1 - 20 of 37 Works in Emotionally Constipated Lambert (The Witcher)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    His stomach makes itself known when Eskel catches a whiff of roast chicken as one of the guests steps outside with their plate of food. Eskel is quick to cover his middle with his hand, as if the action alone could muffle his body’s natural response to hunger. Eskel can’t remember the last time he ate.

    Eskel could certainly do with losing a couple of pounds anyway.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    85,020
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Comments:
    113
    Kudos:
    273
    Bookmarks:
    33
    Hits:
    5510
  2. Tags
    Summary

    A pair of oblivious witchers reveal their feelings for each other late at night when everyone else has gone to bed.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,382
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    189
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Lambert thought idly that he should find their current position rather disgusting. Both of them were sweaty and stank from their contract earlier in the day, not to mention there was a whole host of bodily fluids drying on their skin. But then again, Lambert wasn’t sure he was even capable of finding anything about Aiden gross at this point. He felt good. Aching in all the right places. The two of them had been grade-A idiots for waiting this long.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,374
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    86
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    386
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Lambert is feeling insecure in his own skin but Aiden makes sure to let him know it’s okay and he’s loved.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,476
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    276
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Lambert begrudgingly insists on escorting Essi through Velen on her way to Novigrad. On their three days' journey, an unexpected bond is formed as the unlikely traveling companions encounter one another in new light. But will they get through unscathed?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,395
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    281
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Was it still voyeurism, Lambert wondered, when the damn people he was watching were frigging exhibitionists?

    Or

    Lambert is roped into a little game despite himself one winter; if only he could remember what he did to deserve it...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,999
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    113
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    927
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Nevermind that, he could still make it on time. He sprinted back down the hall to his room. Now where the fuck had Bastard put his damn pants? They weren’t in the vomit he had barely cleaned up, or on the bed, or the floor, or next to the closet or-

    “Holy fuck!” Lambert flattened himself against his closet and tried to grip his wallet as menacingly as possible because what the fuck?!

    “Ah, hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this.”

    Lambert loosened his grip slightly on his wallet, although he still had half a mind to throw it at the man. Not only was he standing in his damn apartment, the intruder was holding Lambert’s fucking pants.

    He spluttered incoherently before responding. Where the fuck was Bastard when he needed her! She was the world’s worst guard cat.

    “Maybe we would, if you would stop breaking into my fucking apartment!”

     

    or: aiden is a real life cat burglar, lambert is tired, and his actual cat is a nuisance

    written as a collaboration for the witcher bog july fic train event

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,226
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    112
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    712
  8. Tags
    Summary

    This is a collection of all the fics I did for a 1200 followers celebration late in 2020. Enjoy :)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,604
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1141
  9. Tags
    Summary

    This is a collection of asks and requests for Lambert I have done from Tumblr. Enjoy :)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,722
    Chapters:
    19/?
    Kudos:
    18
    Hits:
    168
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “I want you to teach me how to paint my face.”

    Eskel looks up from his book, raising an eyebrow at Lambert’s sudden request. He’s barely seen the youngest witcher these past few days, almost as if Lambert has actively been avoiding him all this time. Eskel notices the constipated look on Lambert’s face, the one he usually gets when he needs something, but doesn't want or doesn’t know how to ask for it. 

    “Good morning, Lambert,” Eskel counters sarcastically, returning his attention to the bestiary in his lap, “I'm doing well, thanks. What about you?”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,511
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    120
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1493
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Lambert and Jaskier meeting for the first time. Lambert is intrigued.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    259
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    113
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    522
  12. Tags
    Summary

    "Aren't you going to introduce us?"

    A smarmy look crosses Lambert's face.

    "Aiden, this is Jaskier – the famous bard whose songs make life easier for us witchers on the Path, the only person ever to win the Oxenfurt Academy bardic competition twice in a row. And this is his lover, Geralt."

     

     
    Jaskier and Geralt bump into Lambert and Aiden on the way to Kaer Morhen. Awkward meet-the-boyfriend ensues.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,220
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    673
    Bookmarks:
    67
    Hits:
    2848
  13. Tags
    Summary

    When you’d first arrived in Kaer Morhern, Lambert seemed to have taken an instant dislike to you. No matter what you did, he’d always have some snide remark to come back with. But once the tension finally boils over, Lambert realises maybe he doesn’t hate you that much at all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,050
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    204
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Lambert is greeted by a very enthusiastic Eskel when they reunite at Kaer Morhen.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,187
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    88
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    518
  15. Tags
    Summary

    He’s got no other choice here. Lambert demands, hackles still up, “Do we know each other?”

    “Not yet,” says Aiden.

     

    (Lambden AU where everyone has an animal daemon.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,652
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    96
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    625
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Lambert has a tendency to loudly disparage romance, despite very much wanting it for himself. Not that he's going to admit that. Now, Vesemir has had enough and takes matters into his own hands.

    And that's how Lambert meets Aiden.

    08/07/2021 UPDATE: this fic was previously marked as finished, but now has three short extra chapters that are just fluff and happiness

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,132
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    427
    Kudos:
    458
    Bookmarks:
    91
    Hits:
    4116
  17. Tags
    Summary

    It should have been the happiest day of Lambert’s life. That’s what everyone said, and honestly he wanted to be happy.

    - It's Lambert's wedding day and he's having cold feet.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,184
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    62
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    222
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Kairosclerosis: the moment you realize you're happy

    Lambert knows pain.

    As time goes on, it all blurs into one. Physical, emotional, mental...sooner or later, it blends together, and he can no longer find the difference. Pain is pain, and it all hurts the same. People speak of childhood like it’s something fond, a time of happiness in memories long past, but Lambert doesn’t know what that feels like.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,183
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    186
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    980
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Lambert thought this would all be over soon. One boat ride to remove Aiden's curse then he can return to pining for the other Witcher in peace. But things never do go smoothly...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,048
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    69
    Hits:
    302
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Eskel has always taken care of his brothers. That’s his role. That’s the part he plays. He will continue to do so, no matter what it takes.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,519
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    132
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    1017

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