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  1. Tags
    Summary

    A supernatural robbery across the ocean, an ex-Blackwing test subject, and the origins of Dirk's name. Could these three things possibly be connected? Of course they could. Everything is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,834
    Chapters:
    25/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    30
    Hits:
    503
  2. Tags
    Summary

    la CIA ha deciso di riacchiappare i suoi fuggitivi soggetti del progetto Blackwing. Ma stavolta c’è una differenza. O più di una. Comunque sia, stavolta un gruppetto costituito da un ex bugiardo patentato, una punk entusiasta per l’avventura, una guardia del corpo giusto un poco borderline, un hacker che sospetta di essere seriamente in preda ad un grave caso di sindrome di Stoccolma, uno dei progetti in questione ancora uccel di bosco, e altri eventuali alleati, sono decisi a recuperare i propri amici (o potenziali futuri colleghi. O ex-sequestratori omicidi seriali. O neo compagni di gang. Insomma, quello che è.). Beh, o almeno a provarci… giusto? Ma non importa, perché tanto succederà solo e solamente ciò che l’universo vorrà che succeda. Poco ma sicuro.

    Language:
    Italiano
    Words:
    169,467
    Chapters:
    27/42
    Comments:
    2
    Hits:
    98
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Due to some unforeseen financial struggles, the Mystery Gang decides to embark on a road trip to Southern California for a promising case, despite some members (read: Todd) not being entirely on board with the decision.

    A good old-fashioned, slow-burn romance. Featuring; small and shabby motel rooms not big enough for two, an extravagant wedding, tacky roadside diners and jukeboxes, inadvertent cuddling, the (somewhat enjoyed) sharing of clothing, buried feelings, and the forced sharing of motel room beds certainly not big enough for two

    (just your standard, run-of-the-mill roadtrip au ft. your two fave, hopeless boys)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,590
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    61
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    457
  4. Tags
    Summary

    This fic is set before season one, but also set in the times where people would be executed for being witches, or for being accused of being a witch. I can’t remember what year that was. Try to picture them in a place like Wendimoor *shrugs*.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,490
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    194
  5. Tags
    Summary

    What happens when the universe decides that you have overstayed your usefulness?
    There could come a point where a replacement for the Tools is necessary.
    But with the universe broken, it might not all go according to plan.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,740
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    108
  6. Tags
    Summary

    As with most things in Dirk Gently's life, things are fine until they're not.

    A mystery and minor inconvenience for Todd Brotzman takes a terrifying turn when Dirk insists on investigating, and it'll take more than a hunch for them to hold onto to all that they've built.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,832
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    373
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Picking up during the last episode of season two, dealing with all of the questions left unanswered.

     

     

    "So, The Boy was in Blackwing the whole time, and you've actually known him since you were a boy. The jacket is Mona, who is another Blackwing victim, and who also got you out of Blackwing, which is currently being run by Ken, Bart's friend, who fixed Patrick Spring's time machine in Seattle. In Wendimoor Amanda and Todd turned Pararibulitis into magical powers, and now Amanda has gone to find the rest of the people like you before Blackwing can, because the fabric of the universe is coming apart. Is that everything?"

    "Yes, essentially," Dirk says, as Todd is saying, "I don't have magic powers."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,975
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    66
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    603
  8. Tags
    Summary

    As requested, here is a collection of drabbles, all based on prompts I've gotten on tumblr (protecticarus).
    Some are gen & some include a relationship (Todd/Dirk & side pairings so far) which will be pretty clear from the prompt.
    Thank you so much for my tumblr followers for prompting, reading & liking these so far!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,970
    Chapters:
    34/?
    Comments:
    108
    Kudos:
    102
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1247
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Todd and Amanda Brotzman come from a long line of hackers. Unfortunately, they didn't end up filthy rich and known for being elite despite picking up everything they've learnt from their ancestors.

    Riggins is a millionare searching for his 'son' Svlad. Things like him escaping are dangerous.

