17 Works in Gandalf Is a Little Shit

Listing Works

  1. Tags
    Summary

    In a hole in the ground, there lived - not a hobbit, but another manner of creature. A creature who had grown tired of adventures, who's heart was a beautiful gleaming gemstone. He stayed in the Hobbit hole, still going out to protect and help Middle-Earth from the shadows. But other than that, he sits in his warm home, content with resting.

    Of course Gandalf had to ruin that by barging into his Smial with thirteen dwarves who were too curious for their own good.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,936
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    128
    Bookmarks:
    40
    Hits:
    1030
  2. Tags
    Summary

    When the hobbits of The Shire are attacked by the White Wolves, there is nothing but death. Most luckily, the wandering wizard Gandalf shows up, and pleads with the dwarven prince—who’d been passing through on his way to Erebor—to help Bilbo’s people. Three months later, a letter arrives explaining the situation. Half of the hobbits would live with the dwarves, in Erebor. The other half would live with the elves of Mirkwood.
    .
    .
    .
    Bilbo wants to be angry. Thranduil is essentially selling him—trading him like livestock—just for some long lost jewels. He wants to argue and fight—but he’s smart, just as Thranduil had acknowledged, and knows he does not have a choice. At least, not with the child he must care for now. Before, Bilbo might have been able to escape Mirkwood. Travel far, far away, and start from scratch. But he doesn’t have that option. Not anymore. So, instead of refusing, he asks, “What is his name?”

    Thraunduil regards him with the blank carelessness that only comes from hundreds of years alone.

    “Thorin Oakenshield.”

    //

    basically: an arranged marriage!au with some little hobbits thrown in, some angst, loads of friendship, some slow burn, and lots of mishaps.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,131
    Chapters:
    5/10
    Comments:
    97
    Kudos:
    244
    Bookmarks:
    85
    Hits:
    2892
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Willow Baggins met a dwarf in Bree when she’s drinking away her sorrows as her ex-husband, Otho, gets remarried and takes her home away from her. The next morning the dwarf disappears and Willow is left more broken than before.

    Years later, the dwarf that left her shows up on her doorstep thanks to a pesky wizard. But Willow isn’t the same hobbit Thorin met all those years ago. Now, she has someone to care about and someone who cares about her.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,164
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    264
    Kudos:
    740
    Bookmarks:
    225
    Hits:
    12118
  4. Tags
    Summary

    The power of Sauron lingers in Middle Earth, and he grows stronger every day. Morgen is restless and can ignore her roots no longer. Fueled with broken pieces of information and a wizard’s educated guess, she sets out on a quest to find answers. But her life is in more danger than she thought, and Sauron is not her only enemy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    402
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    39
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Morose, bad-tempered, and resentful, refusing to be cheerful.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    100
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    42
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Another year, another prank. Gandalf (Dumbledoor) continues his quest of making Frodo's (Harry's) life miserable. He is also becoming more and more aware of the issues with this world. Mainly the finacial issues that comes with having a giant squid who loves oranges.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,576
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    54
  7. Tags
    Summary

    All of Gandalf’s favors were too much, all of them went too far. It came with the territory, he was, after all, a wizard with a penchant for throwing people in over their heads. But still, every once in a while couldn’t he just ask for help with moving a chair? Fixing a wagon? Fashion advice? Of course not, that would be boring, instead every call for aid was do or die with high stakes and dire consequences. Sometimes I wondered how I even fell in with the troublesome wizard, but then I remembered that he knew the truth, my truth thought of me as a friend regardless. I would help him, I always did and I always would, no matter the likelihood of death. I swear, that bastard knew it too. This time, it meant traversing the continent with people I barely knew, but I supposed it wasn’t the worst thing. (Tenth walker)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    801
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    57
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Everyone knew that Thorin Oakenshield's husband and consort was a hobbit by the name of Bilbo Baggins. They highly respect and love that their consort can turn into a dragon at any given moment, thus earning him the title Erebor's Dragon.

    Erebor can handle one dragon they know and love, but what happens when one bored wizard comes along and makes Thorin turn into a dragon for the first time? Will anyone be safe from the wrath of a dwarf king turned dragon?

    One thing for sure won't be safe from fire: Gandalf's beard. And he's not too happy about that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,216
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    122
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    1902
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Three girls: Rosie, Frankie and Cece find themselves rolling off the side of a road and crashing in a thicket of trees. It's a tumble downhill, full of bumps, bruises but thankfully, no broken bones. Waking up from the crash, they find themselves somewhere magical, mysterious and that was certainly not home. Discovered by a strange-looking man, he leads them back to the main road...of Middle Earth.

