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  1. Tags
    Summary

    31 prompts, (hopefully) 31 days of adulterated fluff.
    ...or swearing.

    Each chapter is a new writing prompt. Will update tags en route.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,205
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    28
    Hits:
    111
  2. Tags
    Summary

    The anger comes later, once the fresh hurt has left him.

    After the mountain, Jaskier tries his best to forget about Geralt of Rivia. It would be far easier if the Witcher would stop somehow getting Jaskier involved in his messes, or if he stopped trying to apologise, badly.

    Jaskier is a wanted man, Nilfgaard is on the move, a princess is missing and a Witcher is wanted. There's a sorceress who has made it her one goal in life to annoy him. Somehow none of these are his biggest problem, your past will always catch up with you, no matter how hard you try to outrun it.

    Or,

    Jaskier attempts to outrun all his problems at once, he does not succeed in the slightest.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,566
    Chapters:
    3/20
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    59
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    562
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Some people fall in love easily. Lambert fell in love kicking and screaming. Aiden is an annoying motherfucker; he's loud and short tempered and emotional- and everything Lambert never knew he wanted.

    With Aiden, Lambert was happy. But then Aiden was murdered, and Lambert was left broken, with no one to pick up the pieces.

    Now years later, Eskel returns home one winter with a feral witcher that turns out to be Aiden. With no memories, a missing eye, and nothing but aggressive instincts, Aiden is even more broken than Lambert. But Lambert is not so easily deterred. Destiny has given him a second chance with the man he loves and he’ll do everything in his power to put him back together.

    Takes place between the end and epilogue of Try, Please Try For Me

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,454
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    64
    Kudos:
    143
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    1115
  4. Tags
    Summary

    It was in the silence his ghosts were always their loudest, their most dangerous; in stillness their most unavoidable.

    So Jaskier the bard sang his songs and filled the spaces. He hummed shanties long into the night, his fingers chasing up and down the strings of his lute like he had once chased his brothers and sisters up and down the rigging of their ships.

    Now he'd finally found a mentor who could teach him the final lessons he needed to become a full Witcher. So what if he seems strangely overprotective? They are the last of their schools, and Geralt allows Jaskier to walk his Path alongside him. Wolf and Crane, alone together.

    Too bad Geralt didn't realize what this strange human-seeming bard was actually asking of him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    88,171
    Chapters:
    23/26
    Comments:
    650
    Kudos:
    1217
    Bookmarks:
    338
    Hits:
    22039
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier wasn't exactly sure what he had expected Kaer Morhen to be like but the keep was everything and nothing like it. The place was a dichotomy. Magnificent and sad in equal measures in its derelict state. Silent but full of noise. Cold yet filled with warmth.

    But most importantly, it was Geralt's home. Seeing him so relaxed, the sharpest edges rounded down with the knowledge of being safe and surrounded by his family was a beautiful sight to behold.

    Jaskier wished he too would relearn what safety felt like.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    262,180
    Chapters:
    50/?
    Comments:
    1152
    Kudos:
    652
    Bookmarks:
    98
    Hits:
    32596
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier's in the wrong place at the wrong time, and those potion vials are more fragile than one would expect.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,799
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    233
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    1049
  7. Tags
    Summary

    “You were learned before the Cats had you. Perhaps I could’ve just asked you to get me answers,” he says steadily as foreign magic starts to creep painfully up Jaskier’s legs, an ache deeper than he’s ever felt before, like his bones are too tight. “But I’ve no patience for disrespect, certainly not from fools. You think they love you, do you?” His mouth curls as he sweeps Jaskier’s hair away from his forehead. “Let’s fix that.”

    Jaskier hardly has time to feel properly horrified by the implication of those words before Ireneus’ fingers press against his temples and pain makes the world go dark.

     

    (Jaskier is abducted by a mage who's looking to replace his broken 'pet witcher'. Brainwashed and convinced the Cats hate him, Jaskier is going to need rescuing himself before he's ready to rescue anyone else.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,229
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    291
    Kudos:
    323
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    3617
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Breaking Jaskier out of jail was a task Geralt had resigned himself to. But when he arrived, it seemed his plan was unnecessary.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    766
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    249
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Have I in fact genderbent Jaskier and Geralt specifically to make this a lesbian romance? You bet your ass I have. Enjoy just fae burnout Jaskier tumbling into love with Geralt and being a general nuisance-- plus, they're both women for no reason other than I say it's so.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,364
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    279
  10. Tags
    Summary

    It’s almost 2 months after the Mountain Incident and Jaskier is sitting at a tavern, drinking his sorrows away. About Geralt, his sorry state of being (no lute, low on coin, alone), fall of Cintra just 2 weeks ago, fate and everything else. He though he was going to stay by the witcher’s side forever, but life’s no fairy tale. So more ale for him.
    In the corner Nilfgaardian soldiers get ready to kidnap the bard and give him to their wicked sorceress leader to force information from him about the lost princess. She may torture and curse him to get what they need, but hey, what can you expect from Fringilla Vigo’s student?

    Geralt’s 100% done with destiny. He’s with Ciri and has to hide from Nilfgaard's forces. And he still has to find Yennefer and beg her to locate his bard, damn it! And he needs to apologise if he wants to get his “dear heart” back.

    Yennefer licks her wound hidden in Brudge and contemplates her life.
    Triss helps fellow mages in Vizima.

    Lambert and Eskel travel south in search of Geralt, because they got letters from his bard saying their brother will need help.
    Oh, and they don’t even know about half of the shitshow it’s about to become. Truly ballad worthy story.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    105,876
    Chapters:
    43/?
    Comments:
    180
    Kudos:
    379
    Bookmarks:
    69
    Hits:
    17202
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “He doesn’t have much time now,” the demon observed, “Even Witchers need oxygen. This is your only hope of saving him.”

