1 - 20 of 130 Works in Karkat Swearing

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat Vantas has been through hell and back, multiple times. When he was young-
    You know what, he doesn't have fucking time for this vague and confusing philosophical bullshit. Like seriously, is his inner realizations about how much his life might change important to anybody? He highly fucking doubts it!
    This shit is what someone who actually cared about fate would do, say something ultimately pointless and seem *mysterious*. Fucking bravo. But Karkat knows fate is almost as fake as magic, so he doesn't waste his time wondering if the cosmos will line up perfectly for something important to happen, or whatever it is someone who believes in fate would say.
    Screw waiting for fate or miracles, Karkat has a job to do and he can't waste any time on things like that.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,163
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    142
  2. Tags
    Summary

    At age 12, Karkat and his older brother, Kankri, are finally moving back into their old family home. It is at a nearby dock that Karkat meets a Merman named John, who is more than eager to make friends with the lonely boy. Unfortunately for him, Karkat's more than a little reluctant to make friends with a mythical creature.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    58,388
    Chapters:
    45/?
    Comments:
    233
    Kudos:
    364
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    4066
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Dave's read those stupid soulmate happily-ever-after articles, and he finds them completely cliche. Wouldn't anyone? Their filled with guarantees and fake smiles. It's almost sickening. So there is one thing that everyone ought to know about Dave: he does not give two shits who turns out to be his stupid soulmate, even if she's hot and smart. Because there is one thing Dave knows for sure...that relationships don't last, and they are not, in any way, "perfect".

    Updated Weekly (and sometimes sporadically) Starting 7/28/18

    Rewritten by: Miracle_Novelist and DragonCakie

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,789
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    411
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Based on a tumblr post by unintelligible-screaming in which Dave has a YouTube channel where he reviews random things, and Karkat binge watches his videos in an exhausted state at three am. Karkat then proceeds to send Dave a ten-page rant about how his channel is weird and confusing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    63,724
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    114
    Kudos:
    471
    Bookmarks:
    57
    Hits:
    4590
  5. Tags
    Summary

    The Rebellion AU from the Vantas side of things

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,559
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    79
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    566
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Running an Empire is difficult enough, even without having to completely restructure it. And when you add in aliens, alliances, and the proclivity of things to go screwy, it only gets worse.
    But Karkat has always been able to rise above the challenges he's had to face. He can do it again.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,390
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    85
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Kurloz Makara doesn't like Cronus Ampora, despite him occasionally attracting business with his street performances. He finds him to be a smug, rude, narcissistic asshole with too many layers, too many reasons to not like what he's hiding. He wants to peel away those layers and tear down the human's walls. And no matter what the others say, he's not flushed for the asshole... Right?

    Cronus Ampora thinks Kurloz Makara is a fucking creepy asshole who grates on his nerves. He finds the tall troll to be a smug asshole who likes to piss him off for no reason other than to get a reaction out of him. He knows there's something more, but he's not making a dent in the troll's barriers.

    It doesn't help that they prefer the company of few and far between, and they both prefer the same group of people, but when Kurloz opens up to Cronus, and Cronus opens up to him, they see a lot more than they expected. In the background of this mess, Karkat is planning out a movie as Jade collects money on who will crack first.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    83,905
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    417
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Tony always thought that he had done everything and every one. Then one day he was asked if he had ever had sex with a troll. This led him down a new path full of shock, pain, rescue and eventually true friendship and happiness. It also led him to saving almost all of the trolls treated as "pets" or slaves on earth. But that was a side benefit.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,411
    Chapters:
    36/?
    Comments:
    127
    Kudos:
    209
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    5224
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Gamzee was a simple troll when he was young, all he wanted was to chill with his friends and slam a Faygo.
    When he was ten, reality struck him hard about the horns and showed him what's what.
    Family helped him down a rough road to sobriety, Feferi became the Empress, and he became the new Grand Highblood.
    Six sweeps later, Gamzee's younger self may as well be dead for all they share in common.
    He is no longer naive or carefree; trying to change the beliefs of his family so they can be free was a heavy burden to carry.
    Lately all he's been doing is bringing trolls old enough to Feferi so she can show them what's what.
    Gamzee is a simple troll now that he's older, all he wants is trolls to be happy and his family to be safe.
    When Aradia suggests that he see Feferi address the young trolls, he doesn't think much about it.
    When he sees it, he thinks maybe reality has another schoolfed up and ready for him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    125,607
    Chapters:
    24/24
    Comments:
    164
    Kudos:
    135
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1437
  10. Tags
    Summary

    If you say
    Good-bye today
    I'd ask you to be true
    'Cause the hardest part of this
    Is leaving you

    Aradia Megido had not known love or loss until she met Karkat Vantas.
    At 17, the boy from the hospital is gruff and rude, but she knows he has a heart of gold. But will it be enough for them to be happy?
    Aradia finds herself troubled by this arrogant boy and becomes overwhelmed with feelings she dare not name.
    Will her conscience allow her to do whatever is needed to stop herself from getting hurt again?
    THIS STORY IS A REWRITE! THE ORIGINAL CAN BE FOUND HERE
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,442
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    334
  11. Tags
    Summary

    THIS SERIES IS BEING REWRITTEN!

