1 - 20 of 149 Works in Eggsy Unwin is a Little Shit

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Susan Pevensie didn't think her life could get better: she had a job she loved, great friends, and Merlin had finally done something about them.

    Funny how a kidnapping can change everything.

    Time to get to work again.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,059
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1110
  2. Tags
    Summary

    part three of the series that wasn't intended to be a series.

    With Michelle dead and gone (finally, the cunt), Eggsy can move on and live his life. All he needs is his Daddy and his Flower to be truly happy. Now, if Merlin and Tequila would just get their heads out of their asses and get together officially; Eggsy could die happy.

    (no planned character deaths though lol)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64,838
    Chapters:
    40/40
    Comments:
    89
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    2041
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Eggsy has been left alone for two weeks when his husband, Sebastian, travels to the States for business. He's bored, not knowing what to do with his new found free time after a few days and texts his husband. Expecting nothing more than a lovely 'hi dear' back, Eggsy is not at all anticipating the photo his husband sends him. One that has Eggsy flustered, and not in the fun way since he's alone, and traveling over 5,000 miles overnight to fix that situation.

    ---

    Sebastian is, as ever, fancast with Richard Madden.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,055
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    232
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Eggsy Unwin is a Dom. Yeah, he's kind of inexperienced, but he's keen - but he knows he's not worthy of anything Harry and Merlin have to offer. At least, not yet. No matter what his fantasies are.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,811
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    117
    Kudos:
    192
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    2846
  5. Tags
    Summary

    egg(alahad)sy created Kingsman chat.

    egg(alahad)sy: welcome to a new era

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,972
    Chapters:
    10/15
    Comments:
    61
    Kudos:
    129
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1754
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Merlin x Oc basically porn with a plot. Merlin remembers exactly how women can be so distracting, and with eggsy trying to have his back from Harry getting on his case what else can Merlin do to relieve stress? So what if she might be a double agent. Its not like he was attatched or anything.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,509
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    494
  7. Tags
    Summary

    All that pain, and all that misery and all that lonliness... it just made him kinder.

    Dean Baker is out of jail and Eggsy fearing his life runs. When he looses everything will he say Oxford not brogues?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    441
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    503
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Eggsy used to need money, now he has it.
    Eggsy used to have a bad reputation, that reputation sticks.
    -----------------------------------------------------

    Eggsy often did things in life to get what he wanted or needed, food, clothes, a packet of cigarettes. All things that are pocketed easily as he waltzes out the store. However, when Dean doesn’t pay the bills and Daisy needs feeding something had to give.
    -----------------------------------------------------

    NOTE:
    HARRY AND EGGSY ARE NOT DATING
    They are mentor/mentee relationship
    I will not write harry/eggsy smut
    I never will

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    636
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    358
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Harry asks Eggsy to do something for him after a long day of work.

    OR

    Harry wants Eggsy to sit on his face.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,886
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    126
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1928
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Eggsy's young, willing, and able. Harry just wants a good night's sleep.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,043
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    241
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    2919
  11. Tags
    Summary

    scrambled_eggsy added rmorton, Emrys, and galahad.sr to KingsSquad
    rmorton: why
    scrambled_eggsy: why not

    Or: the Kingsman groupchat fic no-one asked for.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,477
    Chapters:
    28/?
    Comments:
    246
    Kudos:
    1245
    Bookmarks:
    174
    Hits:
    15749
  12. Tags
    Summary

    London is due to get a nasty snow storm, which means some of the roads are closed off. That means Harry, Percival, Merlin, Eggsy and Roxy are stuck at Kingsman's Estate. They are all cozy by a fire with alcohol, and an idea to play truth or dare to pass the time.
    When it comes time for Harry's turn, he pulls Percival's name out of a hat holding everyone's name. He decides to ask his husband what the first thing was Percival noticed about him.
    Percival's answer surprises everyone.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,046
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    81
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    644
  13. Tags
    Summary

    These are added scenes that did not make it into the main story: Happy Pets Means a Happy Home.

