14 Works in Jess the Beheader

Listing Works

  1. Tags
    Summary

    Our heroes' first mission as Reclaimers for the Bureau of Balance. Their initial task is an impossible one: do they possess the competence required to be on time for a train? The answer may surprise you. If you've read the title, however, it probably won't surprise you that Taako, Magnus, and Merle get all up in the business of a murder mystery.

    Note: This work is part of a collection aiming to adapt the incredible TAZ: Balance arc into a cohesive series of novels. I have several friends who are eager to experience the story but, for various reasons, cannot handle podcasts. Until the graphic novels catch up, this is for them. The story, plot, and characters belong to Griffin, Travis, Justin, and Clint McElroy; I highly recommend enjoying the incredible story through their podcast if you are capable of doing so. They're a lot funnier than I can ever hope to be. Otherwise, please enjoy!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,485
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    111
  2. Tags
    Summary

    After being trapped in cave for who knows how long, Lup encounters a pair of adventurers. Will they help her find who she's been looking for?
    Basically, the entire podcast, but Lup and Taako essentially switch places (with some adjustments).
    SPOILERS

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    63,419
    Chapters:
    22/?
    Comments:
    47
    Kudos:
    93
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1365
  3. Tags
    Summary

    When Phandalin goes up in flames practically overnight, world-famous detective Angus McDonald is on the case (whether his services are specifically requested or not). But what to do with its lone survivor? One elven little boy and his umbrella may just hold all the answers... ...and prove to be Angus's greatest unsolved mystery yet. One thing's for sure: it's bad luck to open an umbrella indoors.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    98,148
    Chapters:
    30/?
    Comments:
    1077
    Kudos:
    930
    Bookmarks:
    138
    Hits:
    9652
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Griffin: I'm just saying, we need to do a series wrap on Jenkins this episode, cause I don't think I'm gonna be able to do him next week.

    Travis: I kill Jenkins!

    Griffin: Wait, what?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,340
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    61
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    473
  5. Tags
    Summary

    The gang goes, for the first time, to Magnus’ house for a Halloween party. They bring less booze this year and more food to Razzle Dazzle their night away to spoopy music.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,684
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    68
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Each waking up with two strangers at his side, Merle, Magnus, and Taako make their way through dangerous situations whilst enlisted by a strange but seemingly well-natured organization.

    Calenture: n. A Feverish Delirium

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,411
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    21
  7. Tags
    Summary

    It’s time for another time-honored school tradition. Taako’s looking forward to it. Lucas really isn’t. Angus doesn’t know quite what to expect. It turns out better than anyone hoped.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,683
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    147
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    754
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Magnus is dealing with Julia's death the way all professional wrestlers deal with everything. Which is to say, poorly.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    830
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    43
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Tres Horny Boys find themselves embroiled in a legal battle with the owners of the Rockport Limited, who need someone to answer for their missing train, their dead employees, and all of the valuables they were transporting.

    With Angus McDonald as their lawyer, and cooperating witnesses on their side the proceedings should be a cinch, but things don't exactly go as planned...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,265
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    56
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Klarg was a crime boss.

    Then those three idiots burst into his life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,201
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    19
    Hits:
    102
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “Taako, what if she’s just gone?”
    “Who?”
    Barry’s head snapped up at the question, surprise registering on his face for an instant.
    “Ta- Taako? Taako, I’m…”
    “What if who’s gone?”
    Taako was staring at him in confusion now, not understanding, not remembering. Barry leaned forward, scrubbing at his face with one hand while he tried to force his way back up out of the fog that was settling into his mind. He tried to focus on something, anything. The static was filling his mind.
    “What are we…? Oh, god, Lup… Taako, I’m- I can’t remember her face, Taako. Taako, where-”
    “Whose face?”
    Taako was starting to get angry now. He really didn’t remember. Lup. Barry had to keep her name in his mind, had to force himself to keep remember. Even as he felt the static settling into his mind, he fought back. He would not lose her a second time.
    “Is this Fisher? Taako, k- kill me! Right now! I’ll- I’ll remember if I’m a lich, I can- please, Taako, just kill me! It’ll- I’ll be okay! I can’t forget, I’m, I’m, begging you, please, Taako! Please!”
    Taako had tears on his face as he raised his wand. Then he lowered it again. He couldn't kill his best friend. So why had he been about to?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,097
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    61
    Kudos:
    365
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    2468
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Birthday commission for my friend Taliesin!

    Jess the Beheader's biggest match ever has come to Rockport! Taako, having free tickets, books his hotel room a month in advance only to get to the venue and have his reservation lost!
    Thankfully, Kravitz steps in with a proposition to solve his problem.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,196
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    86
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    433
  13. Tags
    Summary

    A ruff boi, a flip wizard, a crunchy nature boy, two sweet flips gals, and an umbrella babe play "the last game you'll ever need to play". Things go wrong.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,987
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    65
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    806
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Klarg the bugbear's life changed forever when his family was taken to Lucas's lab, and changed again when he left, but he could never quite go back to life as it had been.
    And so far, everything's gone downhill from there.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,520
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    646

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