already have a third chapter plotted out oops--)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,854
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    97
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1277
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Reader comes home stressful can Sans and Geno help them relax?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,952
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    498
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Error wakes up to discover his worst fear has come true.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,202
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    61
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    916
  10. Tags
    Summary

    When Sans approaches Red with a proposition, Red takes it the wrong way. Miscommunication leads to Sans' first time being tied up. (Sacrum lacing, that is.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,371
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    189
    Bookmarks:
    40
    Hits:
    2593
  11. Tags
    Summary

    The kid has wiped the world clean, you've forgotten your past life with Sans and the monsters. You can't explain the sudden attraction and trust you feel when you meet him in Grillby's bar. Vivid visions of the skeleton start to invade your thoughts, and you can't shake the familiarity of his presence. You're also inexplicably haunted by nightmares and have a deep-rooted fear of cats...

    Can you convince Sans you belong together, or will this be the reset where he doesn't fall for you?

     

     *I'm probably going to get into the habit of updating every two weeks. That timeline really worked for me with the last chapter, I had time to edit and get everything right without pressuring myself.*

    **Us In Motion Playlist, any song mentioned specifically and played will be added to playlist as it appears in the updates. : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlsnUBc5D3oZbaPY1zncoBNkr-b3EKlC5

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,436
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    72
    Kudos:
    106
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1607
  12. Tags
    Summary

    "Oh now you're just being hurtful." His bony hand rests against the freezer door.

    You chuckle as you stand upright. You manage to turn before he slams the fridge door shut and shoves you against it. You smile lustfully up at him as he bares his teeth in a hungry leer. His hand pins you by your collar bone, just inches from your neck.

    "Maybe I want to try the hurting for a change?" You ask as he leans closer.

    He freezes. "What?" He asks in disbelief.

    You shrug as he steps back. "I mean, I'm constantly covered in bruises, bites and blood. Not that I mind. But I wonder sometimes..." His face falls as you push against his chest until he takes another step back. You blink and look up at him. "What you would look like tied up, bruised, begging for release?"

     

     

    *playlist of the chapter titles: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlsnUBc5D3oaVUyGPmqhkf-qQ5oey4Icf

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    77,354
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    274
    Kudos:
    550
    Bookmarks:
    73
    Hits:
    10798
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Sans comes up with a once-in-a-lifetime prank, specially-made for Papyrus. Said skeleton is woefully under prepared to thwart it, but does he even want to?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,052
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    78
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1548
  14. Tags
    Summary

    You work at a small coffee shop in the city filled with monsters, and it seems your boss just hired a monster to work with you. The monster is quite rude, annoying, and oddly sounds like your online friend?? Maybe they’re the same person? But that can’t be possible, your friend is much nicer than him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,833
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    91
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    850
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Mettaton is enjoying life in his new body. He takes his time getting ready for his day, reveling in the feel of things touching his newly-sensitive skin. As he gets ready though, something feels different emotionally....

    There is a woman who has come into his life, and decisions that would have been simple before are suddenly complicated by his feelings. When the woman appears before him, will she help him to find the answer to his question?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,056
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    90
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Due to complications and burning buildings, Red's out of work until his work office can be restored. At first, Red was ecstatic; he could finally just chill at home and do whatever he wanted!
    However, early on, he realizes his biggest problem: Sans is at work while Red's home.
    So, with boredom eating at him, and his desperate desire to see Sans more... Red begins to fantasize.
    About Sans.
    Fucking him.

    First chapter can be read as a one-shot. Second chapter is still yet to come out, if ever, but the second chapter was mostly a bonus, anyway.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,500
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    47
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    1085
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Flowey captures Sans and decides to have some fun.

    It's torture porn, yo.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,833
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    99
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1796
  18. Tags
    Summary

    (Based off poetax's story The skeleton games, I love the concept of a vampire reader.)
    Have you ever wondered what kind of trouble sans and his stinky 'human' neighbor get up to?
    well you've come to the right place! see as this snarky duo get up to some fun scenarios.

    (Oneshots based off of The Skeleton Games, this happens after sans finds out she's a vampire--unless stated otherwise in the notes of the chapter)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    829
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    378
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Living together was calm and comfortable.

    But even in a warm relationship, that just feels like home, you can‘t help but have your own little secrets, your own problems. Your own things that make your insides shiver and that you hid from the others, even if they didn‘t let you sleep at night.

    Where you and some skeletons discover that it's not ok to bottle everything up.
    One day, you just can't do that anymore.
    One day you break down.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,277
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    109
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1322
  20. Tags
    Summary

    You didn't think you would be able to take the sight and sound of a vibrator taped to your skeleton boyfriend's crotch seriously.

    You were wrong.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,168
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    220
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    5097

Filters

Filter results:
Submit

Include

?
Include Ratings
Include Warnings
Include Categories
Include Fandoms
Include Characters
Include Relationships
Include Additional Tags

Exclude

?
Exclude Ratings
Exclude Warnings
Exclude Categories
Exclude Fandoms
Exclude Characters
Exclude Relationships
Exclude Additional Tags

More Options

Crossovers
Completion Status
Word Count
Date Updated
Submit

Pages Navigation