1 - 20 of 177 Works in Human Disaster Clint Barton

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Sergeant Pretty Eyes motioned towards the counter. “Is this your stuff?”

    “Oh. Yeah.” Clint wandered back to the counter to grab his keys, wallet, employee contract, and cell phone. He pocketed it all sheepishly.

    “Just make yourself at home, why don’t you?” Sergeant Barnes smirked. “Steve, civilians are wrecking the precinct.”

    “Sounds like a personal problem, Sergeant Barnes. And it’s Captain Rogers at work.”

    “That was rude, Cap,” Barnes said lightly. He turned back to Clint. “You can sit down again.”

     

    OR

     

    Clint needs to be fingerprinted for a job. Too bad he ends up going Full Barton at the police precinct in front of the world's hottest police sergeant.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,455
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    256
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    1042
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Steve Rogers finds the perfect place to work on his art- the new Starbucks around the corner. However, he finds himself dragging his best friend Clint back to the coffee shop over and over- and not just for his art.

    Or, when Steve and Clint do a whole latte flirting with the baristas.

    (Stucky and Clintasha are the main ships- this fic is heavily focused on both)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,326
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    139
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    2194
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Daredevil and Hawkeye meet on a stakeout.

    Well, okay, it's not really a stakeout anymore when there's fighting actively happening.

    And, well, it's not really fighting actively happening if they're both stuck in a big cargo crate, is it?

    (AKA: Matt and Clint are blithering idiots and need like 12 doctors apiece.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,253
    Chapters:
    9/10
    Comments:
    64
    Kudos:
    165
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1774
  4. Tags
    Summary

    On her first real field mission with SHIELD, the reader is paired up with the renowned Clint Barton last minute for a year long undercover mission. With anyone else the mission would be easy but from the first second that they meet the reader knows Clint will be a much harder deal. As the weeks pass, though, and they get to know each other more, the reader begins to wonder whether maybe being “married” to Clint isn’t such a bad job after all.

    Prepare for tropes galore; fake marriage, the slowest of burns, bad communication, bed sharing, you name it and it will probably be there. This story will run in “real time” for an entire year, following the characters as they navigate the messiness that is being married and eventually falling in love (featuring the inevitable angst and Clint Barton written hopefully as the true disaster he really is).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    85,129
    Chapters:
    40/60
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    69
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    995
  5. Tags
    Summary

    An early birthday gift for my awesome, awesome, friend ihaventsleptyetits4amoops, I really really hope you like it, and I cannot wait to see you again (it has been too damn long).

    Bucky and Natasha like strong-brew Russian coffee. But Clint, the resident caffeine addict, feels differently.
    AkA, no one should let Clint make decisions for himself before 10 a.m.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,101
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    45
  6. Tags
    Summary

    No rest for the wicked, evidently. Did it always have to be fucking mad scientists? Clint was feeling extremely stupid for getting captured in the first place, but of course his captors had to turn out to be some weird group of mad scientists who wanted to stick him with needles. No thanks. Half of New York, most world leaders, and the entire country of Croatia already wanted to stick him with knives and string him up. He would really, really rather that happen that these goons in their stupid scrubs do...whatever it was they were planning to ultimately. He actually didn’t know what they wanted with him in particular besides to enact their experiments. Considering they didn’t seem to know who he was. They thought he was just some random civilian they lifted off of the streets while he stumbled down the sidewalk last night, or was it a few nights ago? He was drugged most of it, or he might be able to tell. Little did they know this guy was Hawkeye, which meant an angry Cap, and an even angrier Hulk would kick their asses. Probably. Did the team even know he was missing yet? Oh, god.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,837
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    469
  7. Tags
    Summary

    “I also need to get one of those scooter things,” Bucky adds. “That’s gotta be better than these damn crutches.”

    Steve’s eyes drop down to the crutches again, and he frowns. “Crutches are never comfortable,” he agrees, shaking his head. “You want a piggyback ride?” He asks, grinning as he laughs at his own joke.

    Bucky ducks his head and laughs along, a good-natured smile settling over his lips. “Yeah, that would be real nice, wouldn’t it?” He says, not thinking anything of it.

    When he looks back up, however, Steve’s already in the process of shrugging his backpack off of his shoulders. The smile melts off of Bucky’s face and his brows furrow together. Was that… a serious offer?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,235
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    221
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    1267
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Pizza.
    It looks so freakin’ easy on the cooking shows.
    But here was Clint, surrounded by flour, eggs, and pepperoni slices scattering the floor and he has to wonder.
    Is pizza-making witchcraft of some sort?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,915
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    311
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “Why are you bleeding on my dog?”

