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  1. Tags
    Summary

    The phone rings.

    It’s a sharp, ear-piercing tone, a faint buzz in a pocket, and a tinny ringing. Three men pick up, reaching into pockets, running to tables; then they speak, one unified utterance.

    “Hello, this is your neighborhood detective service. How can I help you?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    101
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    78
  2. Tags
    Summary

    In a future world, the a superior group of people, the Elite, try to expand their population. Once every age group turns 21 in the Elite, they are to chose a Common, one of the group of lesser people, to wed. That person is trained to eventually become one of the Elite, thus expanding the population.

    Stuart Dakin never cared about the system. He was never going to change his habits of sleeping around with anyone relatively attractive, and he was cure his Chosen would understand that.

    Blaine Anderson was ecstatic about the system. He wanted his opportunity to chose someone he could fall in love, and who would love him back. He couldn't look away from a pair of gorgeous blue eyes.

    Dirk Gently needed the system. He was going to use it to connect to his childhood friend who cut off all contact at a young age.

    What happens when these three storylines combine? What will happen to the system itself?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,033
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    166
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Having just recently contracted Pararibulitis, Todd Brotzman has been living his life suspended in an unvarying slog of unfulfilling jobs and shallow depression, content to simply keep his head above water and go on surviving...

    Which is made somewhat difficult due to the unexpected and incredibly inconvenient infatuation he develops toward one Dirk Gently, the eccentric and colorful florist who has recently begun working just across the street.

    (alternatively; a simple coffee shop/flower shop au that carried itself just a bit out of hand).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,520
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    109
    Kudos:
    85
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    728
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Adrien started to pull Todd out of the room by his waist, and Todd lost his cool completely. The walls fell in and the world lost its balance, if Adrien hadn’t been holding him the way that he had, Todd would have collapsed entirely.

    “What is your damage?” Adrien huffed. He shoved Todd, watching as he fell the rest of the way to the floor.

    “Don't- touch- don't.” No no. Oh no.

    “See, and here I thought you understood the rules. I do whatever I want.” Adrien said, crouching down next to Todd and grabbing him by the front of his shirt. This close up, Todd could clearly see the glowing red in Adrien’s eyes.

    No no no no no.

    No!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,182
    Chapters:
    19/20
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    271
  5. Tags
    Summary

    "Terrible as it is, it’s easier to cling to the hope that there were good reasons for what they did. That the people who treated him well were at heart good people, and they hadn’t just been lying to him the whole time, that the small amounts of affection he’d been given were real and tangible. Even when he knows the truth somewhere deep inside it doesn’t mean he wants to acknowledge it.

    But, like all things, it’s only a matter of time."

    ***
    The only thing Dirk Gently has ever learned to do with his trauma, is shove it down as deep as it will go, lock it away, and hope that ignoring it means it isn't really there. For a while at least, it works. But when the past comes knocking looking to make amends, and pretending that none of it was as bad as it seemed isn't an option anymore, the delicate balancing act he's been practicing for years finally tips over the edge.

    Healing is painful, recovery isn't linear, sometimes you have to tear everything down before you can start to rebuild.

    His own demons might be the scariest thing he's ever had to face, but it's not something he has to do alone, and in the end that makes all the difference.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,726
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    117
    Kudos:
    112
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    1040
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Okay, first fanfic ever, so it might not be in the style you're all used to. Set after the show at the end of season 2 about 5 months after the Detective Agency was opened - When an ex-boyfriend of Dirk's shows up and asks for his help in a case that could end life as we know it, Dirk decides to leave his 'normal' friends behind to keep them safe...this doesn't end well.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,488
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    15
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Todd snapped on day three.

    Before that a lot happened, which made the snapping of Todd warranted, but Dirk was just there for the ride, really. It's not- well, it's not good. Not good good, anyhow.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,971
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    156
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Todd loses his concentration whilst trying to hold the portal open and ends up in Blackwing, where he sees something unexpected.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,351
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    47
  9. Tags
    Summary

    three months after the events of Bergsberg and Wendimoor, Dirk is kidnapped again.

    following this, it becomes very clear, very quickly, that Todd hasn't yet taken the time to mentally process the drastic shift that has taken place within his life, leading up to this point.

    this is the aftermath.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,790
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    347
  10. Tags
    Summary

    When the reality is in danger, a message is spread all over the Universe: The promise of pain that will overcome everyone in the Cosmos. And on the verge of the end of the world, only one man can save us all. His name is Dirk Gently.

