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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Todd and Amanda have the most boring lives in the world. They miss class, smoke pot and hate everyone. One day, a new kid arrives at the school, and from there, things get weirder and weirder. And they will have to save the world they know and don't know, or at least try it.

    This is my part for the DGHDA Big Bang <3

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,078
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    2
    Hits:
    32
  2. Tags
    Summary

    “I’m going to kill them. I’m going to take my time with it, and you’re going to watch. You will watch them suffer and die in my hands, and do you know why they’re going to die?” Svlad was crying harder and Priest was slowly standing up, watching him with heavy eyes as he began pleading him not to. His voice already going hoarse from the tears he was choking on. He just kept smiling at him, hands sliding up to pet his hair. Running his gloved fingers through it before pulling his hand back to take the gloves off. “They’re going to die, because you don’t need them anymore. You have me now, and I’m all you’re ever going to have.” Svald was shaking his head while watching his face, a look of uncertainty in his eyes.

    “Wh-what does that mean?”

    “Oh, Svlad, this is the best part.” He was laughing while moving his hands to rest them on the boy’s arms, leaning on them and feeling them twitch and tense under his hands. “You’re mine now."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    351,284
    Chapters:
    36/?
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    75
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1770
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Sent out on a hunt Osmund Priest finds himself in a life or death situation and decides to take help that is offered to him by a man he thought was dead. He ends up in the “raw end” of a deal and now has to work for Hugo Friedkin who is laying out a path which leads to him being a man wanted for Treason and the unwanted but very much needed, body guard for Dirk, Todd, and Farah.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    73,385
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    208
  4. Tags
    Summary

    “While I’m not entirely down with the Grease reference, I appreciate the sentiment,” Dirk told Amanda. He tilted his chin up against Todd’s shoulder, looking Todd in the eye as best he could from such an awkward angle. “I’ve cracked what’s happening case-wise.”

    “You mean not happening case-wise?” Todd asked, worming his hand behind Dirk so he could put his arm around him. “None of these leads are viable. Even the realtor’s pest-control thing was a first-three-months standard courtesy. I checked with other clients of theirs.”

    “We’re trying too hard,” Dirk said. “We had two major cases come so fast and furious that we’re expecting the next one to behave the same way. What if it doesn’t? What if the most pressing concern is the one we’ve stumbled into by accident, but nonetheless agreed upon unanimously?”

    “I didn’t agree to you nerds putting a ring on it,” said Amanda, but in jest. “I have concerns.”

    “Yeah, well,” said Todd, sticking the correct earbud in his left ear, “unanimous means two.”

    *

    ...or: Todd gets no fewer than four different versions of one shovel talk, and he's fucking sick of it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    35
    Hits:
    246
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Bart Curlish is many things: an assassin, a prisoner and holistic.

    She's also unkillable.

    -

    "Did you just dodge a bullet?"

    She shrugs. "The bullet dodged me."

    (She doesn't tell him it killed her yesterday.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,481
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    15
    Hits:
    95
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Соулмейт-АУ, в котором все, что ты пишешь на своей руке, появляется на руке твоей родственной души. Полное описание в комментарии.

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    49,627
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    598
  7. Tags
    Summary

    la CIA ha deciso di riacchiappare i suoi fuggitivi soggetti del progetto Blackwing. Ma stavolta c’è una differenza. O più di una. Comunque sia, stavolta un gruppetto costituito da un ex bugiardo patentato, una punk entusiasta per l’avventura, una guardia del corpo giusto un poco borderline, un hacker che sospetta di essere seriamente in preda ad un grave caso di sindrome di Stoccolma, uno dei progetti in questione ancora uccel di bosco, e altri eventuali alleati, sono decisi a recuperare i propri amici (o potenziali futuri colleghi. O ex-sequestratori omicidi seriali. O neo compagni di gang. Insomma, quello che è.). Beh, o almeno a provarci… giusto? Ma non importa, perché tanto succederà solo e solamente ciò che l’universo vorrà che succeda. Poco ma sicuro.

    Language:
    Italiano
    Words:
    228,327
    Chapters:
    36/42
    Comments:
    2
    Hits:
    130
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk pushed past [Farah], taking the remaining stairs two at a time. He opened the front door and stepped onto the porch, only to halt in his tracks at the sight of a familiar van.

    Amanda stood with her elbow propped on the mailbox, leisurely smoking. She saluted him.