    Jaskier’s face went firm and determined, turning back to the creature with no sign of his earlier hesitation.

    The demon looked amused. “Are you sure he’d worth giving up so much?”

    “All that and more,” Jaskier whispered.

    Then he stepped into the circle.
    —————————
    To save Geralt, Jaskier lets himself be possessed by the demon he was hunting. Will there be anything left of the bard for Geralt to save?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,780
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    154
    Kudos:
    709
    Bookmarks:
    91
    Hits:
    7249
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier has a power hungry captor who wants to use him and punishes Jask when he won't call him Master.

    or

    Jaskier sasses and angry fucks his captor so well get gets the chance to escape. Violently.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,756
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    26
    Hits:
    370
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Witchers feel emotions, Renfri wasn't a monster, Roach is notably chill, Geralt prefers nonhuman company and lies a lot, Jaskier is generally good at people but is happy to ignore what they say, Yennefer's life is abuse piled atop abuse with a sprinkle of ethnic cleansing and a complete lack of choice, Istredd's life likely wasn't much better, Tissaia does not know what she's doing, Triss is lying about being assigned to cure the princess but is afraid to admit a personal investment, Jaskier is surprisingly tolerant of Geralt getting him on Calanthe's shitlist, Kalis was in a bad situation and didn't rise above it, it really shouldn't surprise people Yennefer gets weird about having a kid, rogue mages are afraid of the Brotherhood but it seems to be a paper tiger, Jaskier took being dumped by the countess really hard but despite being drunk and having his own problems he's concerned for Geralt and wants to help him, Geralt was fine with having sex with Yennefer but concerned she had some other plot. There is so much going on with Yennefer in Bottled Appetites, and it has virtually no overlap with what fandom thinks was going on.

    Ch24: Yennefer doesn't believe anyone cares about her or could possibly care about her.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    152,453
    Chapters:
    24/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    179
    Kudos:
    168
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    4750
  14. Tags
    Summary

    It was a shame Jaskier didn't know how to love people properly, he thought. Geralt might have benefited from some good, honest love.

    Then again, he didn't seem like the kind of man interested in much more than physical gratification. That was probably why this whole thing worked so well.

    (or, the one where geralt and jaskier meet up to have sex every few days while on tour and jaskier's confident it'll never be more than that.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,798
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    99
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    840
  15. Tags
    Summary

    once again inspired by a tumblr post! this one is a post by pleasesupplymewithyourwahoos and it's basically jaskier getting drunk and being like "lmao geralt cant believe you still think my name's jaskier" and then the goblin that lives in my brain insisted i give it plot, and now i have like 3k written for this and honestly i am exhausted. also I looked up midieval insults for this!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,446
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    441
    Bookmarks:
    50
    Hits:
    3901
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt had been promised the best ale of Oxenfurt , instead he had gained first seat to a fight between two bards in the middle of a tavern and honestly what else did he expect after falling for Jaskier’s advices. Now they are in an alley screaming at each other and someone is about to say too much.

    Or

    Geralt get to see Jaskier punch someone and be covered in blood , get yelled at and have a ”…oh-” moment.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,900
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    272
  17. Tags
    Summary

    It is no secret to the men and women of the continent that Geralt of Rivia is one fine piece of ass.

    Most days Jaskier has to fight to keep from swooning at the very sight of his friend-- and he’s not alone in this predicament. He catches men and women in every town that they come across ogling Geralt in one way or another. Yes, Geralt’s attractiveness is blatantly, painfully, beautifully obvious to everyone with eyes.

    Everyone that is, but Geralt himself.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,508
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    167
    Kudos:
    742
    Bookmarks:
    125
    Hits:
    6772
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier isn't sure how long he's been held by the Nilfgaardians. At least a month by his reckoning. There seems to be no end in sight to the torture. That is until he's told he's being taken somewhere else. Somewhere worse.

    A mage uses Jaskier as his test subject and the bard wishes he could go back to the usual torture. That is until the results of this experiment give him an opportunity to escape.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,499
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    206
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    1685
  19. Tags
    Summary

    "I am in the business of making money, Master Witcher. Three gold crowns, for a beginner's grimoire? I would have been a fool not to take such a generous offer."

    "Three women are dead because of your greed. You mean to tell me that that is how much their lives were worth to you? A single gold crown a piece?"

    "They knew what it was that they were purchasing. They knew the risks."

    But they didn't, not really. Geralt wasn't even entirely certain what it was that they'd purchased, because no 'beginner's grimoire' could bring a proper rage demon forth. And there was no denying that the malformed red and black mass in front of him was, in fact, a demon. A powerful one, too. It'd torn through the women like paper, and carved a bloody swath through a local farmer's fields, before Geralt had finally been able to corner it in a fight. The fight had lasted all of three seconds before the demon had gotten wise and set his sights on Jaskier. The hellspawn had settled into Jaskier's skin like a child might settle into the warmth of a soft, fluffy blanket, before it'd dragged Jaskier's fingers over the strings of his lute in a piss-poor attempt at the opening chords to Toss a Coin.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,081
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    72
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    669
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “You have a secret middle name only your father and I know.” His mother says, gaze fixed on the absent space on his second finger which the ring she gave him to hide himself used to occupy.

    “And what is my alleged full name, then?”

    She tells him. He laughs.

    She does not.

    “Why are you telling me now?”

    Her eyes are cold and sharp. “You needed to know.”

    “Why?”

    “You’re about to do something very stupid, aren’t you?”

     

    Or; Jaskier goes on a lovely little holiday and meets his extended family. It is not relaxing.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,380
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    74
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    542

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