1 - 20 of 158 Works in Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia is Bad at Communicating

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    Summary

    For centuries, the village at the foot of the Rivia mountains has sacrificed a young virgin every five years to the demon that lives up there. These young girls are given to keep the peace and make certain that the demon won't come down to slaughter the livestock and the villagers. However, this year there is no pretty girl of the right age and beauty who is a virgin too. So the fates choose and befall Jaskier to be the sacrifice and satisfy the demon's hunger.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    125,407
    Chapters:
    40/45
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    845
    Kudos:
    2548
    Bookmarks:
    454
    Hits:
    66958
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Separated from his mother at a young age, Lambert has always dreamed of making himself great to find her again. He gets his chance when he finds a strange puzzle that might lead to the treasure of the greatest pirate ever.

    He’ll have to contend with unfriendly crew members, his estranged older brother, and the charming but odd cook who runs the ship’s galley along the way. He’s hoping for treasure, but he might just find something more along the way. And hopefully the treasure too.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,593
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    289
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier told himself it was the suffering that made his music better and he would say as much to anyone he met.

    The miles he had trekked to this new place were a reminder of the long road to success, the lack of interest from the crowd showed their inability to appreciate talent when they heard it and frankly the mugging at the end of the night would be a good song one day.

    At least, that’s what Jaskier told himself as he was punched in the face for the second time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,252
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    64
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    946
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Slowly but surely, everyone is getting used to having the Cats around. They have to, for Ciri's sake. More accurately, Geralt is getting used to Ciri being here, after all this time, and all of the ways she's changed.

    Of course, just because she's a Cat, doesn't mean the Wolves taught her nothing.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,785
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    72
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    381
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier never plays his music around Geralt.
    Eskel wonders why and decides to help solve the problem.
    Turns out Geralt and Jaskier are both idiots, who would've thought?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,836
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    314
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    2048
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt and Jaskier encounter an unfamiliar creature who decides to help Geralt learn an important lesson. Why this results in Jaskier getting shrunk until he is only six inches tall, no one seems to have any idea. Can Geralt, along with his brothers-in-arms, Child Surprise, and two powerful sorceress friends fix it? Gods only know, but it'll be funny and tragic along the way to finding out.

    Note: Title is a reference to the quote: "Come live in my heart, and pay no rent." - Samuel Lover

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,233
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    87
    Kudos:
    383
    Bookmarks:
    62
    Hits:
    6750
  7. Tags
    Summary

    “It is unfortunate. To have our winter cut short like this.” Geralt only gets to see his family reliably once a year. Sometimes they cross paths outside of Kaedwen, but it’s unlikely. His one solace is that when he does see them, he gets to live with them for three months straight. It may be while they’re trapped in an old, crumbling castle, but Geralt treasures the time he has with them nonetheless. He already misses the extra month he’s skipping with them. The month and a half he had with them will have to last him the whole year. It won’t be enough. It never is.

    Eskel hums thoughtfully, and then shrugs. “It’s fine.” He meets Geralt’s surprised, and maybe slightly scandalized, look with a warm smile. The corner of his lip ticks up teasingly, pulling against his scar. “As much as I love you, I’ve already been surrounded by you all, and only you all, for two months. There are people, out on the Path, who I miss when I’m wintering. I’d like to see them, now.”

    Geralt’s sure that he goes a bit bug-eyed, with how excited the reminder makes him. Jaskier, he realizes, unsure how he’s forgotten until now. I can see Jaskier.

    or, Geralt kisses a mysterious "stranger" in Oxenfurt.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,175
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    357
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    2098
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier might be the best bard in all the Continent, yes, and his charm and wit legendary, but if there’s something – or someone – that makes him feel confused and sometimes downright dumb is… Well, Geralt of Rivia of course. He knows the witcher, knows his mannerisms and can translate his hums and grunts as well as if he was screaming about his feelings, but sometimes… Sometimes Geralt did some weird things and looked at him as if he expected Jaskier to know what he was doing and it simply didn’t make any sense.

     

    Or: the one where everyone's a dumbass, Geralt is terrible at flirting and Jaskier is his usual dramatic self.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,152
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    243
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1433
  9. Tags
    Summary

    It has been only seven days since Posada and Geralt's paper-thin patience can't handle this chattering bardling following him everywhere.
    The witcher tries everything to scare him off and each time Geralt pushes Jaskier away the songbird comes back with more determination.

