1 - 20 of 163 Works in Eric Cartman Being Eric Cartman

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    After being depressed for a while Kyle decides to kill himself with pills and after having a game night while being drunk he tells it to Cartman. Cartman doesn't know what to do with that info, or how to feel about it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,463
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    519
  2. Tags
    Summary

    *Yo, first fic posted here! Sorry in advance for awkward formatting, difficulty in warnings & trigger warnings, and just for this hot mess in general.*

    Tweek Tweak is a mild-mannered young man. He practices sex in carefully considered moderation. He holds no ill will toward his fellow man. This is his gospel.

    ...But it's all thrown out the window when he is arrested. Arrested for his ongoing meth abuse. Specifically, arrested for murdering his own dealer.

    As his false identity is peeled away, he must find himself while under the anxiety-inducing protection of his rage-prone cellmate, Craig Tucker.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64,388
    Chapters:
    17/35
    Comments:
    468
    Kudos:
    592
    Bookmarks:
    79
    Hits:
    9716
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Craig doesn’t want Tweek to look at him the way everyone else looks at him. Tweek who tried to make Craig a peanut-butter and honey sandwich for lunch, with baby carrots in a tupperware container– Tweek who has a voice like a beehive, low and bumbling and anxious and filled with honey– Tweek who is sitting on the front porch with the porchlight on trying to figure out logorithms and failing miserably because he’s too distracted waiting to see Craig when he gets home– Tweek whose whole face falls at the sight of Craig coming home covered in bruises and blood, and suddenly Craig feels the cold and realizes he’s just wearing a flannel and jeans and his hat is almost falling off and he shivers.
    When you’re about to get your shit kicked in by a guy in steeltoe boots, you don’t have time to think about what you’re feeling for a boy with a voice like a beehive.

    OR

    Winter Break in South Park, Colorado is about to get a whole lot more interesting for Tweek Tweak, Craig Tucker, Token Black, Clyde Donovan, Kenny McCormick, Butters Stotch, and the whole rest of South Park High School when Tweek finds Craig sleeping under a bridge on Thursday night.
    (Updates every Friday!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,488
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    283
  4. Tags
    Summary

    In which Cartman says that Craig doesn’t know anything about Tweek, and Craig agrees.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,702
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    359
  5. Tags
    Summary

    “You’re coming with me.”

    States the larger man after a while.

    “I’m what?”

    “You heard me.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,314
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    18
    Hits:
    186
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Being born an Omega wasn’t easy. Kyle begun to realise this relatively early in life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    223,491
    Chapters:
    32/33
    Comments:
    266
    Kudos:
    584
    Bookmarks:
    49
    Hits:
    18286
  7. Tags
    Summary

    It's the summer before 12th grade, the boys are bored as hell, a spur of the moment trip to Casa Bonita ensues.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,339
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    19
    Hits:
    155
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Eric Cartman is a mysterious being. That's not gonna stop Kyle from attempting to solve him. Even when he can't solve his own problems.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,811
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    296
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Butters turns up at Cartman's doorstep in the wee hours of morning, half-dead and in dire need of help.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,336
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    107
  10. Tags
    Summary

    All Craig and Tweek want is a nice quiet boring Christmas eve skating date but noisy parents, creek fan girls and Eric Cartman make it impossible.
    Aged up characters (creek is 16)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,742
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    271
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “Oh I just don’t know what to do with them, I thought they would have grown out of it by now”

    The boys are sent to a boarding school in West Virginia for troubled teens for the sake of everyone. What they didn't know was that the place is run by religious nutsacks and at arrival, all their possessions get taken away - including phones since it would disturb their "detox."

    This was going to be the worst 2 years of their lives. No worries. Cartman has got a masterplan on how to get them out. And now it's up to the boys to make it across the country and get home safely. Unfortunately, Kyle and Cartman get separated from the rest and must work together to get back on track.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,483
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    114
  12. Tags
    Summary

    After one too many people comment on her son's good looks, Sheila decides to put that theory to the test and enters Kyle in a beauty pageant.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,316
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    515
  13. Tags
    Summary

    ((Rewrite of Set Me Aflame))

    RHYS HADLEY has lived in cities all over the world, but none of them have ever been like South Park. When her mother decides to move to the small hick-town in Colorado一after Rhys gets into a brutal fight with one of her peers一she has to make the best of it. She doesn't expect to make friends so quickly. She definitely doesn't except a simple misunderstanding to be the reason she's thrown into the middle of a superhero turf war, but she might be the only one that can keep them from killing each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,328
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    136
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Tweek doesn't know his soulmate, his soulmate doesn't know him. Until they get an inviation to a pool party

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,904
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    149
  15. Tags
    Summary

    The only thing that comes out of Cartman knowing something he shouldn’t is chaos.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,360
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    558
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Sweet sixteens. The boys are juniors now they should be worried about collage, romance and drivers license. They are but since they live in South Park that also comes with some extra worries. Like mental stability, medications, overcoming trauma both past and present, death, serial killers, sexual assault and if plotting murderous revenge is the best time to ask out your long time crush?

    Kyle has a lot on his plate when he becomes the victim of a seemingly random, sexual hate crime. The cops won't cooperate so it's just up to him and his childhood friends to find his assailant as he turns from rapist to serial killer.

    He finds it weird that out of everyone Cartman seems to be the most interested in killing this guy. Even properly medicated Cartman is a force to be reckoned with when he's pissed off or he thinks you took something that's his. Not that Kyle is his, at least he's pretty damn sure he's not. Some things even hardcore therapy can't change.

    (Cartman is NOT the rapist. I mean hes not a saint either but no he doesn't hurt Kyle. Somewhat slow burn but not really because I have no patience Sorry if the summery is bad idk what I'm doing here. )

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    55,508
    Chapters:
    7/20
    Comments:
    57
    Kudos:
    120
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    2050
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Cartman causes an ‘accident’ meaning Kyle and Stan are now stuck together for the foreseeable future. They have always been very close friends but will being literally bound to one another bring them closer?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,101
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    133
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    2120
  18. Tags
    Summary

    SET AFTER MY FANFIC "ALONE"

    Tweek isn't alone anymore now that they got rid of that damn box. But they're not going to make it with just the two of them, either. They might have more allies than they thought, though.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,059
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    274
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Kyle Broflovski was just trying to complete his senior year of high school, in the mountain town of South Park, only nothing was ordinary about this town. With crime starting to show its ugly face in the rapidly developing town, Kyle wanted to stay away from the life his friends had found themselves in. Only he finds himself roped into it by none other than Eric Cartman, which isn't anything that isn't typical for Kyle's life.

    Discontinued.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,113
    Chapters:
    9/13
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    829
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Two years, six months and 26 days was the last time Stan had drank himself off to sleep. That also happened to be the same date as when he was rushed off to hospital after drinking a drop too much. Two years, six months and 26 days had his mouth been shut to any drink,but could he keep that promise? Just when life started to feel a bit less shitty was when a deep feeling from the pits of his stomach struck him and he was thrown back to his old habits again.
    -
    -
    -
    One day Stan relapses and goes to Kyle's for advice. Kyle's not so thrilled.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,849
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    424

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