1 - 20 of 190 Works in Metaphysical Sex

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    It was one year, forty two days, three hours, and twenty-seven minutes exactly since the Nopocalypse.

    Just long enough for an angel and a demon to spend more time together consecutively than they ever had, but definitely not long enough for them to expect, nor even consider what would come to happen that evening, one autumnal and rainy Friday in a bookshop in Soho.

    The impossible. Supposedly. And the mysterious product of that one evening was what two clueless supernatural entities would simply refer to as …

    Orb.

    (Or, to the likes of you and me … new life.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,371
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    81
  2. Tags
    Summary

    The thing was, it turned out that Crowley had been right after all. When an angel and a demon came together as one, it was explosive.
    And it was glorious.
    And, like all explosions, it was accompanied by the release of a certain amount of energy into the world.

    In which Aziraphale and Crowley find themselves inconveniently trapped inside the Bentley in their true forms, after getting a bit carried away…

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,825
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    64
    Kudos:
    122
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    1703
  3. Tags
    Summary

    We do not interfere. We bear witness, but we do not interfere.

    Until we do.

    Standing at the edge of oblivion, the universe turns upside down.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,119
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    582
  4. Tags
    Summary

    If Crowley would stop being so intoxicatingly besotted and physically affectionate, for perhaps ten to fifteen minutes, Aziraphale would have a much easier time being mortified.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    528
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    62
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    313
  5. Tags
    Summary

    “No, no, listen to me.” Aziraphale put a hand on Crowley’s shoulder and jostled it until the demon looked him in the eye. “We are an angel and a demon on the same side. This hasn’t happened before. We can pool our knowledge and resources, and if there is a way to shield demons from holy water and angels from hellfire, we will find it.”

    Something flitted behind Crowley’s eyes. He looked away.

    Aziraphale straightened. “You had an idea just now, didn’t you?”

    Crowley’s eyes widened in something like panic. He shook his head, lifting Aziraphale’s hand from his shoulder and setting it back on the sofa cushion. “You wouldn’t like it.”

    (With no other ideas for escaping imminent execution, Crowley and Aziraphale submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,250
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    209
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    774
  6. Tags
    Summary

    When the War in Heaven took its toll, decimating the Legions of Heaven, there was only one way to rebuild their numbers: The Ritual of Propagation.

    To Aziraphale, it was simply a duty, a task the Archangels asked him to perform countless times.

    But, an eternity later, Crowley sees something far darker and more sinister in the angel's stories.

    Can Crowley help his husband acknowledge the abuse he suffered? And can they find away through the pain and trauma to start the family they both desire?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    56,542
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    267
    Kudos:
    236
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    4328
  7. Tags
    Summary

    When Aziraphale recognizes Crowley, he thinks, he can just this once show all Crowley's vulnerabilities love, until Crowley bolts and is gone for decades. Aziraphale gets ineffable help from human friends...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,293
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    333
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale stares into his eyes (definitely not going there right now), and Crowley takes a deep breath, trying to focus on the flames, the bookshop, the loss. He can do this, fuck. He can compartmentalize; he can keep back what needs to be kept back and show Aziraphale only what he's asked for. He can. Surely. Just two blokes sharing emotions at the end of the world, it's fine.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,981
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    117
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    513
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Lorraine steps into Isla’s world as the Occultist prepares to complete the deathly curse on Arne Johnson...But Isla is equally influenced by Lorraine. In this deeply metaphysical short story, anything can happen.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,969
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    152
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley teaches Aziraphale the most pleasurable way to get his true form out onto the earthly plane.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,123
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    292
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    1355
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Q wants nothing more than to be intimate with his precious Jean-Luc, but his metaphysical powers keep getting in the way. A 5 + 1 bit of humor involving a lot of temporal repair and metaphysics.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,070
    Chapters:
    4/6
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    58
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    823
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley is a demon, empty, a gaping hole; he is the serpent, always swallowing only his own tail and never full. Halo to ashes, stardust to dust. He will always be hungry.

     

    Aziraphale has been asking to see; Crowley lets go.
    (Written for Thwarting Wiles with great art by Cassieoh!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,491
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    174
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    863
  13. Tags
    Summary

    entanglednow's summary:

    Aziraphale and Crowley finally get to have their picnic, which leads to an unexpected offer of intimacy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    88
  14. Tags
    Summary

    After Eden, Crawly and Aziraphale go their separate ways to begin their work among the early humans. Crawly seems to keep getting thwarted in mysterious ways. He's astonishingly slow on the uptake. When Aziraphale finds Crawly lurking in a village, he suspects more foul play, but instead they have a heart to heart. Each realises how much the other fascinates them, and they wonder how many other fascinating things there are to learn about each other, and their celestial and occult bodies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,229
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    146
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1044
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Even seeing Q at a distance far out on the dock, juggling stones in his coat pocket, head hunched against the fur-lined hood, is becoming familiar. He’s recognizing Q with something akin to affection, and realizing that every petty argument they have—petty because there’s comparatively little Q can do here to cross ethical bounds—leaves him closer and closer to understanding Q’s odd and uncanny gestures.

    [ the one where Q and Picard are stuck in a lakeside cabin and learn the ups and downs of cohabitation ]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,593
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    106
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    778
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Even though Jean-Luc opens only in bursts and starts, small fractions, Jean-Luc’s hands are kind. If they touch Q, they are always painfully concerned with earnestness.

    Pleasure is easy to find. To be held between hands like these is not.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,908
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    106
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    640
  17. Tags
    Summary

    It might seem counterintuitive, but radio waves travel at the speed of light, not sound. Their wavelengths are long enough to traverse vast distances without interference, and under certain supernatural circumstances, can be detected by the inhuman eye.

    What if they carried traces of the being who created them? A diary literally written in the stars?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,366
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    123
    Kudos:
    123
    Bookmarks:
    33
    Hits:
    1544
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley winced and turned around. He squinted at the King of Hell and his two-day stubble and expensive suit and bloody audacity. His Hell-trained survival instincts really didn’t like this.

    That ancient part of him who’s known this man-shaped being since he was a hatchling filed away his escape plan for later, however.

     

    Or: Crowley and Lucifer are siblings, and sure, they’re not exactly on speaking terms now, but that doesn’t stop Lucifer from knocking on Crowley and Aziraphale’s door on a Sunday morning, asking for help. Needless to say, it doesn’t go exactly as planned…

    [Or or: on relationships, the Throne of Hell, absolution, and the universe's most dysfunctional family—maybe—coming to senses.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    233,884
    Chapters:
    100/100
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    2260
    Kudos:
    2474
    Bookmarks:
    438
    Hits:
    76744
  19. Tags
    Summary

    The last time we were together, I hurt his feelings. I spoke quickly, in an effort to get out the door and go back to the bridge. I don’t even remember what I said. As usual, I was stressed and irritable, and I took it out on the one being in the universe who uses every power at his disposal to make my life better, easier, more exciting, more colorful. He eases my many burdens, and I pushed him away without a second thought.

    A distracted and tired Picard has hurt Q's feelings, and is on a search to find him and make things right.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,902
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    367
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Nonesane's summary:

    Whether it's a sign of God's sense of humor or a punishment, nesting turns out to be A Thing for demons. And...maybe angels too?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    165
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    559

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