1 - 20 of 87 Works in Hell is Terrible (Good Omens)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    A series of Hard Times style cold opens ficlets of Crowley and Aziraphale through the ages.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,246
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    152
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley gets caught in the act of saving Aziraphale during the blitz. In the heat of the moment Aziraphale improvises, which saves Crowley, but bears unforeseen consequences for himself. Crowley has no choice but to take formal ownership over the angel in hell. Awkwardness ensues. Meanwhile, Hastur finds himself deviating a bit from his original plan to get revenge on Crowley, but plans can change and so can a demon's imagination. For better or worse.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,793
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    302
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Whenever Aziraphale missteps, Gabriel’s abusive punishments escalate. Aziraphale relies on Crowley for comfort, but eventually realizes that Crowley is being abused in Hell and needs help too. Aziraphale and Crowley learn to trust each other, to lend a hand when needed, and later to heal together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,685
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    262
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Even if the plan to avert Armageddon works, Crowley knows he will face Hell’s wrath. He’s sad, scared, and doesn’t want his time with Aziraphale to come to an end. When he breaks down crying, Aziraphale comforts him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,705
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    243
  5. Tags
    Summary

    It has been 270 years since Sirens were cursed to live under the sea and tensions have only been rising like steam from a boiling pot.

    Crowley, a Siren in his late two hundreds, has felt out of place his entire life and wonders where he is meant to be. He figures he'll never find that answer until one day he meets a human, the prince Aziraphale. He'll do anything to stay with him, even make a deal with the notorious Sea Witch, Lucifer. Will he be able to keep his end of the deal or will Lucifer claim his life? Will he be able to stay with the man he loves or will he live the rest of his life under the sea?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,402
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1093
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Lucifer’s wrath is a terrible thing. Crawley becomes a target of that wrath when he gives the wrong answer to a simple question: “Don’t you trust me?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,603
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    17
    Hits:
    110
  7. Tags
    Summary

    It’s report month in Hell.

    It…was…report month in Hell.

    Oops.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    419
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    163
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Hell does not believe in sick days. Crowley always does his job no matter how bad he feels, but this time, he’s too ill to lift his head. Aziraphale comes to his rescue.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,112
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    80
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    441
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Hell keeps micromanaging Crowley’s job as the Black Knight, and he’s completely fed up with it. After being forced to participate in an actual battle, Crowley once again tries to tempt Aziraphale into abandoning their assignments and going home. Aziraphale has a counter offer—what would happen if he told the Archangels that Crowley is trying to corrupt him?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,470
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    151
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley waited for him to show up, then. He was ready for talk now, and was ready to say the words. We forgive you, we did even before this, we are so sorry for this and you don’t deserved it. They waited, and waited.

    And nothing happened.

    When he didn’t show up, they both needed to know what was happening.

    Why God would allow this to happen? It didn't matter, Crowley will stop it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,116
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    175
  11. Tags
    Summary

    After several weeks of pointless temptation assignments, Crowley is collapsing into despair. He’s tired, frustrated, and increasingly self-destructive. But there is one good thing in his life—Aziraphale, who once again offers him shelter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,835
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    79
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    436
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Not long after the church bombing, Crowley shows up on Aziraphale’s doorstep. He’s disoriented, on the verge of collapse, clearly in shock. Aziraphale isn't sure what happened, but he's determined to help. Can he?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,486
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    182
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1691
  13. Tags
    Summary

    When Crowley's elaborate schemes go over his bosses' heads, he concocts a new, simpler way to tempt humans.

    (Or: How Crowley invented the stock market then started gluing coins to the sidewalk)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    693
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    143
  14. Tags
    Summary

    “So, what are you in for?” asked Eric.

    The gargoyle sighed, his round body deflating like a basketball. “For being conveniently ball-shaped and easy to throw around.”

    “Ah.” Eric regretted the mental basketball comparison.

    “What about you?”

    Eric shrugged, clicking the pen. “The usual. Being disposable.”

    The gargoyle nodded grimly. Eric was struck with the unfamiliar feeling of being understood by someone who wasn’t a clone of themself. “I’m Eric, by the way,” they said. “But you can call me ‘Fun Eric.’”

    The gargoyle demon didn’t look particularly amused, but he nodded his squat head. “You can call me Usher.”

    (There’s a lot of time to talk while filling out paperwork in hell’s recorporation department. Both Eric and Usher end up there a lot.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,529
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    57
    Kudos:
    80
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    303
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Life is relatively peaceful following the events of Armageddon’t, but things don’t remain peaceful for long. Fearing Aziraphale’s apparent resistance to hellfire, Heaven gives him an ultimatum; either cut ties with Earth (and Crowley) and return to Heaven as a warrior or be permanently cast out. As hard decisions are made and even harder truths come to light, can the two beings who saved the world stop their own personal Armageddon, or is this the end of life as they know it?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,601
    Chapters:
    1/8
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    94
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Downland was full of nothing good: thieves, murderers, and those generally of poor character.

    Upland was full of everything good: obedient, upstanding citizens, their character shimmeringly intact.

    They had nothing at all in common. Clearly.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,989
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    192
  17. Tags
    Summary

    As a rule, Crowley hated the feeling of smallness. For one thing, it was dangerous. It made you vulnerable. When other people were bigger than you, they were quite probably stronger too, and being the weaker party around was never a good plan if you wanted to survive in as low-pain a way as possible.

    Yet, somehow — after the first days — he never felt unsafe around the dragons. Never threatened, or intimidated, or diminished.

    ~ ~ ~

    OR: Dragons are very, very large. And friendship and safety are very, very wonderful things.

    (Inspired by Touchstone, by fractalgeometry!)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    500
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    273
  18. Tags
    Summary

    After a trip to Hell turns bad (well, more bad than usual), Crowley struggles to return to his normal life. He’s on edge, irritable, and spiraling out of control. Can Aziraphale help him find a little stability?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,191
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    115
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    665
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Heaven and Hell are both strict, unyielding places that don't tolerate mistakes. After bad performance reviews, Crowley and Aziraphale commiserate over drinks. They both really need a hug, but physical contact is always risky. Unless, of course, they can find a way to hug "accidentally".

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,193
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    79
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    301
  20. Tags
    Summary

    A certain Principality Falls. Azirafell rises.

    Part of a series. Technically a prequel to "Bury Me In My Sins." Can probably be read as a standalone, but reading the rest of the series will be best.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,521
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    33
    Hits:
    384

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