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  1. 55

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    'Dirk paused with his hand on the tap, glancing fretfully over his shoulder at Todd’s prone form on the floor. “Are they… are they getting any easier?”

    Silence. Todd didn’t open his eyes. After a few seconds, he bit his lip and shook his head minutely. Dirk’s heart sank.'

    In which Dirk decides he'll stop at nothing to find ways of helping Todd manage his illness, and comes up with a few rather unorthodox solutions- with rather unexpected side-effects.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,232
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    435
    Bookmarks:
    55
    Hits:
    3108
  2. 3

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    Summary

    Thanksgiving dinner at Dirk and Todd's new apartment was an incredible success, with the exception of one tiny, unfortunate detail - which, according to Dirk, was actually very Big and Devastating and Not, In Any Way, His Fault. Todd begged to differ - gently, though, because obviously, something was upsetting Dirk. Figuring out what was just a matter of time, patience...and an unexpected heart-to-heart on the bathroom floor.

    (*Chapter 1 is puke-free and can be read on its own, if preferred*)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,774
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    219
  3. 2

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    Summary

    “And do you have an idea of one?”

    “An… idea?”

    “Yes! Of your dream person!”

    It’s weird. Todd wants to say no. To make up some bullshit about how he’ll know them when he sees them. But almost immediately, an image of Dirk flickers into his mind, and his stomach does a somersault.

    --

    In which Todd thinks that he maybe, possibly, is kinda in love with Dirk. Featuring: grapples with self-doubt, struggling to talk about feelings, crazy demons that try to ruin everything, and googling "do I have feelings for my best friend?" as if the internet can help.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,813
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    185
  4. 15

    Summary

    DGHDA Omegaverse, Brotzly-centric one-shots. I'll be posting these as I write them- and since my inspiration is fickle, they'll be out of chronological order within the universe. But they all should work as stand-alones, so it shouldn't matter too much, and I'll put them in chronological order in the series notes as I go for reference. Anything from fluff to smut to angst to whatever the heck else, just getting all those random little ideas out.

    Have fun!

    Words:
    10,699
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    15
  5. 41

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    Summary

    Todd was more than hugging Dirk, he was clutching at him. His arms wrapped around Dirk’s body like vises and his fingers dug into Dirk’s shirt so tightly it felt like they might wrinkle it. For a wild moment, Dirk wished he wasn’t even wearing a shirt so that Todd could cling that tightly to his bare skin. Maybe then he would leave marks that Dirk could peruse later, to remind himself that this moment had been real.

    Or

    5 times Dirk and Todd hugged.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,544
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    86
    Kudos:
    378
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    4007
  6. 41

    Tags
    Summary

    "We should make the most of this situation." Dirk says.

    "What? Like have sex?" Todd says, snorting.

    Dirk goes rather red at this suggestion, and kicks Todd in response. "Or I could kick you out and use the leg room." He says.

     

     

    (A college au in which Todd and Dirk skirt around their feelings for each other because they're dipshits)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,053
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    338
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    2477
  7. 44

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    Summary

    Todd had seen some interesting customers during his time working in the coffee shop, but none quite as interesting as Dirk Gently. And he just won't leave.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,523
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    316
    Bookmarks:
    44
    Hits:
    1995
  8. 6

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    Summary

    Having just recently contracted Pararibulitis, Todd Brotzman has been living his life suspended in an unvarying slog of unfulfilling jobs and shallow depression, content to simply keep his head above water and go on surviving...

    Which is made somewhat difficult due to the unexpected and incredibly inconvenient infatuation he develops toward one Dirk Gently, the eccentric and colorful florist who has recently begun working just across the street.

    (alternatively; a simple coffee shop/flower shop au that carried itself just a bit out of hand).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,949
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    329
  9. *

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    Summary

    Even from a young age, he isn’t a romantic. It’s around third grade that kids start writing to their Match, eight year olds asking questions about their name, where they’re from, what they like, who they are. Todd doesn’t. He’s not really into the idea of Matches, even if it’s something he can’t change. People fall in love with people. If he falls in love, he’s not going to fall in love with someone who he knows only from ink on his arms that he didn’t put there.

    Whoever his Match is, however, does not feel the same way. His left arm (so he must be right handed) is covered with doodles. Crude flowers drawn with what looks like ballpoint pens, so lots of skipping and gaps in the lines. Sometimes the outlines of hearts that look like fountain pens, but are smudged quickly, the ink running too hard.

