1 - 20 of 794 Works in Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    That which doesn't kill you can make you really weird in bed, and for a demon like Crowley who can be messily discorporated with no real lasting consequences to himself that line in the sand extends even further.

    Over the years he deals with the trauma of the Fall and his unrequited love for a certain beautiful angelic bastard in perhaps not the most healthy of ways, but Crowley is very much of the opinion that when the alternative is fucking up your relationship with your best friend forever you get creative, even if that means getting off by letting yourself be discorporated by natural disasters. It's not an ideal situation, but after pining for said best friend for almost as long as the world has existed, trying to work up the courage to confess that he loves him is bad enough, let alone that he would really like it if the angel did some appalling holy things to his decidedly unholy person.

    It's a dark and stormy night a week or so after the averted End of the World when Aziraphale finds out.

     

    Written for the Good Omens Big Bang 2019.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,127
    Chapters:
    1/7
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    328
  2. Tags
    Summary

    The Apocalypse has been averted--but after being relieved of duty by the head office, what’s a demon to do? Aziraphale stays busy with his bookshop, so Crowley decides to open his own business, a detective agency, right down the street. After all, detectives are cool and there might be car chases. His first case involves a mysterious blonde, a haunted house, and a reluctant angel who gets roped into the affair. Hopefully they can solve the case before one of them is killed—or inconveniently discorporated.
    Whump and more romance in future chapters.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,182
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    93
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1339
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale and Crowley dine at the Ritz one lovely Saturday afternoon.

    Surprised by a thoughtful gift from his demonic husband, Aziraphale finds himself in a rather embarrassing situation.

    Can he make it all the way through lunch without people noticing what secret pleasures the pair are indulging in?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,084
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    104
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale tilted his head to the side, firstly caught by the oddity of the question and secondly by the fact that he didn’t really know if they were ducks or not- now that Crowley had brought it up. They certainly looked like ducks, even if they weren’t acting particularly duck-like at that particular moment. They had to be ducks, hadn’t they?
    “Ducks.” The angel replied intelligently.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,844
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    35
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley and Aziraphale are grad students in the same French PhD programme. Crowley isn't sure if grad school is the place for him, whereas Aziraphale seems like he was born to be there.

    Grad School AU

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,501
    Chapters:
    12/13
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    683
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Anthony J. Crowley, fallen angel, the Serpent of Eden, professional nuisance, and demon who was definitely not a little, was most assuredly not jealous of the little currently seated on Aziraphale's lap. The little who was at this moment being bottle fed, looked at adoringly, and just generally being pampered, and petted, and cooed over by the aforementioned angel. His angel.

    Anthony J. Crowley, fallen angel, the Serpent of Eden, professional nuisance, and demon who was definitely not a little, was also lying.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    156,901
    Chapters:
    203/?
    Comments:
    2162
    Kudos:
    1720
    Bookmarks:
    132
    Hits:
    43046
  7. Tags
    Summary

    “Oh please. I am not that emotional when it comes to these matters.”

     “Angel, you got emotional when I made crepes and ruined the topping.”

     “Fair enough.”

     

    (Or, Crowley and Aziraphale have get their shit together when Crowley comes barreling home with a surprise.)

     

    ALSO - A QUICK NOTE: This thing has actually gotten popular enough to the point that I should make it clear that this A.) Is not entirely a kidfic B.) There is an underlying plot here and C.) I hate Micheal. Screw you, Micheal!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,904
    Chapters:
    23/31
    Comments:
    97
    Kudos:
    62
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1198
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Does happily ever after really exist?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,917
    Chapters:
    6/8
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    404
  9. Tags
    Summary

    After the Armageddon-that-wasn't, Crowley has found himself a new hobby: scaring ghost hunters, sowing mild discord, harmless fun.

    But when an old castle turns out to be an actual demon's lair, and a new Principality seeks Aziraphale for advice on humanity, things start escalating rapidly. An ancient demon is a threat they weren't prepared to face, and eventually the only chance to save a certain former Guard of the Eastern Gate is to literally dive into his mind and traverse his memories from times past...

