1 - 20 of 773 Works in How I Met Your Mother

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Listing Works

  1. Tags
    Summary

    This is a Male x Male one shot request form for all TV Shows I will list and various movies, celebs, and select youtubers. More information on my guidelines and form of submitting inside.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    76,212
    Chapters:
    110/?
    Comments:
    225
    Kudos:
    161
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    24294
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Of the two, Barney is definitely the evil twin... but when Billy shows up asking for help, there's no other real option.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,922
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    61
  3. Tags
    Summary

    When Ted and Naomi breaks up, Robin is drunk and the name The Slutty Pumpkin starts to make sense.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    489
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    45
  4. Tags
    Summary

    What if the characters from BBC Sherlock, exactly as they are, were dropped into the universe of other shows, filling the roles occupied by other characters? I'll tell you what... hilarity. Or, stupidity. Yeah, I'm gonna go with stupidity.

    I've basically borrowed dialogue directly from other shows, and attributed it to the Sherlock characters. Let's be upfront- the majority of these are Sherlock characters delivering lines from The Big Bang Theory, because Sheldon and Leonard so perfectly fill the Holmes/Watson type.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,276
    Chapters:
    21/?
    Comments:
    66
    Kudos:
    57
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1034
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Expect no fiction, no story, no logic.

    This is no work. It's just a compilation of small things.

    I've been a roleplay writer for around ten years now and as such I have accounts on Tumblr and Twitter and I also own a roleplay forum on proboards. This serves the only purpose of listing all of my current muses and providing several samples of my writing as them.

    So pretty much you'll be reading stuff such as starters or replies that I've wrote to some of my writing partners.

    At the begging of each 'chapter' I'll be providing a little bit of context to the scenario revolving around that sample.

    At any moment if you wish to have more information about where those threads are playing themselves out, please contact me and I'll gladly provide you the link so you can read the whole thing between me and said writing partners as most of these works are usually public.

    And in case you're wondering, Malachai Hemet is my writer alias as Hemet is my writer tag.

    Happy readings!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,019
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    112
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Okay, so it's exactly what it says in the tags. Barney proposes to Ted while I ugly cry behind my screen.

    "“of course – ah, yeah, that’s, that’s good – of course it’s something you said – ah! – you asked me to marry you, so yes, I’m fucking crying!”
    His eyes are burning with tears and he is reduced to a soft, sobbing mess, but Barney reaches his hand between them and uses the pad of his fingertip to wipe away his tears, and the ones that escape he captures with his kisses. He moans and whines and gasps a string of filth into Ted’s mouth, carves love letters on his skin that seep through it and into the marrow of his bones. Ted cries out and he can’t help bucking his hips against Barney, all the while clinging to his fiancé (fiancé) for dear life, not letting go, never letting go.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,934
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    274
  7. Tags
    Summary

    AU: Ted runs off with Robin on the day of her wedding. Barney is left to pick up the pieces. (Also on FF.net)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    702
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    142
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Barney is overwhelmed by his divorce, and after a heart to heart with Lily, he knows he wants to be with Robin again. (Also on FF.net)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,510
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    90
  9. Tags
    Summary

    It's not until the fifth suggested Star Wars-inspired dog name that Tracy cottons onto the fact that Thea might be a little bit obsessed.

    Tracy McConnell, Theodora Mosby and the Star Wars series throughout the years. It's a match that's sure to be legen — wait for it — dary.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,693
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    45
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Set during/after "How I Met Everyone Else" (S03E05). Ted goes home with the strange man he met at the urinal.

    "“Fuck, Barney” Ted grinds out through his teeth as he bucks his hips forward, pushing himself forcefully against that wiry, inappropriate, gorgeous creature that is clutching at him, hanging onto him so tightly, like a... like a... Damn, metaphors are hard, all of a sudden. Fancy words and purple prose have always been Ted’s forte, spinning vivid tales of love and fate and destiny, but now, at this moment, he comes up short and then realizes that maybe things don’t always have to compare to something rhapsodic. And just like that Barney licks and bites his way into Ted’s mouth and Ted thinks that oh, they definitely don’t. There is nothing like this."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,162
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    474
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Maria Hill, director of the UN Sokovian Homeland Integration and Emigration Legal Department, has had enough. Between the Avengers' dubious legal status, the forthcoming Accords negotiations, and Thor dropping in with the news of yet another incoming alien threat — never mind her voicemails, it's no wonder she's considering faking her death to get away from it all.

