1 - 20 of 115 Works in Maladict/Polly "Ozzer" Perks

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    podfic of who_la_hoop's story

     

    Polly's comfortable back at The Duchess, with her well-worn routines and her well-worn life, and she's . . . absolutely not pining for her best friend, Mal, who forgot – hah! – to say goodbye before vanishing after the last peace negotiations. For the second time. Not that she's counting.

    But when Commander Vimes personally asks her to come to Ankh Morpork and learn the ways of the City Watch, for the good of Borogrovia, she feels she can't say no. She's forgotten Mal, she absolutely has. But then a mysterious someone starts sending her coffee. And that's only the beginning . . .

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    63
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Sergeant Polly Oliver Perks chooses the worst possible time to act on the feelings she has for her Corporal and closest friend, Maladict. The dance must go on, but the supply of coffee has been sabotaged... probably.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,546
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    183
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Podfic of "Kisses Don't Last (Except When They Do)"

    Author's original summary:

    Polly's comfortable back at The Duchess, with her well-worn routines and her well-worn life, and she's . . . absolutely not pining for her best friend, Mal, who forgot – hah! – to say goodbye before vanishing after the last peace negotiations. For the second time. Not that she's counting.

    But when Commander Vimes personally asks her to come to Ankh Morpork and learn the ways of the City Watch, for the good of Borogrovia, she feels she can't say no. She's forgotten Mal, she absolutely has. But then a mysterious someone starts sending her coffee. And that's only the beginning . . .

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    111
  4. Tags
    Summary

    One dark and stormy night, Maladicta receives an unexpected but very welcome visitor who gives her a lot to think about. Who leaves her sexually frustrated and lonely.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,432
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    317
  5. Tags
    Summary

    It was something that boys did, Polly thought, a little defensively. She knew they did. They hardly seemed to shut up about it. And alright, the mechanics were a little different, but in the process of learning how to fake it convincingly she’d found herself trying out a few things, things she got rather good at, and was not a little put out by the discovery that she couldn’t even snatch five minutes- well, okay, fifteen, if she could get it- to put it to good use. If nothing else, she could use the stress relief.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,795
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    96
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    587
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The Brooklyn Nine-Nine AU no-one asked for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    323
    Bookmarks:
    37
    Hits:
    3116
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Polly Oliver Perks was beginning to regret ever acquiring the title of Sergeant, much less the position of unofficial military mascot. Okay, there were some benefits - mostly the respect and the shouting, but sometimes also the food - but when it came to formal occasions, it didn't seem worth it. At least the invitation came with a 'plus one'.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,919
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    302
  8. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    90
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    775
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Excerpt:
    "And that’s the fourth problem, isn’t it? That I’m thinking so much about whatever Mal is doing– whatever Mal did."

    Polly learns that women can, in fact, fall in love with other women. But is Mal even a woman?

    The title was taken from "Animal" by Troye Sivan, a very gay and very good song. I will most likely never update this, but I live in hope for that day when inspiration strikes and, lo and behold! Another chapter!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    693
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    229
  10. Tags
    Summary

    This is new.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    244
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “Why ask? Why ask now? We’ve been corporal and sergeant for several weeks now and this is when you thought of asking me?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,232
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    317
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Following the events of the last pages of the book, it's about time Polly and Mal addressed a certain something.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    737
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    305
  13. Tags
    Summary

    A battle gone wrong and a lack of coffee and suddenly Polly Perks finds herself having to deal with a vampire-on-edge.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,990
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    199
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    1111
  14. Tags
    Summary

    It wasn’t that she’d joined up because of Polly, per se. The notion had been percolating for some time. Somewhere between the coffee fiasco and the sack of beans delivered straight to her skull via pigeon, her military record had gotten a little … embarrassing. Mal did not generally do embarrassing. She was quite sure that she could do better the second time around.

    The question she’d been stuck on was how much difference that would make if Borogravia itself could not do better.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,927
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    186
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    987
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Polly's the sergeant of the Second Irregulars, Mal's the corporal, and the inspection tour of Glitsch doesn't go at all as planned.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,306
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    84
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    696
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Podfic of "Not That Kind of Song", by Serenade

    Read for the Awesome Ladies Podfic Anthology VIII

    Author's original summary:

    The problem with songs, Polly thought, is that they always left out the most important bits.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    184
  17. Tags
    Summary

    "Long walks and getting caught in the rain," that was a soldier's life in a nutshell. At the moment, Polly and Maladicta don't need to walk anywhere, but there sure is a lot of rain.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    228
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Life goes on for Polly and Mal in the army. Whether faced with enemy soldiers, seemingly endless bad weather or awkward attempts at seduction, together they will make the most of it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,626
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    99
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    866
  19. Tags
    Summary

    There are no nightgowns, underwired or otherwise, in the Borogravian military. Somehow, Ozzer manages to find the next best thing while facing off against Zlobenian cavalry and ends up kicking their captain in the fork while wearing a petticoat.

    It’s close enough. Possibly too close, because when Mal sees her dripping wet from the rain and plastered in sheer white cloth, her brain blanks out and – for a moment – her instincts purr.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,996
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    392
    Bookmarks:
    59
    Hits:
    2107
  20. Tags
    Summary

    The problem with songs, Polly thought, is that they always left out the most important bits.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,005
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    141
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    821

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