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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Valla Dia stood in the center of the corridor, holding a needle-gun at waist height.

    "You are a prisoner, she-calot," she said. "My husband only thinks of the voluptuous white breasts of your mistress and how he longs to penetrate her with his sex organ. I will keep the body of Beth Cassel for my own use. You were foolish to . . . "

    I did not allow her to finish, drawing my own pistol and pressing the firing stud. I had retained my enhanced quickness despite my return to Barsoom. A tiny wound appeared on her upper left breast, directly over her heart, and blue blood welled out of it. She slumped against the wall and looked at the wound in disbelief.

    "I cannot believe," she whispered, "that you killed me."

    "I never liked you, Valla Dia," I said as I removed the pistol from her hand. "I will never allow any threat to Beth Cassel. And you should not have called me 'she-calot'."

    ---

    John Carter and Dejah Thoris of the Burroughs novels are mis-directed to the world of Game of Thrones, fulfilling two separate prophecies. Carter is a Confederate officer; his ideas might be considered unenlightened. Dejah is very good at killing people, but she feels bad about it.

    Updates every Saturday.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    847,067
    Chapters:
    159/?
    Comments:
    244
    Kudos:
    149
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    10003
  2. Tags
    Summary

    The only thing that Brienne Tarth knows for sure is that life is hard. Really, really, freaking hard. But then, one late night, her old, high school crush walks into her father’s diner.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,966
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    232
    Kudos:
    293
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    3060
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Ten years ago, Jaime Lannister was world famous as the lead singer of Westeros' favourite boyband Kingsguard and Brienne Tarth was his number one fan. However, after getting the chance to meet him, she soon discovers he is not the man his music led her to believe, and the two take a passionate disliking to each other, which they don't forget over the years.

    Fast forwards a decade, and Brienne herself gets chance at the limelight with Jaime as her manager, reopening old wounds. Can Brienne work with Jaime to write the next big hit? Or will she find her inspiration elsewhere?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,503
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    468
    Kudos:
    394
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    5833
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Bri is usually too polite to call anyone a bitch, but Cersei Lannister? That was the most polite possible way to describe her. Bri had no chance at getting through this encounter without crying, fainting, or both. No chance, and no choice.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,325
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    91
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Cersei Lannister, beautiful, quick-witted, and — above all — rich, has lived in the world with very little to distress or vex her. As the self-appointed mistress of her brother's estate, she knows exactly what is best of all the inhabitants of the small village of Casterly. She expects to happily live out her days as a Lannister, content with her charitable acts guiding her somewhat helpless twin, as neither are particularly interested in matrimony.

    Then Brienne Tarth arrives in Casterly and everything changes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    85,245
    Chapters:
    39/40
    Comments:
    792
    Kudos:
    329
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    12303
  6. Tags
    Summary

    At an archaeological dig in the ancient Harrenhal, a said cursed place, the first Female wo ever served in the Second Sons n Legion and the worlds clumsiest Libraria accidentally awakens sn old curse who begins to wreak havoc as she searches for the reincarnation of her long lost important person - the young wolf.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,350
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    131
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Brienne knocked again. Then she leaned on the bell.

    Inside, faintly and getting louder, “For the love of the fucking Seven.” Lannister threw the door open. He blinked, tipped his head up to meet Brienne’s eyes. He was in loose plaid pyjama bottoms, and was still tugging down a white t-shirt. His hair was mussed, his stubble a golden shadow against his tan skin, and he blinked again at her blearily under his frown. He somehow still looked good, damn him, and it only served to make her feel even more irritable.

    “Mr Lannister,” she said crisply, and she waited not a beat before shoving past him, right into his home uninvited. She hadn’t ever been so pushy, with a representative or otherwise, and it made her feel twitchy on top of everything else. But from their brief meeting, she suspected pushy was the only thing Lannister might respond to, so she’d steeled herself for it. She said over her shoulder, “We have four hours to prepare you.”

    “Ms — Tarth, is it?” Lannister said, snide, behind her. “Please. Do come in. Make yourself at home. In my home. It isn’t like I was sleeping. It’s just half fucking five in the morning. On a Saturday.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,942
    Chapters:
    8/18
    Comments:
    322
    Kudos:
    331
    Bookmarks:
    53
    Hits:
    6746
  8. Tags
    Summary

    In a slightly different Westeros, all Houses are summoned to the war against the Targaryen invasors. As her father's health decays, Brienne joins the war effort in his place, disguised as her brother, and gets trained by none other than the reputed Kingslayer. Will she be able to keep her secret?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,447
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    134
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    2915
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “Um, are you following me?” The pretty girl with flame red hair turns around and asks him.

