1 - 20 of 58 Works in Knock-Knock Jokes

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    The resets keep happening, but Papyrus is gone. Nearly six years of grief have warped Sans, causing him to risk his soul with self-destructive behavior and making him all but unrecognizable to his old friends. Any day now, he expects a reset that will bring him far enough back in time to reunite with his brother and erase his sins. In the meantime, he'll distract himself with Muffet's new call girl...

    You need a lot of money, right now. Unlike the majority of humans in the slums of New Ebott, you don't have any anti-monster prejudice, and you're kinky, submissive and enjoy sex. You've heard someone like you can do very well for herself, catering to monsters. Now here you are with your first client, a skeleton monster in a suit offering you a drink from a hip flask...

    Undertale gangster AU with a 1930s-era American aesthetic, essentially because I like the clothes. Status updates and story chatter at http://neroli9.tumblr.com. Also, come chat with other APJFM fans at the APJFM Discord server!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    374,750
    Chapters:
    58/?
    Comments:
    3542
    Kudos:
    2731
    Bookmarks:
    477
    Hits:
    59810
  2. Tags
    Summary

    As it turns out, Chris and Ash prove Josh very, very wrong: It doesn't take a traumatic event to send them into each other's arms...all the excuse they need is a broken heater and a terrible movie.

    AU where everything is FINE, everyone is OKAY, there's no traps, no Psycho, no supernatural terrors lurking in the night, but the REAL horror was in the godawful jokes Chris made along the way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,838
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    91
  3. Tags
    Summary

    It’s April and the team is starting to have more fun than normal!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,718
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    339
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Kyle finds a shirt in his freezer. He texts Stan because he's obviously the only one who would do such a thing. Obviously.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    366
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    78
  5. Tags
    Summary

    "Oh, well." Bucky shoves a spoonful of oatmeal into his mouth and makes Steve wait for more information. He swallows, and says, "It's about a man who tries to control the whole world by controlling the weather. Have you expanded your literary horizons at all?"

    "You know I hate expanding my horizons." Bucky bobs his head from side to side in exasperated agreement as he eats more oatmeal. Steve says, "Wouldn't the moral of that book have been not to control the weather? Sounds like this guy's the villain."

    "Nah." A bit of saliva-laden oatmeal escapes Bucky's bulging-full mouth and lands on the tablecloth. "I think it was ambiguous. Not everything has a moral."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    62,579
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    54
    Kudos:
    113
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    2641
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Joker didn't get invited to Batman's wedding so he comes to see Riddler, the two of them have some history after all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,937
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    48
    Hits:
    363
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Sans stopped giving a fuck about things a long time ago, especially his Nightmares.
    But he still cares about his brother Papyrus and his best friend Toriel, and cares when they themselves have nightmares.
    Doesn't mean he isn't himself while comforting them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    900
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    28
    Hits:
    238
  8. Tags
    Summary

    “Well,” Louis says, searching for something to relieve this tension. “I think if a bloke gets kicked out of his stats exam for a knock knock joke, he deserves to hear the punchline, yeah?”

    “Oh!” Harry says, beaming. “I forgot where we left off, what was it again?” He looks overjoyed to be exchanging a shit joke.

    “Ah, you said knock knock, then I said who’s there, and then you said Noah,” Louis supplies helpfully. He hates that he's actually curious about the rest of the joke. “So, Noah who?”

    “Oh,” says Harry, in a much different tone, dragging out the syllable. He looks bashful now. Louis cannot keep up with this boy, it's going to kill him. “Right, well.” He shuffles his feet. Fuck, what kind of knock knock joke gets a boy nervous? “Noah a good place we could get something to eat?”

    [Harry and Louis get kicked out of a statistics exam for passing a knock knock joke note, and subsequently fall in love. Harry's a virgin, there's a cat, a hot cocoa date, a lot of sex, even more knock knock jokes, and everything is lovely and happy.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    86,066
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    151
    Kudos:
    1370
    Bookmarks:
    644
    Hits:
    39896
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Lance uses his celebrity status to make up for that time he stole money from a child

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,131
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    102
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Starts off as a bunch of LadyNoir drabbles and oneshots for LadyNoir July. Developed a plot a few chapters in. Fake dating, memory modification, falling in love, and fighting bad guys. Just two supers being super and falling in love.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,637
    Chapters:
    31/31
    Comments:
    342
    Kudos:
    277
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    6121
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Harry and Louis were watching Titanic at home, Louis was all sad and crying. To cheer his baby up, Harry told Louis a joke which turned the heat of their home from Winter to Summer.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,771
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    4143
  12. Tags
    Summary

    A fun time at the beach!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    628
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    82
  13. Tags
    Summary

    A weird fanfiction written by my friend(s) when they were in like, fifth grade. Unedited. Multi-chapter. I haven't even read it.
    Please murder me. Thanks.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,015
    Chapters:
    33/33
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    95
  14. Tags
    Summary

    more solangelo :)

    Warnings/tags will be added as I write and at the top of each work that contains them.

