1 - 20 of 209 Works in John Egbert/Dirk Strider

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    You hate your boyfriend and his dumb robots and his stupid fixation with having everything done perfectly. Seriously, fuck him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,939
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    75
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Time changes everything. Opinions, humans, surroundings, reality, even the gods themselves. The only question that can't be answered, however, is what to do when time stops behaving as it should. The gods and mortals are in a race against increasingly erratic time and space in hopes of salvaging this world they all live in.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,212
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    117
  3. Tags
    Summary

    John Egbert was a normal 22 year old, college student. For summer vacation he and his sister, Jade Harley, flew to Dallas, Texas to see their long time friend, Dave Strider, and his brothers. Luckily, the Zombie virus had not spread to Dallas yet, so they were quite safe for the expected two week stay with their Texan friends.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,835
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    93
  4. Tags
    Summary

    He tells you that he wonders what it would be like to snap your neck; if you'd scream and cry and kick like that first girl he and Dirk watched Bro kill, or if you'd whine and writhe like the animals he has kept in jars down in the basement. You tell him you want him to snap your neck. He tells you he doesn't think he could go through with it.


    8tracks.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,032
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    118
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1285
  5. Tags
    Summary

    You know you're not supposed to be in here, but you kinda can't get out without getting caught.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,959
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    109
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Jake works at the zoo, which is great until a monkey outsmarts him and escapes. Luckily, he has his three boyfriends back at home to make him forget all about work.

    Gifted to Viczen, who gave me the prompt for Jake working at a zoo (and having to capture an escaped animal) almost two fucking years ago. Don't know if you are still into Homestuck but this is for you, friendo!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,754
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    557
  7. Tags
    Summary

    When John bought a car, no one was surprised. I mean, do I even have to tell you why? What kind of nineteen year old catholic boy doesn't want a shiny new ride to impress the ladies? Not this kind, for sure.
    The teen had been saving up for a while to spend all his money on a beat up Volkswagen, save a little put to the side for gas money. His father wondered why John would take any interest in some old van, but never questioned the boy. He was growing into a fine young man and could most definitely start to make his own decisions .
    What no one expected -not even John- was for the new driver to pack a small back of clothes and a sleeping bag into the back of his van, announcing to friends and family that he was going off on an adventure.
    When anyone would ask John, "Why?" he would simply reply with "Why not?" followed by a reassuring grin.
    "But you'll miss Mass. What about school? College? Don't you have a girlfriend? What about a job?!" Each question was always silenced by the same answer. "Why not? These are all things I can leave behind, can't I?"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,029
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    57
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    881
  8. Tags
    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    611
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    118
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk and John aren't exactly sure how they ended up in this changing room stall, but now they're here and the friends they came to hang out with are in the stalls around them, and maybe that's hot in a way they don't want to think about too hard and the prospect of doing something they probably shouldn't is a little too appealing to ignore.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,638
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    437
  10. Tags
    Summary

    It takes a lot for Dirk to escape his own mind, and his escalating needs are starting to get out of hand. The first time John kills him, it's accidental, angry, and if they'd been better people that might have been where it ended.

    They aren't better people. If Dirk can admit to himself that he's willing to let someone else into his depraved escapism, they might be the only ones whose particular desires can finally bring each other satisfaction.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,874
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    187
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Vriska has a problem, but aggressively pretends she doesn't; Dirk and Rose graciously take turns dissecting hapless newcomers; John and Feferi are friendleaders! and here to help! and just really goddamn suspicious in general; Dave is a trolling troll who trolls trolls with nothing to lose; Karkat is gloriously, bitterly ashen for everyone; and Aradia is always watching you. Yes, you.

    Meanwhile, time marches steadily closer to the day that all of their lives irrevocably change.

    And in the support group that nobody will admit is actually a support group, everyone tries their best to be strong.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,919
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    315
  12. Tags
    Summary

    "Dear Lord," he starts, "I know there are many children struggling in this day and age with temptation. Sometimes we feel pressured to commit sins, but please do not hold this against my son. John promises to do better in the future and learn from his mistakes, right?"

    John crosses his fingers underneath the table, and prays for the food to still be warm once his dad is done spewing bullshit. "I promise, God."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,848
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    421
  13. Tags
    Summary

    A fic for where I'll post my hopefully millions of Homestuck drabbles.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,844
    Chapters:
    23/?
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    193
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk owns a flower shop. One afternoon, a cute guy barges in with a very specific request.

    Well, this should be fun.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,868
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    65
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    273
  15. Tags
    Summary

    With the end of Sburb, the world was reset. The kids grew up, not knowing of what had occured in their previous lives, they never knew the trials they went through, only the reward of living again.

    Yet, memories come back in bubbles of dreams and hazy visions. One cannot simply forget their past.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,323
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    363
  16. Tags
    Summary

    This is basically a series of interconnected vignettes using the challenge lists...because I like them. It will not be done in 30 days or 60 days, it will probably be longer than that. John is of age in this fic, although there is roughly a 10 year age difference between the two.

    This is a sequel to my "A Surprisingly Compatible Relationship" fic, but you don't have to read that to understand what's going on in this fic. Also, each chapter is mostly self-contained (meaning if you don't like a chapter you can skip it without losing any understanding of what's going on). So if you don't want to read the NSFW chapters you can totally skip them without hurting you ability to understand the story.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,334
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    471
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Don't let the title fool you, there is no real debate here. Everyone knows John Egbert is actually, 100%, totally, indeniably adorable.

    (dont read this its dumb)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    580
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    391
  18. Tags
    Summary

    You grow up believing soulmates don't exist.

    Then, you fall in love and start hoping they might.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,026
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    258
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is James Crocker, and you have survived the end of the world.

    Despite everything that was expected, this turned out to be a minor inconvenience at best.

    What do you do now, you may ask?

    You write a guidebook to everything you're learning about the brand new world around you, your extended family, your extended reality, and maybe along the way you find your own place in the unexpectedly bright post-apocalyptic future.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,486
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    103
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    567
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is Dave Elizabeth Strider and you think you're in love. Maybe he will grow to love you, too.

    Your name is Dirk Ambrose Strider and you just want your brother to be happy. You will do whatever it takes.

    Your name is John Huxtable Egbert and you are very scared. And you think you may want to die.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,198
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    47
    Kudos:
    202
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    3060

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