    "Hill, this is Secretary Ross. I know you’re not dead. And you know I know you’re not dead. And I know you know I know you’re not dead. I’ll hold a séance if I have to, but I need a consult. You can call me back any day now. I’m sure there’s cell service in hell."

    (pre CA:CW, canon-adjacent from Thor 3 on)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,538
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    165
  12. Tags
    Summary

    “I just want to say sorry.”

    “Why don’t you leave a message?”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    748
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    50
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Set in 2020, starts at Ted's wedding.
    Goes off cannon from there.
    Barney/Robin centred; how they cope with being around each other after no contact for so long. How Robin reacts to Ellie.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,152
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1823
  14. Tags
    Summary

    This is purely self-indulgent fluff. A long piece of sexy fluff with a lot of "other stuff" because I always end up exploring their relationship instead of staying on track. That's what happens when you don't plan a story before hand. Bear with me!

    Ted makes a surprise discovery about himself and Barney is completely cool with helping him explore it. There is also salmon and love involved. Mostly the latter.

    "The first time Barney calls Ted by his full name, Ted pops a boner. At that time it’s highly inconvenient, because he is at work and sporting an erection is not really proper office attire. They have been talking on the phone, Ted sitting by his desk and Barney cruising through the aisles of a grocery store, shopping for their dinner, when Barney asks, sounding slightly distracted, “So hey, Theodore, I’m feeling salmon. What’d you think?”
    Ted is about to reply that he could be feeling salmon, too, but then what Barney said registers in his mind, one particular word resonating like a bell ringing, echoing and heart-achingly sweet, and something shifts.
    He sucks in a stuttering breath through his teeth, feeling heat rushing to his face. "

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,986
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    838
  15. Tags
    Summary

    It's their first Christmas together as a married couple and Barney wants to make this Christmas a special one for Robin so he does. Some surprises are just as shocking as Barney making breakfast for them. 2013 and beyond, Barney & Robin's lives are about to change in the most unexpected of ways.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,112
    Chapters:
    24/?
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    228
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Potter is the dratted spawn of the Potion Master's Hogwarts nemesis, James Tiberius Kirk - oops, wrong fandom, James-archetype Gryffindor-Potter. Watch what happens when Snape's new nemesis fails to do his assigned summer reading and is held after class by his vengeful Potions Professor, Severus Snape. Snape soon realizes, to his utter horror, that he, Potions Master par excellence ain't the only ginormously-powered half-blood wizard Dumbledore has mistreated by leaving him in the hands of malicious Muggles. A whole lotta words that pretell the payback that three half-blood wizards rain down upon one purebred megalomaniac. And there are Veelacorns a-comin', 'cause they're a thing/are things - subject-verb agreement, who am I, the grammar police? Oh, and there is a lotta Inner Monologue, just because. Veelacorns are cute, and no, I don't abuse substances of any kind, this is just the way my brain is wired. Enjoy!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,831
    Chapters:
    22/22
    Comments:
    80
    Kudos:
    144
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    8394
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Ever since Ted had realized that his old feelings for Robin were coming back with a vengeance, he had gone out of his way to avoid Barney altogether; but when a sudden tragedy strikes, it forces him out of Robin's bed and into Barney's arms.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    77,321
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    105
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1492
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Small changes can cause big ripples, starting on the night Robin first walks into MacLaren's. Barney/Robin focused AU based upon the butterfly effect.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    197,923
    Chapters:
    56/?
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    221
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    5394
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Robin, decides to get Barney back for throwing her the rehearsal dinner before their wedding. A little AU and fun lighthearted one shot, the story dates is 2013-2018 the years after their wedding.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,422
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    158
  20. Tags
    Summary

    When Ted meets Tracy, he realizes for the first time that love can be easy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,784
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    150

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