1 - 20 of 73 Works in Garfield the Deals Warlock

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Avi had started a new chapter of his life. He was an adult now, with his own adult place and adult responsibilities, and he was planning on getting it right this time. Or he would have, if the asshole who lived upstairs didn't play his violin so late at night.

    What was it about its melody that didn't let Avi sleep? And when was the last time Avi had cried this hard over a song?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,736
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    119
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    469
  2. Tags
    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,774
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    13
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Reminiscing on their adventures isn't as fun as you'd think.

    Also Taakos a horndog.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    422
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    75
  4. Tags
    Summary

    "The months in Her retinue are long, and the work is hard. Her standards are high, and to satisfy them, Kravitz must be ruthless. But his conviction never falters. She is omnipotent. She is the avenging force of Justice, and Kravitz Her hand. She will keep the kingdom free, and for Kravitz to do her bidding is the greatest honor on this earth."

    "Taako’s fingers curl tightly around the ropes of the Starblaster’s rigging as the ship cuts smoothly through the waves of the Sea of Souls below, his heart pounding in his chest and his eyes on the horizon...In these moments, it’s freedom that hangs sweet on his tongue and settles in his lungs, and Taako loves nothing better."

    It's a pirate AU! You know the rest!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,351
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    366
    Kudos:
    385
    Bookmarks:
    98
    Hits:
    4576
  5. Tags
    Summary

    A series of mostly unrelated one shots and short stories. Not going to lie, a large amount of them will feature my son Angus. However an attempt will be made to give each of the seven birds and various characters some screen time.

    Chapter 1: It's Angus' turn to lose some memories.

    Chapter 2: Angus is Taako's magic boy. Istus help the fool that doesn't know that.

    Chapter 3: Part two of chapter 1: The great mystery of Angus McDonald's missing memories.

    Chapter 4: Part three of Capter 1: Still no memories but getting warmer

    Chapter 5: Dark!Angus AU

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,138
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    190
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1669
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Lup and Magnus explore a winding market town, eat something they probably shouldn't, and make a misogynistic white man reevaluate his life choices.
    So, just the usual, huh?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,122
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    19
    Hits:
    84
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Something's wrong, and Taako can't tell what. So, he enlists the help of boy detective-turned-chef Angus McDonald to bake some macaroons.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,124
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    129
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    487
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Taako never cared for kids. Angus changes that.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    95,850
    Chapters:
    22/22
    Comments:
    183
    Kudos:
    265
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    4175
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Hurley works for the Goldcliff Police Department but has a secret love for illegal drag racing. The same woman keeps appearing in her investigations, while Hurley is enchanted by a fellow racer. Hurley unravels some of the deep mysteries of Goldcliff has hidden under the beating sun with the help of her extremely young detective partner and a coroner who just wants to find his wife.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,290
    Chapters:
    4/9
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    45
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Neela finds a new shop, and decides to get Jordan in on the fashion

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    598
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    9
  11. Tags
    Summary

    In this brief one-chapter interlude between adventures, our heroes attend an office party -- well, a carnival -- at the Bureau of Balance's lunar headquarters. They also hit up the Fantasy Costco, where they must match wits with their most fearsome mercantile foe yet.

    Note: This work is part of a collection aiming to adapt the incredible TAZ: Balance arc into a cohesive series of novels. I have several friends who are eager to experience the story but, for various reasons, cannot handle podcasts. Until the graphic novels catch up, this is for them. The story, plot, and characters belong to Griffin, Travis, Justin, and Clint McElroy; I highly recommend enjoying the incredible story through their podcast if you are capable of doing so. They're a lot funnier than I can ever hope to be. Otherwise, please enjoy!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,403
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    54
  12. Tags
    Summary

    With Lup missing and he and Taako unable to find any sign of her, Barry Bluejeans had thought things couldn't get any worse.

    He was wrong. Now he's completely alone, on the run, hoping to find a way to fix everything and reunite his family.

    These are Barry's voidfished years, his years wihout Lup, his years forced to play the villain.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,390
    Chapters:
    19/?
    Comments:
    188
    Kudos:
    121
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1203
  13. Tags
    Summary

    When Phandalin goes up in flames practically overnight, world-famous detective Angus McDonald is on the case (whether his services are specifically requested or not). But what to do with its lone survivor? One elven little boy and his umbrella may just hold all the answers... ...and prove to be Angus's greatest unsolved mystery yet. One thing's for sure: it's bad luck to open an umbrella indoors.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    98,148
    Chapters:
    30/?
    Comments:
    1121
    Kudos:
    969
    Bookmarks:
    148
    Hits:
    10519
  14. Tags
    Summary

    On Candlenights eve, a storm rolls in. Everyone handles it differently.

    Taako gives a gift. Magnus requests a song. Lucretia makes tea. Barry makes a deal. Merle writes a poem.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,567
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    137
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Camp Faerun isn't a bad camp, per se, but things do tend to go wild on a regular basis. "Wild" doesn't mean that the campers sneak out of the unit to steal ice cream from the dining hall (they do that, but that's not wild. That's pretty standard). "Wild" means that Brian defects to the snotty brat camp across the lake. "Wild" means that Lup and Aubrey become friends and nearly burn down half the forest. "Wild" also means that there's an oil baron trying to buy out the camp, and he's gauging the best way to do that by trying to shut it down via sabatoge, but also taking the weird plantfucking nature specialist on dates? For some reason?
    If you're a new camper here for a relaxing summer, then I can almost guarantee that, despite Duck Newton and Davenport's best efforts, Taako, Lup, Magnus, and Aubrey will get you across the lake in the fastest way possible (they're gonna fire you out of a catapult). So, if you just accept your fate, don't buy the dehydrated water from the camp store, and avoid getting knifed by Duck's weirdo psychopath cousin, then you'll (probably) survive the summer!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,253
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    448
  16. Tags
    Summary

    As soon as Lucretia realizes she's pregnant she knows it's too dangerous to raise the baby herself, but she's given up so much family already, for once, she just wants to hold on.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,755
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    98
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    637
  17. Tags
    Summary

    "Behind the front counter stood an elf, hair loose around his face and shoulders. He had on possibly the largest hat any of them had ever seen, and he was painting his nails a bright shimmery blue, the same color as the mage hand holding the brush."
    --
    Different choices are made by at least two people, which results in Magnus and Merle having a much weirder magic-inclined teammate. Fantasy Costco may still exist, but not on the moon.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,552
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    153
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    1078
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Each waking up with two strangers at his side, Merle, Magnus, and Taako make their way through dangerous situations whilst enlisted by a strange but seemingly well-natured organization.

    Calenture: n. A Feverish Delirium

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,411
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    39
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Our Tres-Horny-Boys find a new bakery opening up on the Bureau of Balance moon base. Taako knows something's up. Merle likes the novelty cakes in the shape of Pan. Magnus feels different.

    Spoiler warning, just in case, y'know?

    ---
    Devoted to 3 of my best gal and non-binary pals.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N-IREy7C9s <---Background music for this entire story.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,059
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    75
  20. Tags
    Summary

    You died when you fell.
    You tumbled through the air, a smoking crater in your chest, and hit the ground hard enough to snap your neck.

    You fell, and you died, and for ten long years after that you just kept on dying, over and over and over.

     

    (Or: a series of vignettes as Barry searches for Lup, annoys the Grim Reaper, and tries his best not to go insane.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,859
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    433

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