1 - 20 of 52 Works in Handsome Jack (Borderlands) Being an Asshole

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Before she could turn around a warm breath crossed over her ears and she felt her body tense up, she felt hands on her hips for a moment as a whisper was spoken into her ear “Ya look so fucking hot in this outfit, if it wasn’t so crowded I’d fuck ya right where ya stand, right here, right now.”

    Rhys choked on her drink and brought a hand over her mouth trying to regain any composure, She had a bright pink flush rise up her neck and cheeks, the voice began again and planted a soft kiss behind her ear “Unless you’re into that- ya want all your co-workers here to see ya panting, dripping mess? Cause I can make that happen.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,860
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    268
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Rhys found Jack had been right. The road to hell was, in fact, paved with good intentions. Only upon arrival did Rhys realize that there was nothing to escape from, and nothing to escape to. That hell was himself.

    Hell, however, didn’t have to be empty, not when he could bring back the devil himself.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,765
    Chapters:
    6/20
    Comments:
    94
    Kudos:
    162
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    1201
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Word spreads like wild fire in Helios.
    If it's anything interesting, people talk.
    While the infamous Handsome Jack enjoys picking off his employees,
    feeding them to his air-lock, an disgruntled worker mumbles a few words. Rumours.
    His ego growing, a sickening grin splayed, he amuses himself at the thought.
    Maybe he'll pay a visit to this boy who claims to know him, used to be his...
    previous lover.

    -

    Or:
    After a hideous breakup with Jack, Rhys finds himself writing his feelings. Ultimately
    becoming an up and coming artist going by the alias of "Pumpkin".
    His songs aren't quite discreet, suggesting Jack is the man he sings about, along with his signature opening, which entails him taking off a replica Jack mask from his face.
    And if you think the psychotic man himself doesn't know everything, you're dead wrong.
    Everything circles back to him, and he doesn't quite enjoy loose ends.
    Especially personal ones'.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,965
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    66
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Rhys is Handsome Jack’s personal assistant.
    Rhys does his best to put up with a homicidal maniac and Jack tolerates his outspoken assistant.

    Or, “Rhys gets dragged into a whole mess of Crimson Raiders, office meetings, shootouts and Handsome Jack”
    [A massive WIP and big slowburn. Like...really...really...long slowburn. They're just a couple of idiots for 100k words till they get together]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    95,781
    Chapters:
    24/37
    Comments:
    173
    Kudos:
    316
    Bookmarks:
    49
    Hits:
    3800
  5. Tags
    Summary

    We all know the story: Rhys is a data-miner, almost makes Head of Security, but gets booted to Janitorial thanks to his asshole rival. So, what if Rhys never found out about the deal on Pandora? Would he just stay; twiddling his thumbs, hoping a Hero will save him from his new state of total boredom; instead of just hacking into Hyperion's systems and sending Assquez on a one way trip to Promethea? Of course he would. Because of one teenie, tiny little change made to Canon.

    Handsome Jack Wins.

    Oh. And Rhys might be completely obsessed with him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,477
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    78
    Kudos:
    162
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    2181
  6. Tags
    Summary

    A name was given to him, Sweet Rhys. And he was the sweetest there could ever be.
    Here he was God, here he was everything, and the Shadow in his mind hissed at all who dared defy.
    Nothing would stand in his way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,050
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    121
  7. Tags
    Summary

    It's Halloween night and Rhys' friends dare him to summon a demon as a joke. Turns out, demons are real and the one Rhys summoned was an incubus named Handsome Jack.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,819
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    86
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1034
  8. Tags
    Summary

    You got shipped off from Promethea on behalf of Rhys for a cool gig alongside the best Vault Hunters ever: The Crimson Raiders. But, things start going south as soon as the voice of a long dead tyrant takes over your systems and you find yourself becoming someone else.....

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,455
    Chapters:
    7/10
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    268
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “The message came from THE FUTURE. Of course, that’s gotta be bullshit, right? Because why and how and no fucking chance. But after three weeks of coffee-fueled benders and only the occasional break to masturbate while eating a bagel in the shower, I can definitively tell ya… It ain’t not from the future, Kitten.”