    It will include snippets between chapter 33 and 34 of the story - nearly a 20 year gap between the two chapters - and other fun, including: Pet POV's, tumblr requests for the story, personal HC's on the story, time-stamps, and some much needed merhartwin smut - which is what started this monster in the first place.

    All of our favorite canines, and a few added animals, will be making an appearance here was well.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,914
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    74
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    780
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Finding out that the man you fell ass-over-teakettle in love with has basically come back from the dead is plenty good enough a reason to break it off with the Princess you bummed while saving the world the first time… Innit? Now, Eggsy just has to woo Harry Hart, his former mentor and soon to be Kingsman's new King Arthur of Avalon. He knows what he wants and he's not that beat down Chav street punk anymore (well, he is still that Chav street punk - he’s just not anywhere near that browbeaten since Dean's been outta the Unwin Family's lives). Nothing and no one's stopping him from finding his and Harry's Happily Ever After! Except… maybe Harry himself…?
    Harry finds that he must now learn how to adapt, live and thrive in a very changed world. Waking up in a padded cell after months of amnesia, saving the world yet again, nearly losing his best friend and returning to the ruins of his home, of Kingsman, of his life, almost sounds like a walk in the park, compared to how his heart and his mind keep fighting to the death over what should be done about a certain Chav agent...

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    74,139
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    72
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    2671
  15. Tags
    Summary

    “I like you.” Eggsy grinned, watching Harry with lust-blown pupils. He stroked his fingers through Harry’s messy curls, his heart racing with anticipation. “You’ve ruined me for women forever.”

    “Good.” Harry scoffed, his eyes playful when he smirked up at Eggsy. “And other men too, I hope?”

    “Yeah that too.” Eggsy laughed softly, nudging his hips forward to try and tempt Harry into hurrying. He had been waiting for this all morning, and he couldn’t bear to wait any more.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,678
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    242
    Bookmarks:
    47
    Hits:
    3153
  16. Tags
    Summary

    After a mission, Eggsy decided to play a little game with Harry. But things bot going on their on way

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,556
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1221
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Eggsy was only 19 when he got into the business. Now he didn’t choose to do it... necessarily. It was offered. Dean has been in their lives for quite a bit, and Eggsy’s mother Michelle was pregnant with the damn bastard’s kid. Deep down, both Michelle and Eggsy knew that the drunkard wouldn’t be of much help financially.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,754
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    137
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    2461
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Eggsy has seen Rocketman, and that bloke who plays Elton wears an impressive pair of hot pants.
    This is Eggsy in hot pants, and Merlin approves.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    828
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    67
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    579
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Alternative title: Five times Eggsy had a wank, and one time he had a hand...

    Eggsy Unwin really, really wants to get off. But it's not like there are many opportunities for privacy in the Kingsman training dorms. Or out on mission. Or on a stakeout....

    He'll just have to take matters into his own hands, make the best of it, and hope that nobody catches him - even if he might hope that someone in particular is watching.

    ~~~

    'Anyway he’s up, and his dick could hammer nails into steel, and he’s pretty sure everyone else’s sleeping. And if they ain’t sleeping, well, they fucking should be, and he wants a wank.

    And if Merlin’s behind the glass, well. Tough shit for him.'

    ~~~

    This is a 5+1 that wouldn't leave me alone, and then grew into six chapters of absolute filth. Featuring alll the wanking you could ever want, in all manner of scenarios. It's total, absolute smut, with a big old dollop of fluff, and a teeny bit of fluff that bullied it's way in.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,316
    Chapters:
    4/6
    Comments:
    73
    Kudos:
    205
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    2564
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Eggsy encounters a sexy Scot when Roxy coaxes him to have drinks at a different pub, Galahad's. A man who can put away scotch and speaks filthily to him with the same mouth, while Eggsy wants to show him what he can do with his.
    Everything working out in Eggsy's favor, until he has to take care of a drunken Roxy. Resigned he'll probably never see Merlin again, little does Eggsy know that he is the head bartender at Galahad's.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,211
    Chapters:
    18/18
    Comments:
    237
    Kudos:
    377
    Bookmarks:
    85
    Hits:
    6427

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