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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Listen, I don't have much time to say this. Something big is happening in Skyrim, shit, even all of Tamriel. We got dragons, there, and here. There was an attack, there in Helgen you see? Then there was another, and another, here and then here. Then theres, this, this dragonborn? And the Thalmor all are all up their own ass to find them. But then, I was going through birth records, and I found an absolutely ancient high elf. Calls herself nowadays the, um, the Condence? Condesce? Got a real hard on for being the empress. But then, I learned about an order for the Dark Brotherhood assassinate to the emperor, and they actually went through with it. Imperials just think everything's dandy and fine, but no, they have a high elf for Empress now. What's even worse, is someone killed Ulfric Stormcloak. Hey that's a good thing right? He's racist right? Wrong. This is the start of something huge. His death paved the way for the Condesce to grab control. She's got the legion wrapped around her finger. The thing is, the thing is she isn't a vampire, and the average high elf lifespan is far less than her age. How old is she? 5000 years old. Now what the hell is happening here? Shit! We gotta go, they're here!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,925
    Chapters:
    3/45
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    69
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Just a Humanstuck high school fic. Probably not going to have really big plot, but there will be one, trust me fellas.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,388
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    302
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Shrek is in the middle of his scene phase when his life suddenly changes forever.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,092
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    3315
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Acikka Tripps stops for lunch at the wrong psionic's deli. Illustrations by Acikka's owner, Crossfaded/ https://smoke-wisp.tumblr.com/

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,601
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    26
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Eridan is ready to see people again. Dirk would rather have him to himself.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,434
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    746
  6. Tags
    Summary

    It's been nearly a few months since they both appeared in this new world. They have no idea on what happened but both former sprites are now on a very different Earth with very different but mostly familiar bodies, for two things Hal now has a body of his own somewhat and Davesprite is still part bird.

    This new world is very different and strange to both, its set in the future and one important detail that shocked both was that in this world: Dave Strider, little brother to famous twins David 'D' Strider and Dereck 'Bro' Strider and a twin himself to Dirk Strider, died at the age of 12, 4 years ago. Now how does this fare for Davesprite now dubbed 'Qrow Davis' who looks almost exactly like the deceased Strider with him being the alternate version of said deceased Strider?

    It was bad enough with monsters and enemies from the game popping up every once and a while, not to mention their unwilling and accidental involvement with the dark underworld. They've done their best avoiding anything that might cause them problems but one single mistake from Qrow has the ex-players and involvements from the game chasing after him. Especially the family of Striders who are convinced that he is their Dave.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    67,047
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    119
    Kudos:
    214
    Bookmarks:
    33
    Hits:
    2830
  7. Tags
    Summary

    In which Dave goes in to kill a demon for his bro, and things...don't exactly go as planned.

    Please check the tags before you read.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    66,448
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    398
    Kudos:
    358
    Bookmarks:
    53
    Hits:
    4356
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Now with embeded lyric videos!

    In which I write lyrics to the numerous Homestuck songs that don't contain any. The lyrics are mine; the music is not. All songs featured belong to the brilliant minds who composed them.

    The latest song is Sburban Countdown, Written by Michael Guy Bowman with arrangement by Mark Hadley. It can be found on the album Homestuck Vol. 1-4.

    If anyone would like to record themselves singing any of these lyrics or use a voice synthesizer like Vocaloid or Utau to put them to the music, by all means please do! I only request to be credited with the lyrics.

    I hope to do much of the Homestuck soundtrack, so if you like these lyrics and would like to see certain songs done sooner ("sooner" being a relative term) than other songs, feel free to suggest them!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,374
    Chapters:
    31/?
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    871
  9. Tags
    Summary

    You should probably do the grub a favor and kill it. It’s so pathetic and tiny, and its color is so clearly mutated. It won’t ever have a lusus. It’ll definitely die young. It’ll make a good snack. No one will ever know or miss him. As far as anyone else knows, he won’t have ever existed. So you lift the grub to your mouth and bare your fangs.

    You picture the troll he could turn into and find yourself unable to bite down. The grub squeals and plays with your finger.

