1 - 20 of 281 Works in Harry Potter is a Little Shit

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    The Master of Death is not to live and not to die. He is bound to fate forever, to fight and fight and fight. Living for eternity, to be a soldier in one way or the next. Sent to worlds so that he can right the balance. Not too much death, not too much life. To kill and to save.
    Harry Potter sits on a train bench in a place that does not exist and a time that has gone by, and contemplates his life. He thinks of his job, and realizes that his life is simply put, unfair. He should get a refund, or should lodge a complaint with the higher powers. At the very least, he deserves a vacation.
    Or, how Harry Potter gets to relive his life with express purpose of does whatever the hell he wants, because after everything he's done he deserves a break, and if that means causing as much chaos as possible, then so be it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,347
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    125
    Bookmarks:
    47
    Hits:
    1851
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Harry James Potter makes choices. They determined his husband and his new father/guardian. This was not what anyone was expecting at all. MiM help them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64,016
    Chapters:
    38/?
    Comments:
    243
    Kudos:
    267
    Bookmarks:
    76
    Hits:
    6488
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Harry has just finished his 1st year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry after being sorted into Slytherin. He expects to have the best summer of his life, but he loses hope when his friends don't seem to be responding to his letters.

    When he returns to Hogwarts he comes to learn that a new evil now walks the halls of the school. The Chamber of Secrets is opened and the heir of Slytherin is in Hogwarts.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,904
    Chapters:
    6/19
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    61
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1684
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Daisy is caught between Fred and Kylie, and other classmates are still being thrown into the mix. Kylie Ford of the Weird Sisters is starting in Daisy's year, and our protagonist is definitely excited about that! Also, even though what she tells them is true, the Ministry still won't accept that Voldemort is back.

    A new teacher called Umbridge has been stationed at Hogwarts, and Daisy is going to bring her down! It is Fred and George's last year, and she is going to make it count. She and her twin start up an illegal defence group called Dumbledore's Army and when the Weasley twins leave Hogwarts, Daisy goes with them.

    Then, when she and Harry get a vision, they go to the Ministry to 'save' Sirius. And on top of all that, Daisy has to deal with her growing angel powers and confronting her dad ... her real, angel dad... who could that be? Read to find out!

     

    Book songs - Army (Ellie Goulding) and Closer (Tegan & Sara)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,575
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    114
  5. Tags
    Summary

    How do you catch a criminal that can travel through dimensions?

    You send someone after him, of course. And Robards knew the just the Aurors for the job.

    Or, he did. Until all three of them became inexplicably incapacitated at the last minute. Now his best bet are three war veterans fresh out of training.

    But there’s more to this mission than what meets the eye, and the most treacherous world out there might just be their very own.

     

    Starring a MOD Harry Potter who's as unkillable as ever, Neville "Robards-you-bastard-why-won't-you-let-me-quit-already" Longbottom and Ronald Weasley's left leg ("Did you splinch yourself again?" "I was on fire, I'd like to see you do better!")

    (Also featuring Hermione Granger, aka the only reason the ministry isn’t in shambles, and Draco Malfoy, who is still adjusting to life with a moral compass because why the fuck does being a good person take this much effort.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,809
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    68
  6. Tags
    Summary

    If you were given the option to write yourself into a story to fix everything wouldn't you? Maybe Possessing an unwilling and unaware Petunia Dursley on her son's eleventh birthday is slightly immoral. It's also entirely possible that forcing Dumbledore to hire her as the new Muggle Studies teacher and make the subject compulsory is extremely unethical. Harry doesn't seem to mind though so we'll call it a win.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,671
    Chapters:
    15/17
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    105
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    1976
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Rosa Potter was never very good at following her aunt's commands. If there was ever a time she did however, it was when the woman told her to get out of the house and stay far away until the sun set on Privet Drive. In truth, Rosa liked it when she was told to leave. She loved how she was given the ability to adventure away from the pristine streets and out into the forest behind the house, escaping from the stifling life that she so despised.

    Rosa should have known that if she wished hard enough to escape, someone would eventually come along to take her away.

    Or perhaps she did know, and simply wanted to be taken.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    202,253
    Chapters:
    24/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    570
    Kudos:
    1337
    Bookmarks:
    455
    Hits:
    47436
  8. Tags
    Summary

    When Healer Draco Malfoy sees an opening for a Healer in Romania, he's struck with the urge to leave St. Mungo's so they know exactly how much he does for them. Serves them right, the way they treat him.

    Nevermind that Harry Potter is in Romania, big and buff and sexier than ever. Nevermind that he's a Dragon Tamer. Nevermind that Dragon Taming is a dangerous profession and would require Draco to heal Potter often...

    Or

    Draco moves to Romania specifically to be boned by Beefcake Harry Potter and all his friends know it.

    [UPDATES FRIDAYS]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,090
    Chapters:
    5/15
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    159
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    2384
  9. Tags
    Summary

    A deaf Harry Harry Potter/Marvel fic where Tony is Harry's uncle

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,727
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    104
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    1742
  10. Tags
    Summary

    In which Harry Potter is Natasha Romanoff, and talks to a voice in her head named Tom as she tries to survive life.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,004
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    127
    Bookmarks:
    37
    Hits:
    2397
  11. Tags
    Summary

    In a world where some people wield magic, quirks shouldn't be too surprising. And yet, magic and quirks don't usually mix. Unless your name is Harry Potter. Then Fate has it out for you and Murphy's law is real. But there is a light in the future. There is a world beyond the castle of Hogwarts and maybe it's time to explore?

