1 - 20 of 3105 Works in Jake English/Dirk Strider

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk Strider aches like a motherfucker these days. The mornings are too long, the afternoons too languid, the nights too excruciating. Balanced measures are lost on a sea of unfiltered bullshit verbatim and altercating thoughtspeak. He struggles with a narrator that is both his enemy and his facilitator while tripling as a sincerely alluring copy of himself. And even though he hasn't ever classified himself as a man of religion, he still bemoans: God, how i wish i could just get fucked.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,482
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    53
  2. Tags
    Summary

    TG: hey rose

    TT: Yes, Dave?

    TG: so i was thinking
    TG: what if we aka you me roxy dirk john jade jane jake raided area 51 like fr

    TT: Then we would be shot full of holes.

    TG: ok but ignoring the guns

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,054
    Chapters:
    9/10
    Comments:
    98
    Kudos:
    177
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    1531
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Illustrations only! Very low production value because I don't expect it to get any traction, but if enough people look I'll start actually putting effort in, haha. I'm choosing to put art here because I like how AO3 indexes ships, considering how I always seem to be doing rarepairs it'd be nice to not see this stuff fall into the void.

    Chapters denote different ships.
    CH1) DirkJade (3 images, updated 6/September/19)
    CH2) DaveRose (1 image, updated 6/September/19)
    CH3) Stridercest (3 images, updated 11/September/19)
    CH4) DirkJake (1 image, updated 7/September/19)
    CH5) RoxyCalliope (1 image, updated 19/September/19)

    I will add more chapters with new ships or otherwise update the image count and date when I add more.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    105
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    642
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Transcend, forget, remember, heal, make out with your hot media theory classmate if you can summon up the chutzpah. Vriska is there. Earth C and most of its gods have a lot of healing to do. Jake is excited to be included. One story ends, and life, in its infinite complexity, goes on.

    What happens after the conclusion of The Grand Battement of the Learned? Well, this.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,021
    Chapters:
    5/8
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    334
  5. Tags
    Summary

    >be Jake

    >get shipwrecked

    >forcibly befriend a snakeman

    >profit

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,117
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    181
  6. Tags
    Summary

    This is just a little thing I put together! They're based off of fluff prompts. I'll try to get as many done in a day as I can! These are all fluff, no angst, nothing bad. (I lied I'm sorry there's some angst-)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,662
    Chapters:
    6/24
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    121
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Rose Lalonde has been having visions for three years. No matter how unexpected they are they always come true. And as she lays in bed, dreaming about the day everything around her burns, she becomes scared of that fact.
    After her guardian's death, Jade Harley decides to leave her island behind. Being the only one aware of the prophecy written in the ancient ruins of her home, she sets out to find the Gods destined to be the world's salvation and destruction.
    (AKA Jade and Rose try to find the other kids to stop a catastrophe and fall in love along the way)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,261
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    110
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is Dirk Strider, and you seriously need to talk to someone.
    Of course, that's difficult when you've left everyone behind to stew in your own mental fears.

    AKA, Dirk reminisces about the nature of himself and his relations with everyone else after making a piss-poor choice.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    740
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    51
  9. Tags
    Summary

    -- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 23:58 --

    TG: yo dirk
    TG: bruh
    TG: dude are you home

    Your name is Dirk Strider and you are watching television on the sofa in your living room. It’s ass o’clock on your birthday that is coming to an end and Dave is asking you if you are home. Fucking weirdo. You decide to tell the truth because honestly, why does it matter if you are or not? You live about two thousand miles away from Dave in your trusty little home in San Francisco, California and he lives in Houston. Texas.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,500
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    244
  10. Tags
    Summary

    you cannot light the fire from inside the house; unless you desire to be in flames.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,091
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    103
  11. Tags
    Series
    • Part 18 of SFW
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,908
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    59
  12. Tags
    Summary

    They had did it, they had won... so why don't the other's remember? Why are they back on earth with their powers? What the hell is going on?

    John, Dave, Jake, Roxy and Karkat are the only ones who remember the game. That and their powers are still with them and they seem to be in another goddamn universe, so many things are different. They have families now that don't know anything about the game, Dave having to deal with two brothers at the same time now and John dealing having his dad back things are hard for the 5 of them and watch them try to live a somewhat normal life.

    However it seems that their fighting days aren't over as the Condesce keeps sending drones and imps keep appearing! So they form a secret group that will try their hardest to keep Earth safe!

    But the Condesce is coming and their friends and family become more and more suspicious, oh how their lives are soo complicated!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    189,892
    Chapters:
    33/?
    Comments:
    599
    Kudos:
    1122
    Bookmarks:
    128
    Hits:
    16512
  13. Tags
    Summary

    You’re not sure anything will ever quite compare to being the only person on the planet allowed to see Dirk Strider waking up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    413
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    117
  14. Tags
    Summary

    The documentation of the splintering psyche of a splintered man.

    Formatted for both mobile and desktop, but desktop provides a slightly more immersive experience.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,130
    Chapters:
    47/?
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    186
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    2884
  15. Tags
    Summary

    (found scrawled over two tacky and greying post-it notes that have long since lost their stick.)
    or, the one where dirk might have written this, but probably not.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    620
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    40
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Anything to cling to his personhood, and his personhood clings to Jake. Isn't that just a cosmic joke.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,399
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    46
  17. Tags
    Summary

    aren't you TIRED of longing? don't you just want to go APESHIT while dating your best bro? i mean, you've earned it, right?
    (Collection of oneshot comics. marked as complete, updates whenever)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    80
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    726
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Alright so I’ve done some weird shit in my life, but I’m pretty sure this takes the cake. After Jake decided to be and asshole, again, I broke up with him, again, this time for good… or at least until he got his head out of his ass because I’m a sap like that.

    But all in all that was pretty par for the course, what made this shit weird was the fact that the person who found and talked to me was one of the older trolls. You know the ones who had been dead for several millennia at least?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,399
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    15
    Hits:
    197
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is JAKE ENGLISH and gosh! Have things gone awry for you!

    Whether you've forced down gritty, raw meat first or stomached through sweet, terrible indulgence, neither outcome has been kind to you.

    Not to worry though! In this vast space, anything is possible, including a happy ending for someone like you.

    The question is, are you willing to work for it?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    60,517
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    385
  20. Tags
    Summary

    A relationship that falls like leaves on an autumn day.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    249
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    77

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