1 - 20 of 73 Works in Lambert & Vesemir (The Witcher)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    The last thing Vesemir expected when he broke his hip (caused by slipping in his kitchen, of all things) was to meet the future love of Geralt’s life. Now all he had to do was subtly convince Geralt and Jaskier of the fact.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,227
    Chapters:
    1/8
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    209
    Bookmarks:
    44
    Hits:
    698
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Vesemir never expected to actually have to take care of a child when he signed himself up to be a foster parent. He was a single man living alone in a tiny apartment above a garage. The chances of him getting that call were slim to none.

    But then he got the call. And again. And again. And maybe, just maybe, he started to fall in love with the three boys he had been tasked with taking care of. Just don't tell anyone that, he had a reputation to uphold, dammit.

    a.k.a Grumpy Papa Vesemir and his three foster boys.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,479
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    143
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    1677
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Monsters don't have feelings.
    Monsters don't deserve nice things.
    Monsters kill.
    Lambert lives in a government run care home for Littles, forgotten by the world and surviving on the smallest of care. It's when he's at his lowest that he meets a man that might change his life.
    Vesemir doesn't have room to care anymore, his heart is closed to love for fear it might shatter him if he ever does so again. But a Little with no hope left might just be the one to unlock his heart and change his life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,692
    Chapters:
    5/12
    Comments:
    75
    Kudos:
    132
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1573
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt has only ever talked about one nuisance bard, the one that wrote the fucking song that has people throwing coppers at him when he walks into bars. Jaskier something or other, who gives a shit, “Why the fuck is he here?”

    “To winter with me,” Geralt snaps, a warning in his tone Lambert readily ignores. “Problem?”

    “Yeah, the problem is the strange prostitute you brought to The Keep!!” Lambert exclaims, because he’d had a feeling Geralt was smitten, but apparently, he’s an idiot and doesn’t know a bad idea when he sees one if it smiles at him pretty enough.

    “Hey, I’m at least a strange courtesan!” the bard calls.

     

    (Lambert is extremely protective of the very little he has, including his brother. Jaskier is a threat to all of them, he doesn’t get why everyone doesn’t see that.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,583
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    70
    Kudos:
    862
    Bookmarks:
    187
    Hits:
    3525
  5. Tags
    Summary

    This is a compilation of Vesemir shorts that aren't quite long enough for their own post.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,677
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    169
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    955
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Lambert discovers that Aiden has been using spit - fucking spit - along with a laundry list of other disgusting alternatives for sex (tallow, yeah, that was on offer too). He whips up his own lube using a centuries-old recipe and they go to town.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,292
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    132
    Kudos:
    510
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    3248
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Barmin comes up behind him, lets out a tired sigh, and places a hand on his shoulder. “Can you believe he's one of the older ones?" he says, noticing who Vesemir has been looking at. "He’s 10-years-old,” his former mentor tells him.

    Vesemir winces at that. The kid looks too small to be that old.

    “Yeah, he’s 10 and he’s carrying a doll, like a little girl,” Berenger comes up next to them with a tankard of ale in hand and a shit-eating grin on his face.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,842
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    260
  8. Tags
    Summary

    A few years after Blaviken, Geralt gets cursed to feel whatever emotions the people around him feel about him. After months on the Path, he finally makes it back to Kaer Morhen...and isolates himself, unable to bear learning what his last few remaining family members really think of him.

    Eskel, Lambert, and Vesemir are not having with that sort of idiocy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,193
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    91
    Kudos:
    926
    Bookmarks:
    145
    Hits:
    2845
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Just some snippets of Vesemir's pups breaking under all the stress

     

    Set before and after the battle of Kaer Morhen

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,366
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    475
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Vesemir isn’t cut out to be a father, but because Destiny is a bitch, he is now responsible for four very traumatised, very scared, very helpless kids. The legacy of wolf witchers rests entirely on Vesemir’s shoulders now. He needs to make sure these kids grow into strong, capable witchers. They might think that the hardest part about becoming a witcher is to survive the trials, but it is Vesemir’s duty to teach them that there is so much worse to come. 

    What a shit job. 

    As it turns out, and as Vesemir would find out over the coming years, being a parent is a thankless job, but apparently, it is also the most rewarding job in the world. 