    (This story is finished and updates regularly.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,113
    Chapters:
    9/15
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    622
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “Here’s some Wilde for you,” said Josh, sliding his hand upwards. “The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.”...Josh’s hand was at the crease of Aziraphale’s thigh. It gave a rough squeeze. Oh. Oh no.
    “No, really, I’m flattered, but I don’t -“ Aziraphale was starting to get desperate. Some excuse. Anything to shake this human off. His heart was beating fast, his hands began to tremble.
    “I think you do,” leered Josh. “Look at you. Don’t resist, Zira. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself.”
    “Joshua, I am not interested, you insufferable man…” Aziraphale trailed off as he looked around, frantic now. He looked to the bar, where a man – or something man-shaped in tight black pants - was pocketing his wallet and grabbing the bottle of scotch from the counter. Aziraphale swallowed, watching as Crowley began to make his way back over to the table.
    “I have a boyfriend,” blurted Aziraphale.

    ----

    Aziraphale and Crowley go drinking at pub trivia when a man from another team takes an interest in Aziraphale. Crowley is not impressed. Shenanigans ensue.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,232
    Chapters:
    4/6
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    91
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    635
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Hours after the Apocalypse is thwarted Crowley and Aziraphale know their time is running out.

    (I intend for this to be a very long series. So, buckle up and crank some Queen.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    179,136
    Chapters:
    30/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    442
    Kudos:
    412
    Bookmarks:
    68
    Hits:
    8895
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley deals with his feelings for Aziraphale by writing them down in a journal, intending on keeping them a secret for as long as he can.
    The journal, however, has other plans.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,084
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    159
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    467
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Taking Place after the Not-Pocalyspe but before the swap.
    A day when Heaven burned with rage and Hell sobbed without end.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,374
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    595
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley is a wicked, naughty demon who needs punishment and absolution. And Aziraphale is just the angel to give it to him. With this happy loophole, these two find a way to have some private time and release.
    Trouble is, Crowley really wants more.

    Nothing really but filthy, kinky fluff and some angsty celestials.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,241
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    544
  15. Tags
    Summary

    It is just barely summer again, the following year after the Apocalypse. Crowley and Aziraphale are finally married and in love with each other and life, but the larger world spins on.

    Wherein consequences are faced, choices are made, love is affirmed, destinies are fulfilled, and the Ineffable Game comes full circle.

    The final installment of the "Love, and Other Ineffable Things" series

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,399
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    73
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    438
  16. Tags
    Summary

    After the failed Apocalypse, Crowley and Aziraphale deal with the aftermath. Both are frightened and terrified, but at least they have each other.
    It's fluff and angst, but they have their happy end because they truly deserve it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,047
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    287
  17. Tags
    Summary

    31 Good Omens ficlets.

    #18 - Habit - Crowley is no stranger to a nunnery.

    #19 - Waiting - Making tea - making it properly - has become one of the true pleasures of Aziraphale’s existence.

    #20 - Sin - Crowley is a liar, so used to lying that he is still lying now, even as he holds onto Aziraphale so tightly the angel is worried his nails will rip holes in his coat.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,332
    Chapters:
    20/31
    Comments:
    110
    Kudos:
    129
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1202
  18. Tags
    Summary

    After the apocalypse-that-wasn’t, our favourite angel and demon duo finally confessed their love for one another and progressed their relationship to the next level.

    Now that they can truly be together, the couple decide to venture on a holiday abroad.

    Come follow our adorably ineffable dorks as they enjoy some well-deserved rest and recuperation.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,020
    Chapters:
    18/18
    Comments:
    70
    Kudos:
    199
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    3697
  19. Tags
    Summary

    It all started with Archangel Gabriel and Lord Beelzebub, one of the seven princes of hell, prince of gluttony.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,553
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    157
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “Well, last time I called you ‘nice’ you did react aggressively. And you were always so against me thanking you in the past, so why would it change now?”

    “Are you saying you’ve been doing it on purpose, to get a rise out of me? Why?” said the demon, getting half a step closer to the angel.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,435
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    74
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    414

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