    They are in the story of The Hobbit, trapped and unsure of how to get back. They are then faced with the fact that they will not be going home any time soon, so will they help the dwarves reclaim theirs?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    149,049
    Chapters:
    58/58
    Comments:
    227
    Kudos:
    370
    Bookmarks:
    65
    Hits:
    8373
  10. Tags
    Summary

    What if there was such a thing as a time-changer? A being that can bend time and space to fit all that is right? With her voice. In this semi-alternate universe, trying to settle in her new life and new body per say, for the thirteenth time, she is visited by an old friend with a pointy hat and a long beard of grey. Will she listen to the proposition he has for her or will her past sorrows make her stay where she is?
    I have no idea what I am doing, please enjoy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,993
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    323
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Sigrid's still recovering after her break up with Lothíriel, and it's starting to effect her game. With Rio only a few weeks away, can she find a way to get it all back and keep her spot on the GB Field Hockey Squad?

    In walk Fíli McBuri, GB Men's Hockey Player and son of the famous Dís Durinson. Turns out he's been in a bit of a bother too, and well wouldn't it be great if we had lots of casual, friendly no-strings sex to keep our heads in the game and make sure we can help our teams to victory?

    But with emotions and hormones running high, is there really any likelihood that this won't end in heartbreak?

    After all, this is the Olympics; where it's win or lose, and there's no Gold Medal for falling in love.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    75,139
    Chapters:
    17/19
    Comments:
    182
    Kudos:
    104
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    2426
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Thorin wakes up in a strange woman's bed. Thank you, Gandalf.

    This is the revised version of a story I wrote two years ago. Let's see how it goes.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,661
    Chapters:
    2/9
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    747
  13. Tags
    Summary

    The hobbits were once a noble and valiant race that is until the orcs attacked. Now the King is dead and the queen of young prince have gone into hiding. A friend has decided to find them and restore them to their throne with the help of 13 dwarves and a wizard. However you cannot find a hobbit without another hobbit. The wizard has chosen one but why is this hobbit so familiar?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,482
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    152
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    2236
  14. Tags
    Summary

    And there it was. The source of his never ending agony.
    /'Never ending agony'? Dramatic much, are we? If it's that bad to live in MY damn body how about YOU LEAVE?/
    Thorin didn't dignify the voice inside his head with an answer.

     

    All Thorin had wanted was a holiday from the hard life of a demon prince.
    What he gets instead is one annoying voice in his head, one crazy boss, one completely loony relative on a killing-spree, one deadly sickness, one dress that is actually a nightshirt, one cat that really is no cat at all but some kind of killer-slug, and at last the one thing he'd really never expected to get all his life.
    (Not that he'd expected any of the others, but... you know. Summaries and stuff. They always end like this.) (Damn I'm bad at this.) (This is exactly why I always just take quotes instead of writing something new in the summary.) (I'll stop now.) (Read this.) (It's funny.)

     

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,878
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    354
  15. Tags
    Summary

    As much as Legolas loves his father, there is only so much he take of him at one time. Especially when out christmas shopping.

    So when he comes across The Black Arrow Inn and its "Day Care Centre" (Standard package: One Pint, Deluxe Package: Double Whiskey) he decides to deposit Thranduil there to give him a moments peace. Thranduil is reluctant to comply until a certain attractive Innkeeper shows up.

    Featuring cheeky pensioners, young people who won't admit their feelings and middle-aged flirting.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,413
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    112
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    2058
  16. Tags
    Summary

    He couldn’t recall the exact words as his mind had already been taken over by the darkness of Dragon’s disease, but knowing himself quite well, he knew they must’ve been terribly harsh. Cutting and hurting enough to push the Burglar to leave shortly after the bloody battle.

    or Thorin Oakenshield realises he fucked up big time and embarks on another adventure to try and fix the mess he made.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,772
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    292
    Bookmarks:
    48
    Hits:
    6661
  17. Tags
    Summary

    [Or: No Longer Blind]

    There were moments in the sluggish days searching for the Arkenstone under the mountain where he'd thought that maybe, after all they'd been through together, the mist would clear and Thorin would come back.

    When it finally did, everything moved too quickly- and just as quickly as he returned, he was gone again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,203
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    480

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