    Soulmate AU where anything you write on your arm appears visible on your soulmate's. Written for the Dirk Gently Big Bang 2017.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,224
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    103
    Kudos:
    1113
    Bookmarks:
    250
    Hits:
    10209
  10. 4

    Tags
    Summary

    A series of promptfics for Whumptober

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,986
    Chapters:
    31/31
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1018
  11. 9

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    Summary

    He had a bracelet around his wrist, that Amanda had tied there when they were older than kids, but younger than they were now. He had an earring in one ear, something he never pictured himself with. It was small and shiny and served multiple purposes and god, why was blood so warm? It should be cold, death was cold, why couldn’t blood be cold? There was a gun to his forehead, and he held his arms out on both sides and tried to make himself as best a shield he could.
    -
    Dirk Gently, minus the sci-fi elements. A lot of assassins and agents and CIA-ish stuff. I thought it would be fun to do something where the government was the main evil, and it turned into this.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,363
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    77
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1407
  12. 4

    Tags
    Summary

    “Perhaps,” Dirk says in his best ‘yes, I’m bullshitting you, but I’m your boyfriend and you love me still’ voice. “The universe wants it this way.”

    “The universe wants you to always forget to put the cap back on the toothpaste,” Todd says, unimpressed, screwing the cap on himself.

    -

    Or Todd’s adventures in dating Dirk Gently, the mundanities of which unsurprisingly turning out to not be very mundane at all (featuring, among other things: intergalactic wormholes, regular periods of lying down on the floor, and several annoying habits that concern toothpaste and toothbrushes.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,685
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    204
  13. 2

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    Summary

    Mona is sick, and loses control of her abilities. She tries to hide it, but it becomes too much to ignore.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,488
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    93
  14. 3

    Tags
    Summary

    Farah Black is the new girl in Amanda's school, and she's captivating. Everyone has a story about her. Amanda just can't quite figure out why her entire being is so totally aware of her, why her skin prickles when she's around, why Farah looks more real than anyone else she's ever known.

     

    Art by the incredible BloodAmber!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,929
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    66
  15. 1

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    Summary

    A question unanswered.

    A name unsaid.

    A doctor from the past.

    Dirk Gently doesn't know what to do when Todd asks him that dreaded question, the inquiry of who Mr. Priest really is. And it is that question that prompts the universe not only to answer that question for him, but to bring together the people who would know best. The doctor meets the patient, and the patient confronts the looming figures from his past as to why they never helped him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,975
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    82
  16. 4

    Tags
    Summary

    “Well okay,” he concedes after a moment, amused smirk firmly back in place as he takes another handful of popcorn. Salted. The heathen. “But if you want to turn it off just let me know.”

    It’s not a challenge, but he takes it as one all the same, sitting up straighter and hugging his pillow a little closer.

    “I’ll be fine.”

    ***
    My submission for DGHDA SpookFest 2018! I took Prompt 19: Scary Movies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,517
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    58
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    335
  17. 2

    Tags
    Summary

    It’s a lot, he knows it’s a lot, and he almost wishes he’d stopped to think about his answer before just blurting his feelings all over the place. But then he supposes he’s always been a little like that, and it hardly makes sense to change that now. If Todd feels the same he already knows what he’s signing up for.

    If.

    For two small letters, it really is a big word.

    ***
    Dirk contemplates the uncertainties of the direction his life is heading post-Wendimoor, and finds a little certainty along the way.

    Or: Dirk is a smitten idiot, Todd really isn't much better, and Hobbs is the Dad we all deserve.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,258
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    179
  18. 1

    Tags
    Summary

    Mona's feeling down in the dumps (body insecurities) and her friends try to help her feel better about it all!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,899
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    60
  19. 1

    Tags
    Summary

    Farah has survived grief, kidnapping, magical mind control, and traumatic injury. She’s allowed herself to trust her friends, and vice versa, and together they’re building something that they can be proud of. So why not allow herself this, too? Why not expose the shadowy, long-hidden corners of her heart and trust that Tina will protect them for her?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,131
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    31
  20. 18

    Tags
    Summary

    “I think the telekinetic, possibly alien baby has imprinted on Todd and now she’s trying to kill me so she can have all his attention to herself.”

    “Okay, let’s, uh. Let’s calm down—”

    “Farah, you have to believe me! Whenever I see her and Todd, I feel like I’m dying. And she just so happens to have powers, so what other explanation is there?”

    “Oh, Dirk,” Farah says in the tone that Dirk has now come to learn means that somewhere along the way, he’s missed something huge and rather obvious.

    -

    A case drops a telekinetic baby into the agency’s care and Dirk feels...overwhelmed whenever he sees Todd competently, wonderfully, lovingly taking care of a child.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,644
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    115
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    680

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