    Bucky tried to keep his voice calm and non-threatening, just in case the battered and bruised man who was currently in his backyard wasn’t in the best mental state. Bucky found the chances of that likely; the guy was a wreck with one black eye and the other soon to follow suit, his t-shirt torn in multiple places and blood tinting his dirty blond hair a sickly orange-pink hue. If the stranger continued to stroke Lucky’s fur with his bleeding palm, they would soon match.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,375
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    200
    Kudos:
    640
    Bookmarks:
    77
    Hits:
    4376
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Written for the Mandatory FunDay thingy on Tumblr because I love Jarvis and I thought it would be cool to see something from his point of view. Hope you enjoy!

     

    St. Patrick's Day, through the many eyes of JARVIS.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,586
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    152
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    861
  11. Tags
    Summary

    The last time Clint had seen his teenage crush had been in Highschool. Seven years later he runs into Buckys best friend, Steve, in a hospital and falling from rooftops seems to have upsides after all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,199
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    90
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1564
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Tony loved his job running his own flower shop. He really did. But there were times it took its toll, like today. It was hard not to let the constant stream of happily-in-love customers remind him of what he didn’t have. Doubly so after the sting of being rejected, sight unseen.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,525
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    113
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1042
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Hair was such a simple way of showing affection. The brush of it on their way by, the nuzzling into it with their nose, the patting, the smelling, the ruffling.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,197
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    98
  14. Tags
    Summary

    It wasn't supposed to be like this. He bore these scars, denied who he was. He was of his own making, he did what he wanted. He ate pizza, shot arrows, and crawled through vents. Clint Barton was strong because he decided to be. He would outrun this secret.

    Or.

    That one time Phil found out Clint owned far too many throw pillows.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,063
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    58
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    553
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Clint's been dreading meeting his soulmate since he was old enough to read his words. Clint's also been bad at listening to safety warnings since about the same time. Now he's in another universe, everyone's part dog or something, and his huge hopeless crush on Bucky is maybe not so hopeless after all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,679
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    101
    Kudos:
    311
    Bookmarks:
    49
    Hits:
    2378
  16. Tags
    Summary

    “Katie-kate! I’s me, Hawguy! Clint Barton. Uh, well, I w’s jus’ callin’ to say hey. Katie, the sky's so weird, don' you thinkso? I'so pretty. Anyway, bye Katie-kate!—“
    She clicked on the next message, sent 2:54 AM.
    “Hey, um, this is Natasha Romanoff. I’m just calling because, uh, Clint probably should go home right about now. Like, really soon. So, if you could come get him that would be great. Thanks. He won’t stop drinking.”
    “End of final message.”
    Kate groaned. “C’mon, Lucky. We have to go rescue our resident idiot from himself.”
    The dog looked about as happy as she felt.

    When Clint Barton, archer extraordinaire, Avenger, hero, isn’t Avenging, his apprentice Kate Bishop is his best friend and go to. And sometimes they get on each other’s nerves.

    Or

    Five times Clint was a complete idiot and Kate had to deal with him, and one time the whole team did.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,972
    Chapters:
    1/6
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    464
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Steve huffs. He has no idea why James helped him, but he has his suspicions. The guy probably thinks Steve is totally lost, and he can’t help but to show he’s better. God, Steve really does hate him. James seems so confident, being 6’ and carrying himself like he’s got nothing to worry about. Steve can’t stand him, his dark, soft looking hair that curls all the way to his shoulders, his icy blue eyes and easy smiles.

    or

    enemies to lovers (sorta) university AU that no one asked for but I'm here to deliver anyway

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    57,370
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    71
    Kudos:
    251
    Bookmarks:
    50
    Hits:
    4194
  18. Tags
    Summary

    By habit, by rule, they work alone.

    Occasionally when the job calls for it, and when it’s a very, very good job, they break that rule. They broke it in Dubai, in Amsterdam, in Cape Town, in some other off-the-record places that Interpol and the Feds hadn’t been able to link any of them to yet. And they’re about to break it again, worse than they ever had before.

    Steve Rogers has an idea, a plan to bring together a group of remarkable people, to see if they could become, and do, something more. Natasha Romanova has some plans of her own. Bucky Barnes doesn’t know how Steve got him involved in this, much less why he’s still here, or what Natasha is up to, and most importantly yet, who the hell the new hot blonde mess of a human being who doesn’t seem to want to be there any more than he does is, but he wants to find out. Clint Barton wants very few things, simply to be left alone being at the top of his list. Or at least, he thinks it is. Maybe.

    As for the rest of the team, they’re already on board.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    99,247
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    322
    Kudos:
    341
    Bookmarks:
    73
    Hits:
    4457
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Стив изливает Клинту душу о чувствах к Тони.

    Series
    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    1,380
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    17
    Hits:
    247
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Clint is caught high and dry after the SHIELD data dump.

    Bucky is caught... in a starbucks?

    Together they fight crime make out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,908
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    85
    Kudos:
    361
    Bookmarks:
    53
    Hits:
    1973

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