1 - 20 of 188 Works in Kaminoans Being Assholes (Star Wars)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    As relations between the Bothan Clans become more tenuous, Clan Askar and the Spynet make separate plans for revenge against the Tarkins. Meanwhile, with potential breakthroughs for Stardust on the horizon, Supreme Chancellor's Strategic Advisory Cell initiates a frantic search for MGX-93776. As conditions on the planet deteriorate, Republic forces struggle to survive.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    90,375
    Chapters:
    38/39
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    88
  2. Tags
    Summary

    "Pressure makes gems, ease makes decay."

    CT-143-535 is a perfect replica of his Prime; one Claymore 'Dream' Fett (may his soul find peace in the manda, no matter how much he'd hate it). Too perfect. Instead of ageing in leaps like his vode, he ages at a snail's pace. At twelve he looks twelve, not twenty-four like his birth batch. If the kaminiise had caught on, he'd be decommissioned before you could say 'as you were, soldier.' His ori'vode had been switching him out with brothers from other batches since he was decanted. It was clockwork at this point: stay with a batch for a year until there is a noticeable age difference, wait in an empty storage bay, say his goodbyes, and follow whichever ARC came to collect him and adopt their assigned number. No one could remember his original at this point, he was just Tommy. Thomas, if he was in trouble.

    It was an unchanging routine, which made it all the more troubling when Blitz didn't show up to switch him out, four years into the war.

    Or, when the Galactic Empire comes for the Kamino Cloning Facilities, clone!Tommy gets the heck out of dodge. And lands on Mando!Sam's doorstep.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,511
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Kudos:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    30
  3. Tags
    Summary

    When Tech gets injured, Omega gets curious about his tattoo.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,247
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    58
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    414
  4. Tags
    Summary

    In the days immediately following the destruction of Kamino, the members of the Bad Batch have much to process. Also, Tech and Echo discover that the AZI unit stored a whole collection of data files that provide insights into their past and future.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,923
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    75
    Kudos:
    98
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    2064
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Plo Koon was breathing, which would be the opposite of a problem if he had not been dead just a few minutes ago.
    He had been told all his life that "When it comes to the Force, all things are possible," but time travel is pushing it a bit even for the Jedi. Still, he was more than ready to take advantage of the unique situation--starting, of course, by saving his sons.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,728
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    97
    Kudos:
    255
    Bookmarks:
    63
    Hits:
    3513
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Five’s eyes widened, and he dropped his blaster, for the first time ever Fives was speechless.

    “What is it,” Echo began to panic, “Fives, what do you see?”

    Fives didn’t look away.

    “There's a kid in here.”

    Or if Omega was created earlier and rescued by the 501st

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,807
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    125
    Kudos:
    436
    Bookmarks:
    82
    Hits:
    8761
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Der offizielle Klappentext:
    Jojo und Nici hatten ja viel geplant, aber sicher nicht, dass sie irgendeiner der doofen Valar wieder in eine andere Welt schickt und sie auf einem Jedikreuzer aufwachen. Was anfänglich als Spaß beginnt, wird bald bitterer Ernst - immerhin sind die Klonkriege in vollem Gange und auch Palpatine hat gehörig etwas gegen unbewusst Rebellionen anstiftende Teens. Schnell müssen die zwei lernen, dass der Schatten des künftigen Imperators weiterreicht, als sie mit Taschenlampen namens blöde Ideen diese Dunkelheit ausmerzen könnten – und Palpatine wird um das Verrecken verhindern, als das sie sein sorgfältig gesponnenes Netz einreißen.

    Der inoffizielle Klappentext, geschrieben von Jojo:
    Formulieren wir es anders: Das Chaos ist zu Besuch im Star Wars-Universum.
    So ein Scheiß. Na denn wollen wir mal, eine Klonrevolte anzetteln, Krell umbringen, den Jedi-Orden bloßstellen und das alles möglichst ohne, dass uns dabei wer absticht.
    Lasset die Spiele beginnen!

    Language:
    Deutsch
    Words:
    120,586
    Chapters:
    53/?
    Comments:
    80
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1078
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Fox gets stuck in Solitary confinement on Kamino. It's not an unfamiliar experience.
    .
    ..
    ...
    ....
    Whumptober 2021
    Day 20
    Solitary Confinement.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,007
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    163
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Her new room is cold the way that only exists in space. And quiet too. Empty. Ahsoka is afraid to breathe, afraid to move, in the all-consuming quiet of her Commander's quarters. She's never slept alone before.