    “You are an insufferable nuisance,” you inform the grub. It continues to play with your thumb and continues not being killed by you.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,594
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    85
  10. Tags
    Summary

    When Sburb is more or less beaten, Bro's life takes a turn for the ... interesting.

    (TG: provide a juggalo with regular deepdickings or downtown houston will die)

    And increasingly pornographic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,193
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    27
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Five gods rent a flat in Manhattan. That sounded like the start of a bad joke.

    In which Loki Silvertongue is not the only lost god who falls to a world that isn’t his own.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    183,880
    Chapters:
    33/?
    Comments:
    722
    Kudos:
    1265
    Bookmarks:
    241
    Hits:
    20161
  12. Tags
    Summary

    When Dirk Strider meets his Sugar Daddy, Jake English, for the first time, he is swept off his feet. But what happens when he realizes Jake is just as awkward as him? What happens when Dirk's younger brother Dave is hell-bent on finding something wrong with Jake? What happens when Dirk's boss Roxy and Jake's ex-wife Jane start dating each other? Shenanigans, of course. Shenanigans are what always happens in these fics.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,650
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    76
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1957
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Vriska can't believe how incredibly awful her luck is. Not only was she dumped by her first serious girlfriend and then kicked off the ship they were both meant to volunteer on due to “incompetent sailing." But now she was stuck living with the one person who hates her more than possibly anything else. No one could have mentioned the other roommate was Terezi Pyrope of all people?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,258
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    43
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is Sollux Captor, and there's something wrong with you. There's a lot wrong with you, but Karkat loves you anyway.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    652
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    18
  15. Tags
    Summary

    The concept of a time loop practically necessitates death.

    Aradia finds this out. Over and over again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,077
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    19
  16. Tags
    Summary

    He can’t speak, but his body does all the talking it needs to do for him.

    It’s in the way he tilts his head, the angle of his chin, the sway of his hips, the slow slide of his hand over his chest as he tilts his head back and feels the music like a living thing, in a way no one else really knows how to do. In the way he cracks open his eyes and turns, as if checking to make sure you’re watching. In the way his lips curl up in a grin that is neither subtle nor demure- he knows what he’s doing.

    What he’s saying to you.

    [In Other Words: Actual, Consensual Makaracest. For Once.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,879
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    42
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Basically these are scenes I /wanted/ to fit into the main narrative but never found a place for or things that take place outside the main timeline. (If anyone has requests of things I mentioned in ANY of the main fics that didn't get explored, let me know)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,880
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    502
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Dave's a pretty lax guardian, but he told his seventeen year old brother to get to bed early since school was starting tomorrow. Dirk takes the advice, and while he's asleep his Auto Responder (which Dave doesn't know about) ends up basking in a bit of brotherly attention.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,744
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    50
  19. Tags
    Summary

    You know those holidays with family that turns into your parents or grandparents asking about your love life? Nepeta and Equius have to deal with that every time they see their family again. In an effort to make them stop, Nepeta made an offer that seemed like a good idea. They would pretend to date each other only to fall in love (Yes I know Hallmark has about 10000 movies based on this same idea but hush).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,391
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Hits:
    10
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is Dave Str-
    Wait.
    No.
    Deep breaths.
    Start again.
    Your name is Dave Lalonde, and you’re pretty sure that you hold the title of “Worst Chosen One Who Ever Lived”.

    Dave Lalonde is planning to sail through his seventh and final year attending Skaia Academy of Magicks with as few surprises as possible - or, as few surprises as someone titled “the Greatest Mage” can hope for. Unfortunately for him, the World of Mages has a very different plan, one involving a few too many unexpected events for Dave’s taste. His asshole roommate is MIA - not that he cares, shut up Rose - his longtime girlfriend appears to have interest in someone else, his whole world is bristling with internal turmoil hidden beneath the surface and his mentor seems to be hiding something…

    Heavily inspired by Rainbow Rowell’s “Carry On” (but the plot is still different, I promise). I highly recommend it, as it's a great book, but prior knowledge is not needed to understand this work.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,471
    Chapters:
    4/16
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    790

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