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    Summary

    He has so many imaginary lists now, so many things he needs to keep track of. They only just went back to school three weeks ago, which doesn’t seem to be doing wonders for Philip’s mood, but Lukas’s surprise is finally ready. Completely ready, not painted and close, not a few boards from done, not lacking a ladder but complete other than that.

    No, it’s done, and he hasn’t been so proud of something in a while. He’s even happier because his dad helped him finish it. He knew he had an advantage, since he wasn’t supposed to exert himself, but he was so dead-set on making this happen that Dad saw the determination in his eyes and wasn’t going to let this father-son bonding opportunity slide into the ether. They were mostly silent as they built, but they worked as a unit, knowing what the other needed and how they could help, and Dad didn’t balk when Lukas revealed that this was for Philip. For the two of them, together.

    “Well,” Dad had said. “Let’s make sure we keep the splinters at bay.”

    Language:
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    Chapters:
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    Comments:
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    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
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  2. Tags
    Summary

    Lukas nodded. "Yeah... being out is nice. I don't have to take you on dates in the city or at my house. I can take you out like a gentleman." Lukas pulled away to fix his tie, a tie that didn't exist.

    "You?" Philip laughed. "A gentleman? That's hard to believe." He winced when Lukas punched his arm. "Kidding."

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    Hits:
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  3. Tags
    Summary

    "You've never been normal. This-" Lukas pointed all around them. "You hate this! You hate normal people who like sports and running around and going to dances! You hate it! You say it's boring!"

    "Lukas..." Philip only sounded more tired. "This isn't about being normal or not. People who read books and like rock over boy bands aren't murdered. On the news.. I saw a gay man and his partner got beaten and killed in their own home. They called it a hate crime." Philip was crying. "I don't want that happening to me. That's why I didn't tell."

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    1/1
    Comments:
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    15
    Bookmarks:
    1
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    151
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    Summary

    Lukas tilted his head to the side and drug his finger in a circle, sighing. "I'm sorry..." He leaned down and kissed a mole that was on Philips shoulder. "I really am... I wish I could give you more... gave you more... but I was confused and afraid and I just..." Lukas closed his eyes. "Just be patient. I can make this worth it. I primise I will.." Lukas whispered. "I lo-" Lukas shook his head again. "I'm sorry... I just can't... not yet."

    Philip stirred in his sleep, moving a bit closer to Lukas. His eyes stayed closed and his mouth hung slightly open, soft breaths escaping his lips. His hair was fanned out against the pillows. If Lukas knew the flash wouldn't wake Philip up he would take a photo. That's what Philip told him to do when he saw pretty things. And to Lukas, Philip will always be the prettiest thing.

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    1,412
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    1/1
    Kudos:
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    Bookmarks:
    2
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  5. Tags
    Summary

    Lukas stared at him with wide eyes before looking away once more. He dropped Philips wrist, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "You... don't like girls? How can you do that?"

    "I just don't." Philip dug the toe of his shoe into the cracks of the sidewalk. "You don't have to like girls. Or kiss them or date them. That's just what... most people do. But not everyone is the same. That's what my mom said."

    Lukas knit his eyebrows together, contemplating. "So... you're mad that you don't like girls the same way everyone else does?"

    "Thats part of it." Philip backed away, chewing at his lip. "The other part is is that... I like you. And you like girls and you talk about kissing girls and dating girls and it sucks. You don't have to like me but it just..." Philip rubbed his face. "It's like... if I won a race and rubbed it in your face forever or something."

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    Comments:
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    Kudos:
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    Hits:
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  6. Tags
    Summary

    "Grief is like an earthquake. The first one hits you and the world falls apart. Even after you put the world together again there are aftershocks, and you never really know when those will come." - unknown

    Or, a story following episode 1x10 of Eyewitness, detailing the repercussions of Lukas and Philip's trauma.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,960
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    84
    Kudos:
    341
    Bookmarks:
    53
    Hits:
    6400
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Lukas pulls Philip into a hug. They don’t say anything either—Philip just closes his eyes and holds on to Lukas, the two of them swaying back and forth.

    You’re amazing. I mean, you’re awesome. The words echo in his ears. Times past, love growing in the midst of fear and uncertainty. All that horror giving way to softness, dedication, the kind of relationship he could only dream about. He realizes he doesn’t need to focus hard on all this to keep it in place. He’s found something special, and it’s simply part of his life now.

    “Let’s go get married, babe,” Philip says, kissing Lukas’s neck.

    “Yeah,” Lukas says, when they break apart. “Yeah, that sounds fun.”

    (Philip and Lukas's Wedding)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,150
    Chapters:
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    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    520
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Central Park always feels like a different city in and of itself, and they set up the art exhibit in the middle of Sheep Meadow. Only four other kids got picked for this—Philip said that ten kids aced it but Mr. Wood’s park permit wouldn’t allow that many, but he still got picked to go. Mr. Woods is here and he seems like an exciting sort of guy, really amped to be doing something like this, and he’s exactly the kind of artsy teacher Lukas always pictured when he thought about college.

    Mr. Woods blew up Philip’s five main photos and a few of the smaller ones are on their own canvas, and they set them up on easels with little descriptions on the corners. Lukas steps back and admires the set-up, how nice it all looks.

    “People are already watching,” Philip says, once everybody is ready and standing by their work. He grabs Lukas’s elbow and seems nervous, twisting in on himself, trying to make himself smaller.

