1 - 20 of 590 Works in John Egbert/Dirk Strider

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    dirk finally gets affected by trickster mode.
    alternatively: the weird anatomical rearranges alien drugs can do and the crazy sex that results from it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,973
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    190
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk and John are treading the uncharted territory of their shifted relationship, and the one thing neither of them thought twice about before somehow turns into a source of anxiety for the both of them.
    See also: John randomly gets skittish despite being terribly tactile, and Dirk is overthinking it instead of just asking why.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,646
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    145
  3. Tags
    Summary

    He's possibly the most incorrectly built human you've met, but that's kind of rude to say, and you shouldn't even be thinking it. The way his limbs stretch out and fasten together like they're the wrong pieces forced together, the way his words are disjointed and stiff, the way he tries so hard to act so cool but can never hide the visible discomfort in his posture. He is the sole reason your world changed and started crumbling, but you can't blame him for just being himself. It's hard to know whether you are also plagued with his discomfort in life or if you somehow wish you could be so true to yourself like he is. All you can really tell is that he makes you so viscerally curious that you can't help but want to figure out what makes him tick and how to fit his bones in their proper place.

    This shouldn't be how you feel about him. He's not your friend, he's not interested in you, and there's so much wrong with how you're feeling.

    --
    work begins in highschool but won't stay in highschool
    the preamble to my work "oh tiny love" so yeah nonverbal dirk ftw
    johns not homophobic but he sure fucking seems like it (smh)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,676
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    257
  4. Tags
    Summary

    John Egbert has never played Dungeons and Dragons. Well, not until Dave Strider convinces him to. By making his brother teach John how to play. Shenanigans ensue.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,677
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    41
  5. Tags
    Summary

    PLEASE READ: this fanfic primarily focuses on john, and dirkjohn is more of a background thing with small amounts of interaction.

    vent fic i made, sorry about that. mature rating since its focuses on (my experiences with) mental illness and yeah (written on mobile because i dont have a computer, sorry if it looks weird or anything. also dont know how to format pesterchum text logs/dont know if i can on mobile)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,011
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    56
  6. Tags
    Summary

    There is a storm on Earth C and a storm in Dirk's head, both indirectly caused by the same individual going off the radar without warning.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,550
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    279
  7. Tags
    Summary

    There are many things Dirk Strider hates about living in New York City- the weather, the noise, annoying people on the subway to name a few. The more time he spends with his new next door neighbor, a musician named John, the more he will have to accept (albeit reluctantly) that not everything about this city is so bad.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,424
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    278
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Dave went after Jake English, the popular guy at his college, even though people had warned him numerous times that he wasn't that nice.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,417
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    156
  9. Tags
    Summary

    The house John lives in is not his father’s. He alchemized a new one a year ago, unable to bear the pictures on the wall, his father’s study, his father’s room, the kitchen—all of it. There came a point he could not bear to leave his room because just stepping into the all-too-familiar hallway made him sick to his stomach to the point of wanting to retch over the threshold. It’s your fault, John. It’s your fault he’s gone. And you still dare to exist in the remnants of his presence?

    No.

    No, he didn’t dare.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,380
    Chapters:
    1/5
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    147
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Rose and Kanaya try to endure raising their children as best as they possibly could as Creators of Earth C, while their eldest concerningly outgrows from underneath them.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,545
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    815
  11. Tags
    Summary

    He’s John fucking Crocker. Funniest guy in Hollywood. He’s got Netflix specials coming out the wazoo. His comedy tour is sold out across the board.

    Everybody loves him, but nobody knows him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    102,566
    Chapters:
    19/28
    Comments:
    708
    Kudos:
    712
    Bookmarks:
    91
    Hits:
    13750
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Some Homestuck Characters go to a Movie Night. Includes Human Names to All Characters.
    -> ¡ You Can Read The Chapters In Any Order ! <-

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,552
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Hits:
    98
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is John Egbert and you're crushing hard on Dave's young adult ecto-father.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    988
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    382
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk and John both have too high of sex drives for their own goods.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,349
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1480
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Its Thanksgiving. Want to skip that long insulting conversation about how you're still single? Well, look no further!
     
    I am a 26 year old felon with no high school degree and a bedsit full of robotic body parts. I can play anywhere between the ages of 20 and 29 depending on how much hair product I use. Im a freelance technician and work late nights at a bar fixing sound equipment for terrible musicians. If you'd like to have me as your strictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship with you, to torment your family, I'm game.

    John finds the perfect prank to pull on his dad for Thanksgiving.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,856
    Chapters:
    9/10
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    117
    Kudos:
    308
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    3496
  16. Tags
    Summary

    пажи и принцы, рыцари и ведьмы. королевства дерс и проспит. красный и лаймовый. у всего, у самых диаметральных противоположностей, есть свое предназначение, своя роль, своя история, с началом и концом, и каждый должен следовать им до самого последнего вздоха, до скончания времени, до исчезновения света. твое имя — джон эгберт, и ты был рожден пажом сердца, рожденным чтобы служить и не чувствовать его биения в своей груди. или нет?

    Series
    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    6,381
    Chapters:
    4/14
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    138
  17. Tags
    Summary

    “I think there’s something wrong with me,” he mumbled around the lump forming in the back of his throat. “I think going godtier messed up my brain somehow. ‘Cause like, Breath’s all about… not having attachments. So. Maybe I just can’t feel romance and stuff like I’m supposed to.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,739
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    67
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    337
  18. Tags
    Summary

    How to put a boy back together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,967
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    491
  19. Tags
    Summary

    "Sollux got his revenge, he ruined the previously fit Dirk Strider and the moderately in shape John Egbert."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,288
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    470
  20. What Friends Are For by Anonymous

    Fandoms: Homestuck  

    26 Mar 2022

    Tags
    Summary

    John knows that he owes Dirk. Dirk brought him back to life, not to mention the way he's generously given John the room he sleeps in and the food he eats.

    John just isn't sure that Dirk should be getting this out of him in return.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,327
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    399

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