    Dirk Gently has encrypted himself into a dating system. The swiftist way to find out where he is would be to hack the system, and force-match someone with Dirk in code. Amanda would do it, buuuut... pararibulitis and all. And besides, the machine doesn't allow other items from the real world like an XL 150 MG of Promadivan.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,649
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    48
  10. Tags
    Summary

    "It's very easy to act like a jerk, and then say, 'Well, I'm a jerk so that's that.' But it's not like... being a bloody werewolf, is it?"

    The werewolf AU that no one asked for. Takes place during 1.05 "Very Erectus."

    Please note the rating jump, however, the porny bits are easily avoided if that's not your cup of tea. More info on what to skip can be found in author's note of explicit chapters.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,105
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    70
    Kudos:
    182
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1773
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk Gently is lacking in almost everything. Direction, purpose, and experience are all things far out of his reach and the closer he looks the more empty the universe seems.

    He doesn’t have anything now but a tugging in his stomach and an unhealthy amount of blind faith in knowing that he can ride that wave until it drops him.

    ***

    This is the last in a series of stories looking at the different people Dirk has been in his lifetime, and how they are all a part of him even if he tries to keep them separate.

    We'll finish with Dirk Gently, a man who is everything and nothing all at once.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,638
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    198
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Just various plot ideas that hit me. That I’ll never go back to. I don’t own anything.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    626
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    67
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Tumblr user: @brotzlyprompts ((I love them go see them))
    Imagine Dirk staying at Todd’s house for a while, because he can’t access his own flat for some reason.

     He keeps a suitcase of clothes at the agency, so he brings them with him to Todd’s apartment. However, after the first night, Dirk cannot find the suitcase. Anywhere.

    The only solution? 

    To wear Todd’s clothes.

    Tumblr user: @dork-jently ((also love them ayyy go see them too))
    plot twist: todd stole the suitcase for this exact purpose

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,760
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    228
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Imagine Dirk casually singing Talk Too Much - a song he heard on the radio. Todd gets flustered whenever Dirk sings it.

    Bonus: Dirk knows that Todd gets flustered, which is exactly why he’s always singing the chorus around him.

    (‘You know I talk too much,

    Honey, come put your lips on mine and shut me up’)

    ((From //brotzlyprompts on tumblr - I love them go check them out

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,806
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    321
  15. Tags
    Summary

    “I’m going to kill them. I’m going to take my time with it, and you’re going to watch. You will watch them suffer and die in my hands, and do you know why they’re going to die?” Svlad was crying harder and Priest was slowly standing up, watching him with heavy eyes as he began pleading him not to. His voice already going hoarse from the tears he was choking on. He just kept smiling at him, hands sliding up to pet his hair. Running his gloved fingers through it before pulling his hand back to take the gloves off. “They’re going to die, because you don’t need them anymore. You have me now, and I’m all you’re ever going to have.” Svald was shaking his head while watching his face, a look of uncertainty in his eyes.

    “Wh-what does that mean?”

    “Oh, Svlad, this is the best part.” He was laughing while moving his hands to rest them on the boy’s arms, leaning on them and feeling them twitch and tense under his hands. “You’re mine now."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    154,155
    Chapters:
    19/?
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    859
  16. Tags
    Summary

    The Rowdy 3 have a girls night in. During the preparations no diner or grocery store is safe.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,493
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    218
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk Gently is a poor immigrant looking to strike in the caves and caverns of Kentucky in 1925... that is until his quest for fortune and fame come crashing down on him... a little bit too literally.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,249
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    48
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Years after escaping Blackwing, and still, Dirk knows he'll never be free of them.
    He just wishes the universe would stop reminding him of that.

     

    (Or: A series of connected snippets in Dirk's life as he finally becomes the detective he dreamed of being.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,190
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    96
  19. Tags
    Summary

    It was Dirk's favorite time of the year. That time when everyone focused on exams, romance was in the air, and going to Hogsmead was just around the corner.

    It was Christmas.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,342
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    169
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Now that Dirk has his shiny new agency, he decides that they ought to have someone manning the front desk. A whim (and the universe) leads him to hiring Lieutenant Assistent for the job, and it ends up working surprisingly well.

    There’s also a case, some slime is involved, and everything is definitely connected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,836
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    366

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