    “Good,” Lukas says, kissing Philip’s temple. “Your photos deserve to be seen. Even though they’re all me looking like an idiot.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
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    1,455
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    534
  9. Tags
    Summary

    "I want to have sex with Philip." Lukas' tray clattered against the wooden lunch table.

    Rose choked on her milk, covering her mouth. She set it down, picking up a napkin and wiping her mouth. "Isn't that what you're supposed to tell...him?" She asked, finally looking up at him. "Because.. I have no idea where I can even be involved in that situation, and honestly, I don't want to be involved."

    Series
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    English
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    Chapters:
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    Comments:
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    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    727
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “I’m really proud of you,” Helen says, running her hand through his hair. “You two, well—you’ve—you’ve accomplished a lot. You didn’t let anything stop you, and I’m really, really proud of everything you’ve done. The man you grew to be.”

    Philip dips his head down and smiles softly, shaking his head. “We didn’t—” He knows he’s about to insult himself, and he’s so used to saying we, but doesn’t want to insult Lukas too. “I didn’t do anything,” he says. “Just, you know—normal shit.”

    Helen shakes her head at him. “You’re anything but normal, kid. You’re incredibly special and I just…don’t want you to forget it. She’d be so, so proud of everything you are.”

    He’s been thinking about his mom a lot lately. He wishes she was here so, so badly. He feels emotion welling up in his throat and he laughs to quell it, looking up at Helen. “Getting sentimental with me, huh?”

    “Of course,” she says, pulling him in and kissing the top of his head. “It’s graduation day!”

    Series
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    English
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    11,444
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    Comments:
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    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    623
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Philip's thoughts during the dinner in Episode 6 (The Yellow Couch)

    Inspired by the absolutely heartbreaking looks Philip gave everyone after what Lukas says. I still have no idea how Philip forgave him for that one.

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    English
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    Comments:
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    38
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    Hits:
    542
  12. Tags
    Summary

    “I was lucky I got the tickets,” Lukas says. He’d booked their Statue of Liberty Crown experience like nine months ago, before he went off on the circuit. They’d been tossing around the idea of doing this for years, but it was so damn hard to get the crown tickets that Lukas gave up at least ten times before remembering to try again. Lucky was definitely the word for getting a booking on his birthday—more so that he actually remembered with enough time to get tickets for the right date.

    “It’s probably better we’re doing this when it’s cold,” Philip says, looking over his shoulder as the boat makes a slight jump. “Uh, because—in the summer it’ll be grossly hot and we’d probably die on those stairs.”

    “If you lose me on the stairs just keep going,” Lukas says. “Hopefully someone will drag my body the rest of the way and they can just leave it up there.”

    “Shut up,” Philip says, smacking him on the leg.

    Series
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    English
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    Comments:
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    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    425
  13. Tags
    Summary

    After one month later they're back in school, back to reality, back to just trying to figure it all out.

    Language:
    English
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    3,046
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    Collections:
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    Comments:
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    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    3
  14. Tags
    Summary

    “Philip,” she said, her voice broken, and Philip immediately knew that something was off. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
    An anxious expression entered his dull and bloodshot eyes when he felt Gabe’s sturdy hand on his shoulder as well – his grip gentle yet firm, reassuring. He wanted to shake both of them off, but the sinking feeling in his stomach left him paralyzed with fear.
    “Your mom is dead.”

    Language:
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    45
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    474
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Headcanons and AUs that I thought of but never wrote.

    Language:
    English
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    25,962
    Chapters:
    67/?
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    122
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    3703
  16. Tags
    Summary

    After everything they have gone through they have finally reached a safe space. Will it remain the same after they decide to become foster parents?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,340
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    400
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Memories of the five main photos Philip has in his senior photography portfolio, all focusing on Lukas

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,763
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    58
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    669
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Today is the last day to buy a dead flower
     

    Lukas is even more confused now. He glances up, sees Mr. Farrier writing some long equation on the board, and he starts typing out a response.
     

    ???

     

    He feels it properly demonstrates his emotions. He opens Philip’s message again and there’s still no reply to his last statement. Lukas pouts at his phone, wondering if Mrs. Henley is giving Philip a hard time again and actually making him pay attention in class. So goddamn rude.

    Another message from Rose. Dead flowers for valentine’s day from the drama club!!! They’re supporting Noises Off and you should get one for Philip.

    Lukas clicks his tongue. He’s vaguely heard about the play they’re putting on in April but he hasn’t heard shit about dead flowers. Who wants dead flowers?

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
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    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    74
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    538
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Lukas knew exactly who he could and could not be from the time he was in middle school. He could not be the boy that looked at other boys with engrossed attraction, no, that was meant for the pretty girls in his school only. He would not be that guy, no matter how many handsome boys his eyes would chase within the hallways. He did a good job of hiding behind beautiful girls until Philip Shea moved into town and something like self-acceptance started to touch his heart in the midst of deadly circumstances.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    78,669
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    66
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1503
  20. Tags
    Summary

    "You're just mad because he liked me more. I think he can sense who the alpha male is." Lukas flexed his muscles and grinned.

    "I'll show you alpha male." Philip mumbled, walking down the stairs.

    Lukas grinned, rubbing his thumb across his own lips. "Hot." He walked towards Philip, gasping when Philip slammed him up against the wall

    Philip looked Lukas up and down before smiling up at him, sweetly. He pushed up onto the balls of his feet, leaning over and kissing underneath Lukas' ear. "Go into the kitchen and start unpacking or else you're gonna be sleeping on our couch.." He glanced over his shoulder at it, smirking.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,010
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    742

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