    Jack paces as he talks, gesturing broadly with his hands. His voice echoes off the high ceiling, lending a hallowed-sort of timber to his words. “Can’t tell if that look you’re givin’ me is skeptical or shit-terrified, Kiddo. Who am I kidding? You’re right either way!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,928
    Chapters:
    7/26
    Comments:
    154
    Kudos:
    177
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    1546
  10. Tags
    Summary

    You're a siren and a vault hunter. Two things Handsome Jack hates. Not only that, but you reside on Pandora and often help out the Crimson Raiders when they are in need of an extra pair of hands. Lilith asks for your help to infiltrate the bunker, but when it comes to killing Jack's daughter Angel, you refuse. This makes you vulnerable when Jack makes a surprise entrance. Maybe you're the exception, the one decent vault hunter that could help him open the vault... or maybe you're just like everyone else...

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,350
    Chapters:
    3/8
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    55
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    597
  11. Tags
    Summary

    the title says it all kiddos. rhys has a voice kink and jack has a hot voice

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    816
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    57
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    671
  12. Tags
    Summary

    re·fu·gi·um
    /rəˈfyo͞ojēəm/
    noun
    an area in which a population of organisms can survive through a period of unfavorable conditions

    When your means of nourishment came from devouring such emotions, you weren't going to gloss over anything. Jack picked up on it all, and his confidence in Rhys’s unknowing ability to provide for him hadn’t been proven wrong so far.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,154
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    5
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Certain girls on Helios sell themselves to earn that little bit of extra cash, and you happen to be one of them. The Helios Girls are technically illegal on the base, so when you get called to Handsome Jack's office? You knew you were in trouble... or not.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,692
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    676
  14. Tags
    Summary

    A bit of a skeptic for idol worship, the last place you expected to find peace of mind was at the center of Hyperion.

    At least, it was better than feeling imprisoned on a coveted beach planet, confined to your homelife and the goals set out for you.

    As an aspiring novelist, your thirst for something more seemed to push you in the direction of new opportunities, and not in any sense the safest kind.

    Before you knew it your dirty shoes had fallen upon marble flooring, and your eyes and ears played witness to what few would call the greatest tragedies of the age.

    (AKA, that one fic where I spout backstory and insert the reader into the past lives of Rhys and his unfortunate associates.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,622
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    105
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1014
  15. Tags
    Summary

    A/B/O Digestivo AU.

    AU where Will was pregnant after Hannibal turned himself in and he found out in prison.

    What would he do then?

    If Will had not pulled that knife. If they had got together to appropriately and properly earn Will’s O face in the previous episode. If Hannibal was so potent, and Will so fertile that he got it in one.

    (Shotgun Marriages have a whole new meaning with Hannibal as we all know. That lovesick fool...)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,808
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    107
    Kudos:
    579
    Bookmarks:
    161
    Hits:
    9688
  16. Tags
    Summary

    When his boss, Handsome Jack, CEO of Hyperion, top of the top man in probably all the galaxies that they were aware of, had asked him to come with to a business meeting. He didn’t think it would mean sitting beside the man as he sucked face with some unknown woman from Maliwan.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,540
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    101
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    723
  17. Tags
    Summary

    How could the world suddenly fall from his grasp, just as Handsome Jack had unlocked the key to his ultimate success?

    What role did Rhys play, in the rise and fall of the man he worshipped above all others?

    How will Jack cope, when he realises the depth of his true feelings; too late?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,563
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    57
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    526
  18. Tags
    Summary

    In five years since Jack's arise as the new master vampire, he had sent the Templars scattering to the wind, had enslaved half of humanity, and had all the wealth and comfort he could ever want. Beautiful thralls attending to his every need, going out and procuring blood for him to drink from their veins, stealing or creating the most exotic and fashionable outfits, building him castles that rivaled those of the greediest kings and queens in history, in both size and lavish decorations.
    And Jack was bored.

    Rhys is just a thrall, but he's a thrall that has somehow retained his personality after the transformation process, and when Jack comes to visit the small castle that Rhys is stationed at, he finds that he's very quickly gotten the full attention of his master. He's not sure that he likes that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,837
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    165
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    1452
  19. Tags
    Summary

    “Do you know why I called you up here, Reese?”

    Rhys wanted to correct him on his name but he knew it wouldn’t matter after he gone, on his grave would be ‘Reese, the bitch’. “No, Handsome Jack Sir”

    ((I have a idea ,hang with me

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,861
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    68
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    946
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Forgiveness isn't something that comes very easy for Finch. Of course, who would become an assassin if they could forgive at the snap of their fingers? With a past that has seemingly slipped through their fingers, all that remains is a seething hatred for Handsome Jack. They're unsure why, but they know that before they lost crucial memories, they were on a mission to kill the Hyperion celebrity. And that's all they needed to know their next step in life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,249
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    22

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