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  1. Tags
    Summary

    This AU is inspired by an ask that I sent to @danieljradcliffe whilst I was watching the episode where David talks about being hustled by a postman. It was then when @fraudulentzodiac suggested the following:

     

    AU where Patrick is a mailman and David lives on his route, and they manage to get off on the wrong foot somehow, but David thinks he has to pay him, so Patrick goes with it, since he has to put up with this guy pestering him for his packages, he may as well get something out of it. But then Pat starts liking him and has to confess he doesn’t need to pay.

    This is also partially inspired by Noah's Gemini Album, please enjoy! I will update it as much as possible. Tags will be added as the story goes on.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,688
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    343
  2. Tags
    Summary

    David Rose stepped out of the rental car and pulled his suitcase from the trunk. He slipped the weekender bag over his shoulder and stared up at the house before him. It never stopped to amaze him that his parents had managed to build such a mammoth of a home in such a small town. Then again, avoiding a place for almost a decade would change anyone’s perspective.

    -----

    David returns home to Schitt's Creek after a ten year absence for his sister's wedding where he is forced to face not only the reasons he left in the first place, but the mistakes that he's made along the way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,638
    Chapters:
    6/10
    Comments:
    90
    Kudos:
    141
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    1907
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Welcome to Big Brother! 16 contestants must compete against each other for a chance to win $500,000 in a house wired with cameras and microphones, capturing their every move for a TV and Internet audience. The twist? They all already know someone else in the house; exes, family members, old friends, enemies. Who will make it to the end?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    177,526
    Chapters:
    29/?
    Comments:
    258
    Kudos:
    166
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    6565
  4. Tags
    Summary

    The prologue of the young lives of Johnny and Moira Rose, how they met, married, and grew the Rose family before landing themselves in Schitt's Creek. Let's take a deep dive into who these people are and how they developed into the wonderful characters we know and love.

    Eventually David and Alexis. Daily Updates!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,973
    Chapters:
    3/15
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    127
  5. Tags
    Summary

    What if Moira was the one who took the pregnancy test (not Jocelyn)?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,432
    Chapters:
    71/?
    Comments:
    276
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    3454
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Even in his half asleep state Patrick is conscious that anyone calling in the dead of night must have a good reason. He really hoped that it wasn’t one of his parents, but then again who else would call him in the middle of the night, it must be an emergency.

    He manages to grab the phone and he blinks a couple of times at the screen until his eyes focus on the name on the caller display, when he sees who is calling, his blood runs cold.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,507
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    48
    Kudos:
    103
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1438
  7. Tags
    Summary

    David thinks Patrick Brewer, junior captain of the Schitt's Creek University baseball team, is cocky and obnoxious. Patrick thinks David Rose, son of the university's president, is stuck-up and aloof. But all of their friends can see they're in love with each other, and hatch a plot to make them fall for each other.

    First-year Alexis has her eye on senior baseball team captain Ted Mullins. But their budding romance is put into question when Ted thinks he sees Alexis kissing someone else. Chaos ensues.

    -----

    A retelling of Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,214
    Chapters:
    4/24
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    556
  8. Tags
    Summary

    David Rose is the proprietor of Schitt's Creek's very own Rose Erotica, Elm County's only adult store.

    Patrick Brewer is newly out, and is a little ignorant to the wonders of sex

    Thankfully there is a cute store owner who can help him learn a thing or two.

     

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,090
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    108
    Kudos:
    235
    Bookmarks:
    48
    Hits:
    4769
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Alexis comes home the morning after her breakup with Ted, and as much as her family wants to help, they don't know how to approach the loss of her her first real love.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,943
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    111
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “District 1, your tributes for the 67th annual Hunger Games, David and Alexis Rose!”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,681
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    82
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Patrick and David have been married for six months

     

    Like the whole world they find themselves locked down at home. They have to close Rose Apothecary temporarily and live their lives locked down in their home with no other family nearby. During this strange time Patrick has to find ways to keep David sane and calm.

     

    Will this experience change David and Patrick forever?
    Will the store go bankrupt or will it thrive when life can un pause?

    READ TO FIND OUT

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    671
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    382
  12. Tags
    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    300
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    47
  13. Tags
    Summary

    David is smiling.

    It’s a barely-there smile, the corners of his mouth twisting up almost like he resents their doing so. It’s a smile that makes Patrick think this is not the first time this has happened, that David is the kind of guy who only has to kiss someone once before he gets offers like this.

    (An AU in which Patrick works at Rose Video and knows David Rose without knowing his last name.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,545
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    294
    Bookmarks:
    51
    Hits:
    4461
  14. Tags
    Summary

    David’s first real memory of Patrick involved a scraped knee, a dandelion, and a sunny smile that, upon recounting the tale of how they met, left him blushing so hard Alexis had singsonged “David and Patrick sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” for a solid week.

    The story of Prince David and Bodyguard Patrick from the very beginning. Updates weekly because we are starting the New Year off right!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,746
    Chapters:
    3/5
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    83
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    799
  15. Tags
    Summary

    David and Patrick's first year of marriage, as shown through a selection of their tweets.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,157
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    143
    Kudos:
    329
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    1459
  16. Tags
    Summary

    The whole way to Alexis and Ted's apartment, both Rose parents asked about Alexis--how she looked, how she felt--because they hadn't seen her in person since July when she told them the news. "How is my dear bebe girl?" Moira first asked. "And her almost-bebe girl?" The Mullens got home before the other four and greeted them at the door when they arrived.

     

     

    An expanded scene from "I Promise You, I'm Always There." Moira and Johnny are very excited to see Alexis when they fly to New York for Christmas.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,740
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    112
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Patrick Brewer has made plans for as long as he can remember; whether mentally, on paper, or on a spreadsheet or graph of some sort. When he turned 30, he made a plan for the next five years. The only goal left unchecked? Get engaged (and stay engaged).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,135
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    173
  18. Tags
    Summary

    When Moira leaves for LA for work, a young Johnny Rose comes to a startling realization. Inspired by the song 'Is This Love" by Whitesnake.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,734
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    93
  19. Tags
    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,638
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    619
  20. Tags
    Summary

    When Twyla starts soliciting Yelp reviews for Café Tropical, she gets more than she bargained for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,053
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    162
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    585

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