I swear to God this is not crack
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Dishonor On Your Cow by mandarou
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
05 May 2017
Tags
Summary
“Sergeant Barnes?”
“Oh, hell no, don’t call him that, man,” Sam warned.
“Captain Fuck Off!” Barnes shouted over him. “Fight me!”
Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or just slink away. He managed to combine the two by pacing two steps and snorting instead. Like a bull.
“I’m gonna need you to calm your ass, Barnes,” Sam said as he went limp again, obstructing Barnes’s struggling under him. “This is so undignified. That is Captain goddamn America.”
“Captain goddamn America!” Barnes repeated, louder. And angrier.
Steve cleared his throat again. “I’ve been looking for you,” he told Barnes.
“I hope you brought lube this time!” Barnes shouted.
Series
- Part 1 of Dishonor
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That Is Not A Cow by mandarou
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
08 Oct 2017
Tags
Summary
Steve crouched down again, slowly, so he was on the same level as Bucky. “You remember me?” he asked desperately.
Bucky looked down at the portal remote Steve still held, then narrowed his eyes when he met Steve’s. “You let some yahoo experiment on you again, didn’t you? Some mad scientist said, ‘hold my beer,’ and you pushed the button, right?”
Do not read this without reading the first story, you will be so lost holy shit.
Series
- Part 2 of Dishonor
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Goodbye Vintage RCA Remote by mandarou
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
13 Oct 2017
Tags
Summary
So, you were visited by another you from another dimension. Walk it off.
Series
- Part 3 of Dishonor
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Бесчестье на твою корову! by resurcat
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
22 Jul 2020
Tags
Summary
- Сержант Барнс?
- Ой, я бы не стал так его называть, - предупредил Сэм.
- Капитан Ебанько! - проорал Барнс, барахтаясь под весом Уилсона. – Ну-ка иди сюда и дерись со мной!
Стив не знал, что делать – то ли засмеяться, то ли свалить в рассвет. Он умудрился совместить оба действия в одно, сделав пару шагов назад и фыркнув. Как бык на корриде.
- Давай-ка успокойся, Барнс, - вещал Сэм, пытаясь устаканить попытки Барнса ужом выскользнуть из-под него. – Неприлично получается. Это ж чёртов капитан Америка.
- Чёртов капитан Америка! – повторил за ним Барнс, вновь срываясь на крик.
Стив откашлялся.
- Я вроде как тебя искал, - сказал он Барнсу.
- Надеюсь, в этот раз смазку ты принёс! – проорал Барнс.Series
- Part 1 of Dishonor
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[Podfic] Dishonor on Your Cow by wtfrenchtoast
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
05 Apr 2019
Tags
Summary
“Sergeant Barnes?”
“Oh, hell no, don’t call him that, man,” Sam warned.
“Captain Fuck Off!” Barnes shouted over him. “Fight me!”
Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or just slink away. He managed to combine the two by pacing two steps and snorting instead. Like a bull.
“I’m gonna need you to calm your ass, Barnes,” Sam said as he went limp again, obstructing Barnes’s struggling under him. “This is so undignified. That is Captain goddamn America.”
“Captain goddamn America!” Barnes repeated, louder. And angrier.
Steve cleared his throat again. “I’ve been looking for you,” he told Barnes.
“I hope you brought lube this time!” Barnes shouted.
***
Podfic of mandarou's amazing Dishonor on Your Cow
**Update - I fixed an issue with Chapter 18 where the audio was all screwy, so if you downloaded that chapter, it's fixed now!
Series
- Part 1 of [Podfic] Dishonor
-
[Podfic] That is Not a Cow by wtfrenchtoast
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
17 Aug 2019
Tags
Summary
Steve crouched down again, slowly, so he was on the same level as Bucky. “You remember me?” he asked desperately.
Bucky looked down at the portal remote Steve still held, then narrowed his eyes when he met Steve’s. “You let some yahoo experiment on you again, didn’t you? Some mad scientist said, ‘hold my beer,’ and you pushed the button, right?”
Podfic of the sequel to mandarou's Dishonor on Your Cow
Series
- Part 2 of [Podfic] Dishonor
-
[Podfic] Goodbye Vintage RCA Remote by wtfrenchtoast
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
24 Aug 2019
Tags
Summary
So, you were visited by another you from another dimension. Walk it off.
Series
- Part 3 of [Podfic] Dishonor