    A dysfunctional trio, a powerful pack, a missing girl, highly intelligent children, several people disappeared, a backward clock, loads of ketchup and three words:

    Everything is connected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    110,936
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    805
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “And do you have an idea of one?”

    “An… idea?”

    “Yes! Of your dream person!”

    It’s weird. Todd wants to say no. To make up some bullshit about how he’ll know them when he sees them. But almost immediately, an image of Dirk flickers into his mind, and his stomach does a somersault.

    --

    In which Todd thinks that he maybe, possibly, is kinda in love with Dirk. Featuring: grapples with self-doubt, struggling to talk about feelings, crazy demons that try to ruin everything, and googling "do I have feelings for my best friend?" as if the internet can help.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,816
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    84
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    512
  12. Tags
    Summary

    A place to share all my Dirk Gently fanart done for various DGHDA bang events and exchanges.
    1 - Under the Mistletoe (Brotzly - Xmas Exchange) For DrawYourGunsR5
    2 - Hold Her Fast (Farah/Amanda - Valentines Mini Bang) For Lynds
    3 - Shark Attack (Valentines Mini Bang) For scarletkestrel

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    172
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Apparently, Dirk really likes Valentine's Day. Apparently, Todd really likes Dirk.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,283
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    201
  14. Tags
    Summary

    One day, while Farah is on vacation, Dirk and Todd receive a mysterious email that sends them all the way to Tokyo, Japan on a case to find a missing clock. However, Dirk forgets to book them a hotel room, so they end up at one of Japan's infamous love hotels-- and there's only one bed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,476
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    247
  15. Tags
    Summary

    If anything, Dirk’s kidnappers are rather… nice.

    Right up until they drug his tea and he develops telepathy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,833
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    308
  16. Tags
    Summary

    “Perhaps,” Dirk says in his best ‘yes, I’m bullshitting you, but I’m your boyfriend and you love me still’ voice. “The universe wants it this way.”

    “The universe wants you to always forget to put the cap back on the toothpaste,” Todd says, unimpressed, screwing the cap on himself.

    -

    Or Todd’s adventures in dating Dirk Gently, the mundanities of which unsurprisingly turning out to not be very mundane at all (featuring, among other things: intergalactic wormholes, regular periods of lying down on the floor, and several annoying habits that concern toothpaste and toothbrushes.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,685
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    73
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    382
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Farah has survived grief, kidnapping, magical mind control, and traumatic injury. She’s allowed herself to trust her friends, and vice versa, and together they’re building something that they can be proud of. So why not allow herself this, too? Why not expose the shadowy, long-hidden corners of her heart and trust that Tina will protect them for her?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,131
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    55
  18. Tags
    Summary

    (because the best love songs are written with a broken heart)

    *

    Todd slumps against the door once it's closed behind him. Amanda is never going to believe this. Todd hardly believes it. The idea that Dirk Gently was in his house, wearing his clothes, and Todd spent that time wondering about apricots in honey, it seems so stupid.

    There's a knock on the door and Todd jumps in fright. It's Dirk, looking a bit sheepish. Todd can hardly believe it. "You came back." He says.

    Dirk smiles, for a second. "I forgot one of my bags."

     

    (or the Notting Hill AU where Dirk is a nervous TV star and Todd is an ex/aspiring musician who just spilt coffee all over him)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,496
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    312
  19. Tags
    Summary

    It’s a lot, he knows it’s a lot, and he almost wishes he’d stopped to think about his answer before just blurting his feelings all over the place. But then he supposes he’s always been a little like that, and it hardly makes sense to change that now. If Todd feels the same he already knows what he’s signing up for.

    If.

    For two small letters, it really is a big word.

    ***
    Dirk contemplates the uncertainties of the direction his life is heading post-Wendimoor, and finds a little certainty along the way.

    Or: Dirk is a smitten idiot, Todd really isn't much better, and Hobbs is the Dad we all deserve.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,258
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    344
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Mona's feeling down in the dumps (body insecurities) and her friends try to help her feel better about it all!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,899
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    73

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