1 - 20 of 216 Works in Eric Cartman Being An Asshole

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Kyman Week Day 1: Seven Minutes in Heaven
    --

    “Fuck you, asshole!” I grip a piece of paper in a fist, then throw it in Eric’s direction in an attempt to chuck it at him. The slip flutters into his lap, and when he picks it up and reads it, his face changes to his signature shit-eating grin.

    “Looks like you just might.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    913
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    49
  2. Tags
    Summary

    "𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐈 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐨 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲."

    ➼ Kenny McCormick, South Park High's second biggest whore. The mysterious blue eyed blonde and orange parka wearing boy with a superhero alter ego named Mysterion.

    ➼ Y/n L/n, the optimistic, creative, and most laid back girl in the entire school. Lives in a wealthy household and always has that 'I don't give two shits about anything attitude'.

    ❥ What if Kenny McCormick the biggest whore with a heart of gold from South Park High wasn't the only one who has the gift of immortality in this little town located within the rocky mountains of Colorado?

    ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

    Don't like it? Then don't read it. It's as simple as that. I genuinely like Kenny as a character so I really wanted to write this.

    ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

    𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 - 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐞 𝟐𝟎𝐭𝐡, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐
    𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 - 𝐎𝐧𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠

    This was originally posted on Wattpad so you can go find this fanfic there as well.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,805
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    15
    Hits:
    121
  3. Tags
    Summary

    The main boys were shown in South Park, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, and Stan.

     

    Now they're in High School.

     

    (This is basically a vent fic of me projecting my problems onto characters)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,303
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Hits:
    22
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Moving away in middle school was hard. I had to leave all my friends behind. The only people I ever knew. We moved across the country to a new place. Then my brother died, and my parents thought it would be better to move back to South Park.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,863
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    609
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Wendy decides to end off senior year with a bang by planning a class trip to Disney World! But with the unexpectedness of the people of South Park, who knows what wacky tomfuckery will unfold?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,590
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    378
  6. Tags
    Summary

    When a joke doesn't become a joke anymore. When a game becomes an addiction. When kissing causes curses. The threat of losing Kyle to another town, to another person, drives Cartman to, once again, act without thinking. A fake love letter and a UTI might just mean the literal end of the world.

    READ TAGS.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    186,021
    Chapters:
    21/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1364
  7. Tags
    Summary

    WARNING: THIS FANFIC CONTAINS SENSITIVE TOPICS AND COURSE LANGUAGE AND DUE TO ITS CONTENT SHOULD NOT BE READ ANYONE ■

    Kyle was on his last straw with Cartman this Fatass was making his bood boil over and he has had enough and it was only a matter of time till he explodes into Rage.

     

    This is a test run for this fanfic if you enjoy it leave a comment and I shall post more chapters, but since I do intend to have these chapter fairly long about 2,000+ words then it may take awhile thank you for your understanding ♡

     

    Kyle falls in love with Cartman first and if you don't like it then you can suck my nonexistent balls you Bastards, but anyways hope you enjoy ♡

    Instagram:
    The_Art_of_the_101
    And
    _A_total_bastard_101 (my southpark account I draw)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,836
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    96
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    2190
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Stan and Kyle go for a walk in the forest after school. They find a nice clearing, and admit something that's been bothering the both of them for years.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,065
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    261
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Kyle finds out his new girlfriend has been cheating on him with someone twice both their ages. He becomes miserable and goes to the worst person of all for comfort, his ex, Eric Cartman.

    Lets just say his idea of comfort wasn’t quite what Kyle hoped for.

    (Btw the gf has no identity she is not a character from the show.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,247
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    196
  10. Tags
    Summary

    "The only thing that's breaking UP is my family, but me? I'm breaking down!"

    The New Kid reflects on her family situation and breaks down into tears. Luckily, she has the Freedom Pals - except for the Coon - to help her out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    726
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    138
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Kyle and Stan get invited to gay weddings all the time as appreciation for the two boys making it so they get married. So when Kyle runs away for a week the only thing that can seem to bring him back is a wedding.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,355
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    68
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Stan finds out about Kyle self harming, and takes care of him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,245
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    467
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Eric Cartman had been gone for two years after being sent off to a mental ward. Suddenly, he's back and people are starting to believe he might've genuienly changed. But Kyle knew better than that. He always did.

    And he knows damn well he's not wrong this time either. He'll make sure to prove they're all wrong, even if it means ignoring his crumbling mental health in the process.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,855
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    616
  14. Tags
    Summary

    ¨Why, Kyle please, why did you do this?¨ he started to cry, but I felt happy; happy I could make my husband feel betrayed and hurt, just like I did. I walked towards him, grabbing his chin and giving him a sweet smile, “Till death do us part, Love”.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,692
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    149
  15. Tags
    Summary

    south park au that is basically just a bunch of headcanons thrown together, with self projecting and also they're all gay. Because I'm gay and I said so. It's not centered around any relationship in particular or any CHARACTER in particular. Each chapter will focus on a different character, and I'm gonna try my best not to make this suck but I am my own target audience and I'm writing this to make myself happy. 😊😇

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,529
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    185
  16. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,767
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    294
  17. Tags
    Summary

    LGBTQ+ Headcanons I have with oneshots <3
    I have next to no bases for these, and I’m mainly projecting
    eventually this might as well be called "this author writes about their two favourite south park characters by hurting them"
    dont worry butters and tweek i love you so much <<<<33333
    Requests are open

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,901
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    68
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    1406
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Kyle comes across some very incriminating photos on a gossip forum, so she goes to confront the fat turd who put the photos on the internet, only for things to end up even worse :-D

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,568
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1011
  19. Tags
    Summary

    After messing around with a book belonging to Henrietta, our least favorite gay teenagers are transported to they fantasy world they made up as kids! The Kingdom of Zaron seems to be messing with their heads, as feelings and relationships start to blossom.

     

    Also Kenny's a fucking Princess

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,247
    Chapters:
    19/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    68
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1473
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Kenny has stage 4 testicular cancer and is about to die. The Make-A-Wish Foundation made his dream of seeing Captain America in person come true. However, Eric ruins everything as always, by arriving in a Hitler costume. How will Steve react to such a travesty?

    TW: JoJo references

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    363
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    20

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