    In Japan, quirks and magic can coexist. There is hope for the young man. His wild desire to save others might be a way to go. After all, heroes aren't born. They are made. And the best are made in UA High.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,264
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    204
    Bookmarks:
    62
    Hits:
    3170
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Potter, the forgotten twin brother of 'Boy-Who-Lived', beaten to death by his abusive Muggle relatives. But his Magic disagreed to die so early, so it dug deep into his soul and blood and brings out something that will help him survive and live. But the question is.. who will take him from his destined cruel Fate?

    Tom Marvolo Riddle, AKA Lord Voldemort has fallen into deepest of voids because of his addiction to Dark Arts. So when his Prophesied 'Equal' and mortal enemy, who also happens to be keeper of his soul piece, comes to his aid and offer him another chance by helping him recover from the insanity thus filling out the void that has been created by cruel and merciless fate, what he will do? Can he refuse the little green-eyed chaos maker who declared himself as his 'son in everything but blood'?

    PS : All characters belong to author JK Rowling.
    Tags may change as the story progresses.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    136,295
    Chapters:
    29/?
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    825
    Kudos:
    2996
    Bookmarks:
    744
    Hits:
    82266
  13. Tags
    Summary

    White flecks fell gracefully around him, the wind picking them up and carrying them as lightweights, watching one float down and then quickly melt into crimson, the deepest shades of red that complimented his skin idly. The snowflakes fell into the blood shamelessly, not a care for the color they were drowning in, or the taint of the liquid that did nothing to alter its own state of solidity against the ground.

    Sad eyes sighed in defeat and annoyance, sitting up and craning his shin that was badly bruised to the point of his flesh splotched in yellows, greens, blues, and blacks. Disgusting. He pulled himself up, the cold numbing any pain he should’ve felt, but at this point, would he really have felt any?

    If he was a normal Wizard, would he have been treated like this so brazenly? As if suddenly, his life mattered if he his parents had overlooked what he was, who he was, why he was what he was? No, they still would’ve thrown him away.

    Everyone threw him away at some point.
    .~~.
    Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to Hogwarts 1939, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,812
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    375
    Bookmarks:
    114
    Hits:
    10823
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Draco Malfoy left the wizarding world to find his own place. He knew he had to go elsewhere and make a new name for himself. Cut to several years later, he is a mildly successful violinist in muggle London. Little does he know, somebody he's very familiar with has just moved in upstairs. Draco is met with the colliding of his two worlds, the one he left and the one he found. With the fifth anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts approaching, and an important recital, Draco has to juggle a new range of emotions he isn't equipped to deal with. When a familiar stranger knocks on his door, he's met with more than he thinks he can handle. Good thing Harry isn't too intent on letting Draco get away again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,936
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    265
  15. Tags
    Summary

    On the run after an incident Hemlock Potter only thinks of as Ward 13, she ends up in a little place called Musutafu trying desperately to keep her head down, out of trouble, doing what little she could where she can. It wasn't much of a life, but it was something, and perhaps more than she deserved. Then she finds a man dying in an alleyway, and helps the only way she knew how, and kicks of a storm of unprecedented proportions.

    Or:

    The one where Hemlock Potter has an overpowered Quirk that brings all the Villains to the yard. That's it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,692
    Chapters:
    4/40
    Comments:
    72
    Kudos:
    534
    Bookmarks:
    240
    Hits:
    5317
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Harry overhears a man ranting about child soldiers in a bar and gets attached. Shouta gets to brag about his children (students) and gets curious. And maybe a bit possessive.

    There's also a foiled kidnapping, over-protective police officers, out of the loop pro-heroes, shovel-talk toting students, bouts of extreme competency, and the occasional occurrence of feelings.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,181
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    11
    Comments:
    445
    Kudos:
    2014
    Bookmarks:
    726
    Hits:
    18352
  17. Tags
    Summary

    It's been four years since the Battle Of Hogwarts, and three years since Draco Malfoy went missing. One night Malfoy shows up on Harry Potters doorstep, broken and hurt. The Chosen Ones hero complex kicks in, and they're thrown into the middle of a war; All the while falling for the other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,396
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    295
  18. Tags
    Summary

    When his parents' business went bankrupt, and his family collapsed, Draco was forced to see with his own eyes how one by one his loved ones left him. Alone in this world, Draco realizes that the destroyer of his family's life, the indirect killer of his parents, is Harry Potter, a cold-blooded man, a business leader who has the spare time to destroy and control the small businesses he is looking for, including Draco's company. Their family life was actually much more peaceful and happier before Harry Potter stepped in and ruined everything.

    Draco hated this world, especially that man. If there was one thing he wanted to do, it was to destroy Harry Potter with his own hands.

     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    This is not your usual ordinary sweet story. This is a twisted story with shadow lurking from the corner because a love story isn't always beautiful.

     

    =WARNING=
    This story might be implying something called "Stockholm Syndrome"
    Dark!Harry; Innocent!Draco

    Draco is SHORT than Harry in this universe.

     

    [DO NOT REPOST OR TRANSLATE]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,275
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    212
    Kudos:
    567
    Bookmarks:
    96
    Hits:
    14821
  19. Tags
    Summary

    After the Battle of Hogwarts Harry feels off. He doesn't know what to do, but starting with burying the Dark Lord seems like a good idea.

    This is going to be a MoD!Harry goes back in time to relive his life, and also *gasps* they were soulmates. I suck at summaries.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,435
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    183
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    1744
  20. Tags
    Summary

    What it says on the tin. Drabbles devoted to top Harry.

    Most chapters will contain sex.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    226,947
    Chapters:
    91/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1151
    Kudos:
    5383
    Bookmarks:
    657
    Hits:
    262102

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