    1: jealous - nico gets jealous
    2: can't help falling in love - band au and writer!nico
    3: azovka - based off of russian fairytale/myth where nico is forced to guard a mountain treasure and will comes to rescue him
    4: can't buy love - medstudent!will and businessman!nico
    5: snapshots (2) - featuring campfire and jokes; sword fighting and kissing
    6: i could die a happy man - nico and will falling in love over and over
    7: sleepy boys - some fluffy cuddling
    8: sticks and stones - football player!nico and foster kid!will (tw)
    9: i've got a dream - tangled au
    10: two daddies - solangelo parenting
    11: many ways to say i love you - nico can speak multiple languages
    12: solace in a library - librarian nico and depressed will
    13: talk nerdy to me - treasure hunter nico and nerdy will
    14: reasons to stop smoking - another coffee shop au
    15: snapshots (3) - featuring nico

    *characters are not mine unless otherwise stated*

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,074
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Comments:
    135
    Kudos:
    280
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    6760
  15. Tags
    Summary

    When Sans tells Frisk about his joke buddy Toriel in the MTT Resort, they realize just how much they miss her.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    551
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    139
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Razz is disgusted by a new personal development. On the other hand, Sans couldn't be more in love with him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,100
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    99
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    842
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Cas isn´t good in things like this, but it doesn´t mean he isn´t serious.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    163
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    43
    Hits:
    457
  18. Tags
    Summary

    They say the life of a candle represents the life of a monster. The strongest souls have the brightest flames. But what happens when the flame goes out?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,544
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    83
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    680
  19. Tags
    Summary

    “I don’t have any money.”

    Oh no, now the girl looked upset. Her eyes were huge and her lip was wobbling. Bucky tried to think fast despite the oh shit oh shit oh shit looping through his head.

    “That’s okay,” Bucky said gently. “I don’t need money. We can figure out another kind of toll.”

    The girl frowned at him. “Like what?”

    Bucky scratched his head, trying to think of something a kid was certain to have on hand. “Do you know any jokes?”

     

    (Fantasy AU in which Steve is a hedge witch with a green thumb, Bucky is a bridge troll who's new in town, and knock-knock jokes are a viable form of currency.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,707
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    85
    Kudos:
    1711
    Bookmarks:
    155
    Hits:
    7618
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Ignoring the numbness, stunning her brain.
    Forgetting the bloodshed, spilling like rain.
    Madness a cancer.
    Sadness a plague.
    Nightmares and voices come to drive them insane.
     

    ͚̬̦͊ͨ͐ͥ͒̿ͭ̏D̜̥̹ͬͪͫ͗ͣ̌̎̏ị̟̦̻̳̄̆̑͋́ͫ̌d̦͖͙͎̮̍̍͆̇̃ ̹͍̻͙̙͙ͯ̽̎͌͌͂ͤ͂y̬̟̻̼̣ͯ̄͒ŏ̞̦̥̯̲̪̼͎̅́͛̚u̗̣̾ ̘͚͍̮̘̉̒ͅr̰̬͇̙̻̖̠̓̍ȅ͓̱̼͙͖̝̪̲̚ͅả͈̙͉̻̀̅̈́̀ͅl̠͙̫̳̾͌ͯ̑ͥ̉l͇̹͚̘͛̆͌̊ÿ͖̫̲̬͙̹̭͚́ͦ ̖̖̺͕̪͓̈̇͗t͔̮̩͉ͬͮ̄̋̇̅h̙̣̍͊͂̽͋i̪͔̞̲͕̐ͣͩͩ̽n͈͕̱̔k̮͚͎͐̽͂̃ͪ

    (o°_°o)

    Ḭ̟͔̹̓̓͐̑̄ͪͫt͕͓ͭ̽̉̇ ͈̪̞̤̲̠͋͐̇w͍̞͍̑ͥͧ͒̉͑a̠̜̜̩̤̞̯̖̿̿͌̍s̘̼͆͋ͩͬ̚ ͚̺̞̘̜͎̃̃̒̾́̚o̪͙͊̔̆ͬͩ͊̂͂́v̤̞̱̪̏͊ė̜̰̝̤̑̒ͩ̍͆͂r̺̐̈͋̓͋ͤ͌̓?̺̮͙̼͎̲̓̏̾̓̅ͩ͂ͩ

    Sans and Frisk lived a thousand anguished lifetimes before they'd even hit puberty and finally found the peace and happiness they had long fought for...
    But history forgotten, is history doomed to repeat.

    How far would you go, to protect the ones you love?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    90,936
    Chapters:
    26/?
    Comments:
    633
    Kudos:
    576
    Bookmarks:
    75
    Hits:
    12623

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