     

    -
    Both the Jedi and the Clones are raised in communal living and communal sleeping. None of these idiots can sleep alone.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,486
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    193
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    2347
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Days after the death of Duchess Satine, Anakin Skywalker leaves the Jedi Order after a long conversation with his master. Months later, Ahsoka Tano returns from her life in the Undercity to find a world where the Clone Wars has ended, Sheev Palpatine is dead, and there is peace again. Even with the war over, the Kaminoans are staking a claim on the clones, Maul is still out there, and the war has not left its participants unscarred. Cross Posted on FF.net

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    85,796
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    475
    Kudos:
    495
    Bookmarks:
    69
    Hits:
    15204
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Jango Vhett was Mand’alor only briefly to the Mandalorian Empire before he was captured by the Jetii and Republic forces on Galidraan.

    Now an unwilling guest on Kamino, he is buir to Boba and he fears his protection can only stretch so far for the rest of the children made in his image. Jango doesn’t know if he can save all of the clones from the Kaminoans or the Republic, but he does know this: Verde sa akaan nau tracyn kad. Warriors are forged in the fires of war.

    These children are made for war, and they have been fighting to stay alive since their creation.

    Ba’jur bal Beskar’gam, Ara’nov, Aliit, Mando’a bal Ba’juir. An vencuyan val.
    Education and Armour, Self-defence, Clan, Mando’a and Mentor. All will help them survive.

    Jango will teach them everything he knows. Until such a time he can bring them all home.

    He will do what he must to save them.

    Ade cuyir vencuyot. Ibic haar Manda.
    Children are the future. This is the Way.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,388
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    190
    Kudos:
    292
    Bookmarks:
    58
    Hits:
    8141
  12. Tags
    Summary

    He’d known how some of the men are with younglings—known from Waxer and Boil how sharply those attachments can form with little ones. Hell, the men were raised to be protective, so much so that Obi-Wan has often wondered if their protective drive was not written into their very atoms, some intrinsic part of their DNA.

    It wasn’t something Obi-Wan had ever questioned. He’d thought he had understood the scope of it. In reality, he hadn’t understood a thing.

    Not until Kamino.

    Or: Not all that dive from cliffs make a running head start. Sometimes, the Fall is only a natural progression.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,992
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    114
    Kudos:
    1071
    Bookmarks:
    352
    Hits:
    7225
  13. Tags
    Summary

    When High General Yoda asked Nehutyc if he would allow himself to be assigned to his grandpadawan, Nehutyc thought it would be an honour.
    He was half right.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,509
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    77
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    438
  14. Tags
    Summary

    He remembered the first time they handed his class blasters. Nobody had expected them to be loaded. He had been spared from catching a stray bolt, but not all of them were as lucky. They all had a much larger respect for their weapons now that they understood why the floors in this room were stained and equipped with drains. Trial by fire, the weapons instructor had called it. He often wishes they had taken that more literally.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,142
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    43
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Fox needs to get beaten, he just doesn't know how to express it.
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    ...
    ....
    Whumptober 2021
    Day 14
    Beaten

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,393
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    46
    Hits:
    304
  16. Tags
    Summary

    CT-9044 is in over her head. As a member of Clone Force 99, otherwise known as the “Bad Batch”, Forty has proven herself as a skilled sniper time and time again. But when she is placed into a political role at the command of the Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi, she finds herself lost in the glamorous world of Republic politics, and the intrigue that comes along with such a station. She hates it. But still, there’s something desireable about attracting the attention of a Jedi, isn’t there?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,997
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    608
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Stuck on Kamino as the leading clone keeper, you have been leading a very repetitive life. At least, that was the case until you were given permission to raise the experimental clone batch 99 from infancy. Suddenly thrust into your new life as a clone parent, hopefully you can make it through the next four years unscathed and unattached to your babies. (Spoiler alert, you don't)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,883
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    930
  18. Tags
    Summary

    It’s part of the reason why he doesn’t blame Omega for aiding in the original operation.
    Because it’s almost nothing in comparison to that second one, the one that even Hunter couldn’t protect him from.
    .
    .
    The Kaminoans performed more than one operation on Tech’s eyes, but only they, himself, and Hunter know. And none of them ever talk about it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    579
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    300
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Cosy accuses Fox of cheating. There are unimagined consequences.
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    ...
    ....
    Whumptober 2021
    Day 7
    Helplessness

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,576
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    372
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “He’s got heart, I’ll give him that.” Hunter murmurs, smiling wistfully. “What do you think his mutations are?”
    “His aging is clearly much quicker than even ours.”
    “What about his back?”
    Tech shrugs. “He likely grew too quickly in his pod, and the Kaminoans did not catch it until it was too late.”
    “So, his back is their fault as much as your eyes are.”
    .
    .
    While gearing up for their first duo training session, Tech and Hunter meet a rather helpful maintenance clone.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,132
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    282

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