    “No... are you stalking me?” He counters. This is the third aisle at the grocery he’s passed her in. “Why are you everywhere I’m going just a few seconds ahead of me?

    She narrows her eyes and assesses him suspiciously. Then she laughs! “You are funny!” She seams rather amused and smiles up brightly at him. Her blue eyes are sparking.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,997
    Chapters:
    29/30
    Comments:
    555
    Kudos:
    462
    Bookmarks:
    71
    Hits:
    16639
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Trust fund kid Jaime Lannister loves his movie star girlfriend Cersei, and, even though they don't have matching soulmarks, he wants to settle down and start a family. Cersei has other plans, however, as she doesn't want to ruin her Size Zero figure in case it jeopardises her chance at an Iron Throne Award, and demands Jaime find a surrogate.

    Enter Brienne Tarth, struggling PhD student who volunteers her womb for nine months in exchange for a lump sum that will alleviate her debts and help her care for her sick father.

    Both Jaime and Brienne think it will be nothing more than a simple transaction, based on his desire for a child and her need for hard cash.

    Unfortunately, they have matching soulmarks.

    Oops.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    197,751
    Chapters:
    58/63
    Comments:
    3147
    Kudos:
    1463
    Bookmarks:
    108
    Hits:
    52531
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Hyle Hunt thinks he's the luckiest freshman at King's Landing University when he gets Jaime Lannister for a roommate. There's bound to be tons of hot girls hanging around him, right?

    Right????

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,055
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    47
    Kudos:
    252
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    1336
  12. Tags
    Summary

    It was noble of Brienne to live without romance, like a knight from a song. But a woman like her should not have to choose between love and honor, or between two men she was so fond of.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    636
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    338
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Brienne Tarth has been stuck working backstage for almost her entire career. When Doran Martell offers her the chance of a lifetime, she's eager to seize the only chance she might get to achieve her dreams - even if it means she has to deal with an infamous co-star along the way.

    Jaime Lannister hasn’t set foot on the stage at all in the two years since he lost his hand. But he's been hoping to make a comeback for all that time, and the latest role to be sent his way might just be enough to not only bring him back to theatre, but to change his life forever.

    Amidst the glamour and glittering lights of the theatre district, two people embark on a journey that will shape their careers, their hearts, and their futures, both on the stage and off it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    157,333
    Chapters:
    21/?
    Comments:
    189
    Kudos:
    143
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    4859
  14. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,902
    Chapters:
    3/10
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    692
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Brienne Tarth has been working as a cuddle therapist for a year, and believes she really helps those who come seeking her particular brand of therapy.

    Yet when a new client, Jaime Lannister walks through her door, she can't seem to work him out.

    Or stop being attracted to him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,660
    Chapters:
    18/18
    Comments:
    1228
    Kudos:
    863
    Bookmarks:
    77
    Hits:
    17137
  16. Tags
    Summary

    "We don't serve Happy Meals here," Brienne supplied in her kindest customer service voice, "We are an Arby's."

     

     

     

    Brienne works at an Arby's. She has to train the newest crew member, Jaime Hill.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,124
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    123
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    622
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Brienne Tarth has wanted to become an actor for as long as she can remember. She is also very shy and doesn't like being around people. Her favourite professor, Catelyn Stark, gets her the opportunity to participate in an acting talent show, "Faces of Westeros"...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,595
    Chapters:
    7/18
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    879
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Years after his convalescence at Winterfell, Jaime returns to attend the Starks' late summer shooting party. He intends to ask Brienne an important question—until she asks him for a favor instead. 

    A Jaime POV companion story to The Shooting Party.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,151
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    336
    Kudos:
    422
    Bookmarks:
    60
    Hits:
    7133
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Hyle and Jaime are flatmates with occasional benefits (i.e. whenever Jaime has nothing better to do).

    Until he meets Brienne.

    (Utter crack. Now with DVD extras.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,819
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    122
    Kudos:
    120
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1664
  20. Tags
    Summary

    a collection of Tumblr fic memes and other small ficlets that'll never go anywhere

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,630
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    79
    Hits:
    1226

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