    Geralt stops trying after a while and accepts his fate as Jaskier's muse. This burden slowly seems to become a need and Geralt is not ready to handle his own feelings when he was denying them throughout his whole life.

    OR: How these two muppets trying hard not to fall in love.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    109,562
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    246
    Kudos:
    591
    Bookmarks:
    159
    Hits:
    17095
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Buffy Summers is a sixteen year old mutant/slayer, born into a fated lineage of girls who slay vampires and demons. Labelled a freak of nature and the only one of her kind, until she meets the infamous Geralt of Rivia, a Witcher. Causing her to feel less alone in the world, finding someone who truly understands her

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,706
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    449
  11. Tags
    Summary

    There are three little words people usually say when declaring their feelings. They have never made sense to Geralt. So instead, he has his own three words to tell people how much they mean to him. They are not always the same, but they always mean so much to him.

    It's too bad that there's little chance of Jaskier understanding Geralt's own three little words.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,290
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    286
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1508
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier offers kisses for luck, immediately backpedals, and leaves Geralt in the path of misfortune.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,041
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    268
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt comes back from the public bath looking upset. His face is molded into a deep scowl, his shoulders tense and and footsteps heavier than necessary. His hair is even completely loose against his shoulders and neck, like he couldn’t be bothered to tie it up.

    It’s not entirely unusual for Geralt to be upset like this, but baths normally calm him down. Jaskier assumes that he had to, Melitele forbid, talk to someone. Geralt always hates when that happens. Perhaps he even had to carry out a conversation for some reason. Forced to at swordpoint or something.

    or, Jaskier attempts to cheer up Geralt after a hard day.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,175
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    371
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    1932
  14. Tags
    Summary

    "Youre lucky I can't draw my sword, Bard."

    "You're lucky I'm not easily offended, or..." Jaskier's face scrunched up in concentration, but no threat he could accomplish seemed enough against the gigantic semi-human. "I'd kill you with my very intimidating big muscles."

    "Ah, yes. Don't worry, I think this injury will do all the work for you" The Witcher laughed weakly, but it seemed like it was the wrong thing to say, because when he looked at his companion he could only see the panic rising up again.

    "Oh, fuck."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,949
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    831
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Summer in Toussaint and a Dornish diplomatic party. What could possibly go wrong?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,197
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    114
    Kudos:
    127
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    1459
  16. Tags
    Summary

    On their way to a Halloween party, Geralt and Jaskier get lost in the woods and end up stumbling into somebody who knows an entirely different version of them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,975
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    76
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    512
  17. Tags
    Summary

    "As soon as he had run into Geralt at the bar, Jaskier had been both mindlessly infatuated and completely unsure what to expect. Geralt's enthusiasm for learning to give head was definitely one of the things he didn't see coming."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,179
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    77
    Kudos:
    313
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    2078
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier wishes Yennefer and Geralt would stop being so weird and just fuck already.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,683
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    95
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    660
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt needs to get Ciri to Cintra, but going by land is too dangerous. While at sea, Geralt reunites with a face who he thought would be happy to see him, it was not.

    This was done because I just love how angry Joey Batey can sing sometimes, it's so beautiful. Also Pirates are just cool

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,932
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    80
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1180
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt was tired of being immortal and watching the world change around him while he was trying to find his place in it. He was the last witcher to grace this earth, and as honouring as it was, it didn't fill up the hollowness inside him.

    He still spent his days hunting for monsters while he worked for an organisation that kept every magical being and supernatural creature as a secret from the public eye while he tried hard to avoid his memories about a certain teasing smile and cornflower-blue eyes.

    Hundreds of years after he last saw his bard, Geralt got a new case where the only eyewitness was a young brunet, with bright eyes, clever mouth, and he called himself Jaskier.

    Geralt didn't know if he land in his personal hell, or it was just a dream come true, but he knew one thing. He was not ready to face Jaskier again and deal with his emotions at the same time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    120,492
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    322
    Kudos:
    331
    Bookmarks:
    76
    Hits:
    8283

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