    Vesemir begs to differ

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,321
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    93
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    496
  11. Tags
    Summary

    He loaded his gun, its yellow glow indicating that it was now loaded and ready for the wraith. Now he only needed to locate it. Focusing on his sense of smell brought him the many scents of the city: the filth on the streets, incense from one of the shops around him, and sulphur. He zeroed on the sulphur smell and followed its path.

     

     

     Lambert is a Nekro hunting demon for a living, Aiden and Jaskier are mages trying to just live their life. They end up teaming up after a demon attack.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,554
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    112
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Crying children is nothing new behind the stone walls of Kaer Morhen, but Vesemir feels the responsibility weigh heavily on his shoulders.
    He parts from the shadows, approaching Lambert and makes deliberate noise as he does. The child rushes to his feet, a knife in his hand in the blink of an eye, and Vesemir’s heart swells with pride.
    “What do you want, asshole?” Lambert says, wiping his tears angrily with the heel of his hand.
    “I have been thinking about something for a while,” Vesemir says calmly, walking up to Lambert and promptly plopping down on the hay.
    “What,” Lambert asks, eyeing him suspiciously. The dark circles under his eyes are not only the remnants of the toxins.
    “Sit down and I will tell you. And put away that knife before you poke someone’s eye out.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    913
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    75
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    316
  13. Tags
    Summary

    After the sacking of Kaer Morhen, Vesemir faces the legacy of the Wolf School.

    (picks up immediately after NOTW ends, spoilers ahead)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,257
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    258
    Bookmarks:
    37
    Hits:
    997
  14. Tags
    Summary

    When Lambert asks him about bringing his Cat friend to Kaer Morhen for the winter, Vesemir snaps and tells him that anyone would be better than a damn Cat.
    It not so surprisingly leads to Lambert introducing several colorful people to them over the years. Until one day Lambert comes home alone and inconsolable.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,181
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    57
    Kudos:
    440
    Bookmarks:
    49
    Hits:
    1893
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Four cakes that mark the most important moments in Lambert's life.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,078
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    207
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Julian is a little who is struggling with self acceptance, having been pushed aside by his family. Every little needs to have one or more legal caregivers though, and social services have placed him in the care of Geralt and Eskel Rivia, who have been looking to adopt a little boy for a really long time.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,497
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    122
    Kudos:
    477
    Bookmarks:
    69
    Hits:
    12218
  17. Tags
    Summary

    When Vesemir collects his newest child surprise, he finds Lambert —an underweight selkie with a vicious streak running deeper than the ocean she came from. He takes her to the Temple of Melitele to become what is likely to be the worst acolyte they've ever had. She finds her place in the world anyway.

    Or in other words: Lambrt doesn't become a witcher... she becomes an acolyte of Melitele instead. Vesemir is still her not-dad, Geralt and Eskel are still her brothers, Aiden is still her lover, and she's still the bitter bitch we know and love.
    —————————————————

    Lambert and Aiden meet Julia and her himbo boyfriend. Banter abound, and the plot finally starts.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,200
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    557
  18. Tags
    Summary

    "A Witcher's duty, first and foremost, is to kill monsters."

    Vesemir's words still ring in his ear, even weeks after leaving the mountain for the first time. He has two sharpened blades and his first contract already acquired before he even set foot outside of Kaer Morhen's gates.

    His first monster waits for him in a dilapidated cottage outside of Daevon.

    --

    New Witcher Lambert sets out on the path for the first time, ready to fulfil a promise he made to himself during the trials.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,108
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    101
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    613
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Back in Kaer Morhen for the winter, the Wolf Witchers begin their Annual Winter Bitch Session/Drinking Binge, in which they discover that everyone seems to have had something strange happen while on the Path. The commonality? Someone named Burt Lamb The Third.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,290
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    83
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    376
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Kairosclerosis: the moment you realize you're happy

    Lambert knows pain.

    As time goes on, it all blurs into one. Physical, emotional, mental...sooner or later, it blends together, and he can no longer find the difference. Pain is pain, and it all hurts the same. People speak of childhood like it’s something fond, a time of happiness in memories long past, but Lambert doesn’t know what that feels like.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,183
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    198
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    1052

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