    “Hey, so,” she said, taking a final drag before pitching the joint, “congrats on accomplishing what every horny, stoned groupie between here and Chicago used to dream of.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,200
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    76
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    473
  9. Tags
    Summary

    A supernatural robbery across the ocean, an ex-Blackwing test subject, and the origins of Dirk's name. Could these three things possibly be connected? Of course they could. Everything is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,147
    Chapters:
    56/56
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    913
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “No, but really,” Todd continued, nudging Dirk’s shoulder again, possibly a sign of subconscious reciprocal flirtation. “You’ve been jumpy like you were when we started the case. I know when something’s eating you.”

    “Not likely. If it were one as yet AWOL kitten-shark,” said Dirk, too glibly, “then you'd notice.”

    Without any warning, Todd grabbed Dirk’s tie, tugging until they were nearly nose to nose.

    “We’re meant to be here, and everything’s connected,” he said. “Just fucking tell me.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,000
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    112
    Kudos:
    195
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1630
  11. Tags
    Summary

    The universe has a message for Friedkin to deliver. Unfortunately, the full moon and a car accident stop things going to plan, and he ends up in a cell in Bergsberg. Help is on its way - but so is Blackwing.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,347
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    54
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    318
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk was not a coward.

    “Come on out Icarus,” Priest cooed, his tone soft and terrifyingly menacing.

    There was absolutely no way Dirk would voluntarily go to Priest, even if it meant the agent might show him some small measure of leniency. Nope, he was just going to stay exactly where he was, huddled in a silent ball of misery and, rather heroically in his opinion, not break into hysterical sobs of terror.

    Because hello, not a coward.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,177
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    159
    Kudos:
    266
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    3710
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Like their parents before them, Todd and Amanda get jobs with the oh-so-benevolent government organisation that is Blackwing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,847
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    105
  14. Tags
    Summary

    When the reality is in danger, a message is spread all over the Univers: The promise of pain that will overcome everyone in the Cosmos. And on the verge of the end of the world, only one man can save us all. His name is Dirk Gently.

    A dysfunctional trio, a powerful pack, a missing girl, highly intelligent children, several people disappeared, a backwards clock, loads of ketchup and three words:

    Everything is connected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,922
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    136
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk Gently is not a leaf floating along the stream of creation. He's a stone sinking straight down into the deep dark cold. Todd's been taken and Dirk would trade his very life to get his friend back safe and sound, but first he's going to have to run.

    Crippled by fear and an increasingly tempestuous relationship with the universe, he finds that every step is a struggle in a battle he can't afford to lose. But it isn't a fight he has to face alone, and Farah's not about to let him drown.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,540
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    131
    Kudos:
    93
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1242
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Young Svlad Cjelli would say he was entirely comfortable with things never making sense. That was the way the world was for him always. But ghosts, vampires and murderous little girls may be a little bit overkill.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,127
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    223
  17. Tags
    Summary

    He stumbles further, grasping at the ragged remains of his throat, more blood splattering over his hand and onto the floor. Mr Priest slips. Mr Priest falls. And goes still.

    The blood does not stop coming out of his throat. It spreads out below his head like a repulsive, brackish halo. Dirk does not stop screaming.

    Bart continues to stare at the body. Then she falls to her knees and vomits on the floorboards.

     

    (Or an End of the FXXXing World AU)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,056
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    17
    Hits:
    272
  18. Tags
    Summary

    After Wendimoor, everyone returned to their lives, lulled into a false sense of security. They weren't expecting Blackwing to take one of their own. Their only hope of getting their friend back is to join forces, along with a little bit of help from some unexpected sources...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,463
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    172
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency receives a fair number of cases from a fair number of people, so it's probably not really that noteworthy when one just happens to be ex-Blackwing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,876
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    205
  20. Tags
    Summary

    ‘I dunno what to do, drummer,’ he mumbles. ‘I dunno.’

    In that moment, Amanda realizes she’s got to take charge. The boys are gone, Vogel sounds as if he’s about to cry and Todd is not even an option at this point so they’re on their own. All alone. On the run. But there’s no time for that anxiety, not now that they’re stranded and without any feasible compass and-

    Amanda suppresses it and takes a deep breath.

    Okay.

    She can do this. She has to do this.

    ‘Hey. Vogel,’ she makes herself say it before her fear can make her think twice. ‘I think I’ve got a plan.’
    --
    What happens directly after the Blackwing resurgence at the end of Season 1. There's a general focus on the rowdies, but pretty much everybody shows up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,993
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    139

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