    Many apologies for all of the followers of this story! I am rewriting it, because EW look at the awful quality of the chapters. I think I was around 13-14 when I started writing it, so obviously I've gotten a lot better now lol. You can find the new one here! <3

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,244
    Chapters:
    23/?
    Comments:
    126
    Kudos:
    70
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    2216
  12. Tags
    Summary

    A large group of internet friends from across the group. Some of them might have a criminal record. Several of them have relationships that, if fully realized, could lead to an explosive reaction as destructive as several bombs going off. None of them have very long fuses.

    They're all going to meet up over winter break.

    Vriska and Terezi have a past, with an uncomfortably high body count.
    Dave and Karkat seem to have made it a life's mission to get on each other's nerves.
    Rose and Kanaya get along great online, but will they be able to translate their chemistry from words into actions?
    Roxy and Jane want to save Calliope from her abusive brother, but they don't know just how dangerous her family is.
    Dirk and Jake, aka two teenaged boys who probably couldn't communicate their true feelings to save their lives.
    But don't worry. They've totally got this situation under control.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,802
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    83
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1160
  13. Tags
    Summary

    In which Karkat isolates himself in the first few weeks due to extreme paranoia and depression, and those closest to him try to figure out how to help him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,825
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    457
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Dave strider has a dream about his good friend karkat, kanaya finds out and karkat has a cry. I'll try and update every month or so.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,973
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    227
  15. Tags
    Summary

    "You know what I'm looking forwards to the most, Carter?" He asks.

    "No, what?" You ask back.

    "Not having lived the same damn year three times over," he smiles, a rare, genuine one. "Sure, I've lived it in different places, and gone to different places... but I don't know what's coming next after today and I'm EXCITED."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    278,153
    Chapters:
    64/64
    Comments:
    636
    Kudos:
    70
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    2197
  16. Tags
    Summary

    The two Strider-Lalonde twins move in with their great aunt Roxy in Oregon for the summer for some "fresh air" and "memory making." The two are less than thrilled--Rose had her heart set on spending the break from high school working on her novel, drinking tea, and reading, and Dave just wanted to hang around town with his buddies and write rap music--but they quickly realize there's more to the little town than meets the eye. With their two brand-new best friends in tow, they're going to not only go on ass-kicking adventures, gain superpowers, and fulfill an ancient prophesy, but they're on track to discover the true dramatic past that links their families together and the real mystery of the monsters/aliens/whatevers living in the forest.

     

    Where doing this man. Where making this happen.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,330
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    298
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat pesters Jade about something important.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,247
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    24
    Hits:
    179
  18. Tags
    Summary

    PTSD's a helluva thing.

    Describes an incident referenced in Self-Flagellating Masturbatory Pity Party Solo Hour, but can be read as a stand-alone.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,108
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    93
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    734
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is DAVE STRIDER and this guy just said the words on your thigh.

    (So, in this Soulmate AU you have a phrase that appears usually from 5th to 8th grade. This phrase is the first words your soulmate says to you. Most of the time your soulmate will have moved to your town or you'd see them when it appears. When you first get it, it feels getting a tattoo. When you eventually find you're soulmate the mark will burn, softly but it will still hurt a bit. If at any point in time your soulmate dies before you, your mark will be crossed out. It will feel like a knife slowly dragging across each word. For a year after that if you look at anyone you might be even remotely attracted to. Your mark will burn and sting. After maybe 2-3 years that pain will be gone, and you will be "free" to date. It will not work out, however. If they find their soulmate you'll be left alone. But if someone else who has gone through the pain of losing a soulmate then it may work out. Now, this is my AU there are many like it but this one is mine. You can use the idea of it just credit me -AD)

    Hiatus

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,012
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    452
  20. Tags
    Summary

    The world as you knew it went to shit. Humans enslaved Trolls, and those who fought for peace were killed as an example.

    You work as a CNA in your town's hospital, and were on your way home when some assmunch beats on one of the smaller guys. You step in and ultimately seal your fate.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,925
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    118
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1009

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